The Lone Berserker
by emberin
Summary: AU. Kira, running away from his false life, his true identity and his best friend, searches for the truth amidst this insane game called war... /Chapter 15: Arson of the Soul/
1. Abandoned Child

The Lone Berserker

Chapter One: Abandoned Child

Yet another fanfic which I am currently working on but might never finish. This whole idea actually sprouted from when Kira was called a berserker for his SEED abilities. So if you like this story, thank that episode. If you hate this story, blame that episode. Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

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_Long ago, in the world of Abyss, there lived a race of people known as the Berserkers. These people were just like normal people except for one fact: when they are angered to a certain extent, they go 'berserk' and destroy enemies with immense power, but little control. Only the voice of a familiar one would return them to normal. And even then, the more times a person went 'berserk', the harder it was for that person to stop. Eventually, if the person went 'berserk' enough times, he or she would reach a state where all they could do was destroy. This meant that often other Berserkers were the cause of a Berserker's death. However, coupled with fear and hatred from fellow human beings, this fact mutilated the Berserker numbers._

_The year is Evolutionary Era 200. One hundred years have passed since Berserker execution ended. The few remaining Berserkers, if any, are only experiments for mad scientists meddling with genetic code, deep within the reaches of high mountains or dark forests. Even though Berserkers are virtually extinct, many countries do not allow Berserkers to live there. Anyone suspected of having traits specific to a Berserker was shunned from society, left to fend for themselves. The general opinion was, "If they're so tough and powerful they can handle the pain, right?"_

_This is when our story begins.

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_

Year EE 200, May 21

Onogoro, KINGDOM OF ORB

Mrs. Yamato silently tended to the flowers in her garden. She had just gotten out of the hospital after she had given birth to her new daughter. She and her husband had decided to call her Cagalli, after the great Orb leader who had given Orb a prosperous start in the Evolutionary Era. She hoped that their baby girl would grow up to have her traits and also be able to cope with the fact that she had a twin brother who she would never see.

Tears from the new mother's eyes fell as she remembered the doctors telling her that her son was stillborn. She and her husband had spent DAYS finding all sorts of baby outfits that would match for them both. They bought two of everything, from cribs to pacifiers to toy rattles. They had even planned a name: Kira. But now, their son was gone, and there was nothing that could be done to bring him back.

She suddenly realized that in her remembering she had cut one of her flowers by the stem. That very flower was the one she had grown from seed, from when she first got pregnant. Actually, there had been two, one for Cagalli and one for Kira, but now… all the feelings rushed back again.

Mr. Yamato walked up to her. In his arms was their daughter Cagalli, who was only three days old. When he saw his wife's face, he got filled with worry. He bent down and looked at the cut flower, wet with tears. A feeling of sadness lingered in the air, mingled with the silence. Then, the father spoke.

"It is sad, but we must move on, dear," he said, trying to soothe the mother.

"Yes," was the slow reply, after more silence.

Mr. Yamato looked up at the sky to see darkening clouds cover the sun. a raindrop landed on baby Cagalli's head. She cried with delight and reached for the sky with her small hands. The husband put a hand on the wife's shoulder as he silently gestured for her to come inside.

An hour later the skies finally cleared over Onogoro. Mrs. Yamato decided to take a walk in the local park, to relieve her stress. Emptily gazing at the sky, she turned off the main path to enter the flower field path. Instantly her nose was filled with many wondrous scents, her eyes seeing multitudes of brightly coloured flowers. Perhaps another person would have felt so invigorated by the scents that it would make them want to go and make someone feel loved. Still, Mrs. Yamato was far too lost in thought to have seen anything else, so lost that she almost tripped over a basket left in the middle of the path.

Thinking that it was just a picnic basket left by a careless couple, Mrs. Yamato stepped around it and kept walking. However, at that very moment the basket cried out. It sounded like it was a baby that was crying out. Odd. But then, baskets couldn't make sounds on their own. So the surprised mother crouched down next to the basket and opened the lid.

Inside, swaddled with lavender cloth, was an infant. The child was very, very young, as there was not much hair on his head. When Mrs. Yamato looked in the baby's eyes, she saw an endless purple, clear, almost innocent-like. She then noticed a piece of paper also in the basket. Taking out the paper, also purple, she unfolded it and read the writing on it:

To the finder of this note:

I leave my son in you hands. I am sorry to have put this as a burden upon your shoulders. However, the last thing I want to do is to leave him in an orphanage. But please, I only want him to lead the life neither I nor the orphanage could ever provide. He is only a mere three days old, but has no name. I leave it to you to decide his name, as it is the only I can repay you.

Once again, I ask you for your forgiveness, and please treat this child as though he were your own.

The note was unsigned, and it left Mrs. Yamato with a mixed set of emotions, worry and gratefulness included. It would be wonderful to treat this baby boy as her own son, but what if it was a trap? Or a bomb, perhaps? And even if the infant's parent was telling the truth, why was their son left behind? Was it because of some disability? Or because they knew of something that would happen to him? All these questions ran through her mind, but she had not one answer. At the same time she could care less; she had, if not biologically hers, a son, and she would not let him die. It was painful enough to have one dead child.

Finally, Mrs. Yamato picked up the child wrapped in those soft purple cloths, the colour of his eyes. There was just so much mystery about him. _But three days old? That's the same age as Cagalli, _she thought. _Which is why it's just like having my other son back…_ it brought great joy in her heart. Now her life could be just as it was meant to be, with a daughter and a son, along her husband, all in a happy house, happily ever after. Cradling the boy in her arms, she stood up and began to walk out of the flower field. She didn't need to stop and wonder once to give her new son a name. it was already drilled into her head.

"Thank you," she whispered into the child's ear, "Kira Yamato."

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So that was chapter one of The Lone Berserker! Please tell me what you thought of it, I'd appreciate it. Now hopefully someone will review…

EmbeRin


	2. Awakened Power

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Two: Awakened Power

I'm surprised at the reaction to this fic… I'm so happy! dances around room But I'm so sorry for updating so slow… I suck at updating. Added to the fact that I have other fics to update, I hope you will wait.

To the reviewers:

**artgirl150**: The fic is an AU, but I might put in some of that conflict. Hmm…

**Yun Fei**: Yes, Athrun and Lacus will be appearing, but it will be a while into the story. Don't expect to see them anytime soon. Maybe around chapter four…

**tsuryu214,** **i love athrun, RuByMoOn17**: Here's chapter two!

**sakuracheery2**: Thanks, it was?

**crystal-gundam**: I got the idea… so deal with the fact I left you with one of the worst scenarios ever.

**Neptune47**: I feel like I'm going to let you down when you say that. Oh well…

Onto the story!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

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Year EE 213, May 30

Yamato Household, Onogoro, KINGDOM OF ORB

"So you take the x and move it to the other side of equation to leave the multiplication. Cancel out the division on that side so you 6 x 3 x 7 on the other. See? X equals 126. I still can't believe you couldn't do that, Cagalli," a boy with brown hair and purple eyes said. He wore a black shirt with cuts in the sleeves that showed a red shirt underneath, fastened by red buckles and with a white collar, along with pants of a pale green. The tone of his voice, was somewhat teasing, a complement to the innocent look in his eyes.

Cagalli knew that voice, but as usual, she blew up on him. Perhaps her mother didn't think that she'd inherit that triat from her, but it was _somewhere_ in her genes. Her golden-blonde hair seemed to go along perfectly with her explosive attitude. She had on a red shirt with a green vest and brown pants. An angry flash passed by her brazen yellow eyes.

"Stop teasing me! Just because you happen to be a math genius and I'm not, _Kira_, doesn't mean you have permission to stick it in my face!" she yelled. "Hmph!" She angrily crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air. Cagalli looked back at Kira to see him laughing. "What's so funny?" she asked him as he continued to chuckle.

"Nothing," he answered, with an inward smile. It was just funny for him to see Cagalli angry. She never really got around to controlling her anger, because everyone did what she wanted when she blew up. Everyone except the rest of the Yamato household, that is. "Well, I'm sure there's something you're good at," he reassured her.

"Hmm… let's see… nope. You're better than me at EVERYTHING!" Cagalli complained. "It's like you got the brains _and_ the brawn of the two of us when we were born. And what do I get? Nothing!" She threw her hands into the air. "And I'm supposed to be the older of the two of us!"

"Well, you got all the wits," Kira replied calmly.

Both of them knew very well that they were not truly biological twins. They were fully aware that Kira was found and adopted by the Yamatos thirteen years ago, when he was just a baby who happened to be as old as Cagalli. But they still got those 'twin twinges', that sixth sense that twins used to know if something had happened to the other. So they pretended they were biological twins, the same way everyone else thought they were, to strengthen their bond.

But still, whenever one of them mentioned twins, Kira would wonder. If he was adopted, then who were his real parents? And why did they abandon him? Did he have a brother or a sister? _No, _he thought. _I already have a mother, a father and a sister. This is my home. _Often he had to say it out loud, to make it seem more like the truth.

"…Kira! Kira! Hello…" Cagalli was waving both hands in front of his face, and then whacked him on the head. "Earth to Kira… if we want to join everyone else at the spring fair at the park, you gotta help me finish this algebra!" She sighed at the pages and pages of equations.

Rubbing his head, Kira nodded.

An hour later, while the sun was hovering halfway down the sky, after slowly crawling through their huge piles of homework, Kira and Cagalli went to the park to the annual Onogoro Spring Fair, where there were many games, rides and contests. At the entrance, they met their friends, Miriallia, Tolle, Kuzzey, and Sai. Surprisingly, Flay was also there. The daughter of the school principal, she was a grade lower than the rest of them, who were in grade seven. Regardless of age, Flay was a very influential person who could get anything she wanted. Some said she could give even Cagalli and her temper a run for their money.

Kira wasn't a person who absolutely adored Flay, but she did seem to have an interest in him. She would hang around Sai but give him these glances, like she was making eyes with him. Cagalli, on the other hand, hated Flay, but you could say hated was an understatement. She hated the way Flay looked at Kira like they were meant to be, but she could just tell that Kira was meant to be with… someone OTHER than that spoiled, stuck-up brat that was unworthy of Kira's gentle kindness. But perhaps Kira was a little _too_ gentle… Nonetheless, Flay hated Cagalli just as much as Cagalli hated her. Poor Kira, caught in between two angry girls knew not to leave them to their own devices when they saw each other.

"Hey, Kira, Cagalli," Tolle said as he waved them over. "Where do you want to go first? We have two votes for the midway carnival, one for the art gallery, one for the techno-gadgets and one for the food stalls." At that moment Sai's stomach grumbled, causing everyone to laugh.

"I vote for the midway!" Cagalli cried, always eager for some excitement.

"Alright then, it's settled. To the midway!"

As they walked through the park, they could see the large Ferris wheel looming in the distance. They entered the midway, buying twenty tickets each. Kuzzey, ever the lucky one, won at rubber duck picking, choosing a large stuffed duck for a prize. Tolle and Miriallia piled into a bumper car each and spent an enjoyable three minutes crashing into each other. Flay and Sai were going to enter a haunted house rite, but at Flay's insistence, Kira went as well. Cagalli, suspecting that something was going to go wrong, said she was going to go too, shooting a glare at Flay. Kira was smart, but he was far too naïve.

The moment the four of them stepped inside to line up, Flay grabbed Kira's arm, saying, "This already looks scary… Kira, are you sure it's not that scary?" Looking over at the two of them, Sai raised an eyebrow and Cagalli scowled, but neither did anything to interfere, knowing that Flay would throw a tantrum. And when it was about her and a guy, even Cagalli would probably be unable to overpower it. So in the end, both of them sat in the four-person car watching Flay latch herself onto Kira, trembling in fear, when the ride itself wasn't scary at all. In fact, the ride was almost hilarious.

After everyone had exhausted their tickets, they stopped for food, and then went off to explore the rest of the fair. This year's art theme was 'Futuristic War', so on easels propped along some park paths were colourful pictures of robotic designs, beam cannons and space battleships. Kira was particularly intrigued by one titled 'GUNDAM' with two robots duking it out using beam guns, cannons and some sort of sabre. He wasn't surprised it won; the painting was well done.

The technology section contained fascinating gizmos made by people, including a virtual reality fighting game. Tolle challenged Cagalli, and was sorely defeated in front of everyone else. There were plenty of machines, like phones that transformed into fit onto your wrist as a watch, and mirco-cameras that could follow people using a remote. One such camera was secretly being put to the test.

In a corner, two men were talking to three teens. The two men were blonde; one teen had yellowish-greenish hair, one had vivid-green hair that covered half of his face, and the third had red hair. One of the men wore a mask on his face, while the other dressed in a pale blue suit. Their camera was currently following someone.

"You know what to do, boys," the man in the blue suit said. "Get her, and make sure that it works. I want to see it happen. If not, your contract is over."

"Yes, sir!" The three teens ran off.

The other man smiled slightly. "Finally, I will see the power!" he whispered.

The sun was almost down when the friends decided to leave. They walked out to the central park plaza entrance, where everyone would go their ways. Suddenly, Flay gasped and started acting really worried. Cagalli rolled her eyes. She hated watching 'Flay's Fake Freaking', as she called it whenever Flay put on a show to get attention.

"What's wrong?" Kira asked her. "Is there a problem?"

"I forgot to do my science homework!" Flay wailed. "And I don't know how to do it! Kira, will you help me?" She looked at him pleadingly, with a wide-eyed, puppy-dog look in her eyes that made Cagalli want to puke. Kira stammered uncertainly. "Well… uh…" was all he could manage to say.

"I can help you, Flay," Miriallia offered.

"Uh… no, it's all right," Kira said, suffering a glare from Cagalli. "It's okay. Milly… why don't you go home with Tolle? I'll just help Flay with her work and go back home. Cagalli, you can go ahead first," he added hastily to an angry sister. "I'll return later."

"Oh no you don't," Cagalli snarled in response, more to Flay than to Kira. "I'm sticking with you no matter what!" Saying goodbye to everyone else, an unusually joyful Flay, a half-heartedly smiling Kira and an enraged Cagalli left Kuzzey, Tolle, Miriallia and Sai. They headed in the direction of the flower field, one of the few paths not used for the fair. This also happened to be the pathway to the Allster mansion, a.k.a. Flay's house.

"YOU stand here," Flay pointed at a point on the path in front of the field, "and stay there while I go home with Kira."

"That's insane! You expect me to stand here for who knows how long, waiting for you to take your time doing your work? Forget it!" Cagalli grabbed Kira's wrist in a grip that threatened to crush his bones, and began to drag him away. If you looked closely in her eyes, there was a little bit of worry there, but it was overshadowed by anger.

"You know, Cagalli, it's only a matter of me going to daddy and reporting you for the bully you are, and getting him to EXPEL you from school," Flay said airily, twining a strand of red hair around her finger. She appeared innocent, but inside was the struggle for power, and she was willing to do anything to win. Scowling, Cagalli shuffled over to the spot Flay pointed at and stood there while she walked into the field with Kira.

When they reached the doorstep of the mansion, Flay turned to look Kira in the eyes. She seemed almost immersed in them so Kira shook her. "Um… Flay?" he said. "We should be inside helping you with your homework. You want to make sure it's done, right? And I really don't want to keep Cagalli waiting long."

"Who cares about the homework," Flay said dismissively. "My daddy can get excuses for the teachers. The real reason I came today… was to see you and get to know you better, Kira." She said this all very seductively, while discreetly slipping her hands in his. This boy was hers. And it was so easy…

Kira knew what she was doing, and the Cagalli side of him that had been infused in his bones since childhood wanted to go and shove her into that nearby patch of pansies. But the cautious, careful and more submissive side of him felt like this was a part of life he was missing. Still, he didn't lower his guard completely. Knowing Flay, she would take this very, VERY far. They were still too young to get as far as she wanted.

Flay wrapped her arm around Kira, bringing their heads closer. But just as she brought her lips up for a kiss, a scream rang out in the warm spring air. Even from so far away, Kira could recognize that voice. Cagalli needed his help. His _sister_ needed his help.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," he said hastily. At that moment a flash of pain passed through his arm. Instinctively he grabbed his arm but nothing was there. This confirmed that Cagalli was in trouble. He broke away from Flay before she could say a word, and started down the path at a sprint.

_What was I thinking? _he thought as he ran. He let Flay get that close. He barely knew her. Besides, as far as she was concerned, he was only another toy to play around with, just like Sai. Yet that other side of him felt so at home, experiencing love's actions for the first time. He was torn between the opinions of his sister, a girl he'd lived with all his life, and Flay, a girl he barely knew but almost kissed.

Kira arrived to see Cagalli being harassed by the high school bullies, Clotho Buer, Shani Andras and Orga Sabnack. One held Cagalli by both arms with a knife to her throat. The other two looked like they had been waiting, anticipating his arrival. When they saw him, both leapt up and attempted to punch him. He dodged one and blocked the other, all the time thankful he took taekwondo classes.

"Let Cagalli go!" he seethed. "If you have any business with me then fine, but let my sister go!" He broke away from Orga and tried to rush at Shani, who was holding Cagalli, but Clotho stepped in and kicked out, forcing Kira to walk back into Orga's fist. He fell to the ground, but got out of the way of Clotho's punch. The fist slammed into the stone path and began to bleed, but it didn't stop Clotho.

Orga lashed out at Kira with his foot, intent on kicking him. _Time to improvise,_ Kira thought. He grabbed Orga's foot and swung him in Clotho's direction. After, he stared at his hands, wondering what he had done. He just threw a teenager by the foot… he ran over to Shani, who only wiggled the knife he held in his right hand.

"Don't try, Yamato," he sneered. "Lay one finger on me, and you know the rest."

Kira stopped dead in his tracks. If he attacked Shani, Cagalli was dead. If he let them get away, Cagalli was as good as dead. If he beat up Clotho and Orga, then went back to Shani, Shani would Cagalli then too. No matter how he looked at the situation, he would lose.

Suddenly, Kira was hit on the back by a foot. He fell face forward onto the cold stone and could feel the foot press down on him. He turned his head to see Orga's foot in front of him. There was a moment of tense silence. Then, Kira heard Clotho's voice.

"So, Yamato, show us your power!" he said.

"What power?" Kira asked, confused.

"Well, it seems we shall have to indulge him now, shall we?" Orga replied, not bothering to answer Kira's question. "Shani, you know what to do…"Those words struck fear in Kira's heart. What were they going to do to Cagalli? He couldn't even see… but a scream answered his deepest fears. A feeling of anger so strong, so powerful and uncontrollable began to boil inside him.

In his mind, Kira saw a seed explode.

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Yes, it sounds so clichéd… but oh well. This was actually quite a long chapter! I don't think you can expect others to be this long. Just to tell you, I hate Flay (or Fllay, however you want to spell her name) and that I've also heard Clotho being called Crot, but I didn't really think that was a nice name, and I heard the name Clotho first, although more people call him Crot. So don't come complaining to me about the names. I'll try and update more speedily, but there's so many projects coming up…

EmbeRin


	3. Attester to the Forbidden

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Three: Attester to the Forbidden

I'm finally updating, and I'm sorry for making you wait so long. I know that it was about a month since the last update, but there's been so much work lately, and I was having a lazy streak up around early April. And then there's the Chinese exam, and the various projects, and my birthday was on Monday (that wasn't something you needed to know). So yes, that's the story.

Reviewers (who have waited so patiently, or have thrashed around, I don't blame you if you did): The pairings are still somewhere lost in the plot, but I'm thinking of a KxL. This means that Lacus (and Athrun, of course) will be making an appearance in the story. And sorry if I offended anyone with my last statement about my hating Flay, but it's true. And looking at the reviewers, some agree. Oh, and abi2301, thank you for that bit (read: volume) of information. I knew a bit about that, but I wasn't that well informed.

Finally, ONTO THE STORY!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

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Orga was surprised to find his foot being lifted up as Kira stood up. It would take immense strength to do that, yet Kira simply got up as though his foot wasn't there at all. He turned to Shani, who had blood on the blade he held in his hand. And Kira was sure that blood was his sister's. A sharp pain on his neck confirmed that fact.

Cagalli stared in fear at her brother. His expression was one of rage and hatred, and his stance was one of an attacker's. But it was the eyes that scared her most. Her brother's eyes, that soft lavender that comforted her when she cried, that smiled when she insisted she was older, that darkened slightly when he frustrated, was now devoid of any kindness or compassion. They stared at the man who held her captive with laser-tuned anger. It pained Cagalli to know that this person who stood in front of her, having her brother's clothing and appearance, was really her twin brother Kira Yamato.

"Do I really need to say it again? Let my sister go!" he snarled. When Shani didn't comply, Kira began to rush towards him, stopping right in front of him to land a punch to his head. Kira calmly picked up the now unconscious teen's knife and turned to face the other two.

"You saw what I did to him. If you don't want to end up in a hospital like he will, I suggest you leave," Kira said in a cold, harsh voice, fighting to remain under control of his anger. The only sign of this was from his shaking shoulders. His tone was even, his face was calm, and the knife was at his side, rather than pointing at the other two teens. But even this appearance could not remove the air of tenseness that hung around him.

Clotho and Orga, both looking at each other with strange calmness, nodded and ran off. Scared by EVERYONE'S weird behaviour, Cagalli took an involuntary step backward, away from Kira. Her mouth kept on opening and shutting itself without saying a word. Shivers kept coursing through her spine.

"K-Kira…" she stuttered.

Kira turned around.

Cagalli was about to smack herself on the head for unleashing a blood thirsty and mad clone of her brother onto herself, but stopped. The lavender eyes were soft again. A small smile played on his lips as he dropped the knife he held in his right hand. It clattered onto the pathway uselessly. It was as though Kira had just been playing a trick on her…

"You all right, Cagalli?" he asked her. He noticed the cut on her neck. Luckily, it wasn't close to a major artery or vein. He carefully wrapped a green handkerchief around her neck. "Come on, Cagalli, let's go home. Mom and dad are probably worried sick about us." He started walking down the stone road. Cagalli trailed behind, thinking about her brother's question. _The question here is, Kira, are _you _all right?

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_

Year EE 213, May 31

Yamato Household, Onogoro, KINGDOM OF ORB

"Good morning Onogoro, it's 7:01 right now on May 31, not a very good day to go outside, as rain and thunderstorms are forecasted all day long… for everyone who is walking to work on this Monday we suggest getting a ride. Now, onto the latest business reports, this is X10 Radio, broadcasting live from Kaguya Tower."

Kira slammed the 'SNOOZE' button on the radio alarm clock on the right side of his bed but the speakers continued to blare out the newest details on the stock market – "Freedom up by 3, Aegis down by a staggering 50! Currently seeking bankruptcy protection…" – so he simply knocked it onto the floor. Even this did not stop the radio, so he reached down and smacked it again. It took three more smacks to silence the clock. By then the clock had been brutally crushed, and he was too worked up to snooze for a few more minutes, so he got out of bed, thinking about how much a new clock would be. However, getting a new alarm clock after school would become the least of his worries.

The first obstacle: his cranky, tired, grouchy, never-well-in-the-morning sister, who lost even more sleep than usual from having to stay up to treat her wound. He could hear her yelling "Kira, shut your stupid clock up!" and turn over on her bed in the bedroom next to his own. Kira smiled. Just life as usual…

But the day went downhill after that. Kira's first period was L.A. They had a grammar test that day. And Kira absolutely despised L.A. It wasn't that he hated the teacher. In fact, the teacher was one of the kindest at Heliopolis Elementary. No, Kira just had no talent or liking for it. He was a technical type of guy who saw no need for an ability to write fantastical stories.

After two periods of tackling a five-page test about principal clauses, prepositional phrases and the like, the glorious sound of the recess bell reached their ears, or rather, almost turned them into useless flaps of skin dangling by the sides of their heads. Kira was always sure he had heard lots of heavy metal music not as deafening as that, and wondered why he was still able to hear the tone every day.

"What brings you here all flushed and panting, Cagalli?" Sai asked the blonde-haired girl who had collapsed onto the pavement in front of them just when they had walked out. Cagalli was in a different homeroom class, with Tolle and Kuzzey, and their class was closest to the door. However, Cagalli seemed more than eager to go back inside.

"Flay – huff – coming – pant – RUN!" she managed to say. Everyone cocked their heads in puzzlement. She slapped her hand on her forehead. Clearly they did not understand that their very particles of existence were at a chance of being eradicated from the surface of the earth. Not to mention the fact that this chance of survival was becoming less and less…

"Cagalli, calm down. Take a breath…" her brother said calmly. Obediently, Cagalli gulped down a few breaths of air quickly. "Okay, now talk." Kira gestured for her to begin. Everyone else leaned in, listening intently, for Cagalli made this matter seem very urgent.

"Flay is out to KILL, Kira, and she'll stop at nothing to get to her target. Guess who, Kira, the lucky person's you, and boy, is she pissed. She's running around, going like 'Oh my gosh, that meanie made me fail!' I suggest you run like the wind, because she was going after me too. She's probably traced us here already…" she explained. Not a moment too soon, a scream of fury could be heard, accompanied with rapidly approaching footsteps. Kira took Cagalli's advice, and ran for it.

Alas, it was in vain. The red-haired grade sixer ran up to Kira and instantly began berating him. Kira stared at the girl's anger that was clearly plastered on her face. It was so visible you could almost see steam vent out of her ears. In her pink dress, the daughter of the principal yelled at the poor thirteen-year old in front of a huge crowd that had developed around them. Kira could hear their whispers that rippled through the multitude of people. "Did they get together?" "Looks like it's a break-up scene…" He was so concentrated on picking out the small talk he didn't hear the sound waves actually directed toward him.

"You said you would help me with my homework, but you lied! You ran off to 'save your sister', as you say, but you just don't like me, isn't it? And because of you, I failed my science project!" She was yelling, but Kira could see that tiny smile on her face. He knew it was only meant for him to see. Inwardly, he growled.

A tense silence followed. Everyone seemed to freeze under the cloudy sky, staring at Kira, even Tolle, Milly, Sai and Kuzzey, who just assumed Cagalli's cut was a home accident. (Knowing Cagalli and her aggressive nature, this guess was actually a very good one.) Kira silently snarled at Flay. Flay had on an enraged expression, but her eyes, the narrowed eyes, held a spark of deviousness.

The silence was broken by the end-of-recess bell, and Cagalli had never been happier to hear it. The ring of students split to form four lines in front of the door, but everyone continued to stare at Kira. He hated all this extra attention he was getting. But he continued to get it down the halls, and as the word spread, more people stared. He was glad when the science teacher, Miss Ramius, called for the class's attention.

"We'll be starting the bridge project today," she said as the class flipped to pages 52 and 53 of their textbooks. "Here are the papers on which you will draw your schematics. You can start in class time. This will be handed in to me on Friday, completed."

While everyone was busy measuring and drawing, the PA phone rang. Miss Ramius called out, "Yes?"

"Would Kira Yamato please come down to the office?" the secretary's voice cut through the quiet of the classroom. Suddenly, the spotlight was turned on Kira again. He sighed. Tucking in his chair after he stood up, he walked to the door, opened it, and closed it behind him as he walked out, still aware of the many eyes watching him.

When he arrived at the office, he was surprised to see Cagalli there as well, but what surprised him even more was the presence of the police. As soon as one of them had seen him, they grabbed his arms and handcuffed them. Kira stared at Cagalli in fear, hoping for some support, or at least an explanation. "Kira Yamato, you are under arrest for possessing Berserker-like traits. For such an offence, a trial is immediate. Your sister will also attend, as a witness. You have the right to remain silent. Go quietly into the car outside," a policeman said.

Kira was in shock. A Berserker? Him? _No, this can't be true, _he thought. _This isn't happening. I've just fallen asleep in class. Miss Ramius is going to wake me up at about… now. _But it wasn't a dream. The cold of the handcuffs on his wrists and the policeman grabbing his shoulder was all very real. And he knew it.

As he sat in the back seat, he began to process the information after successfully calming himself down. He had been accused of being like a Berserker, a person who turned mad with rage when something they did not like happened. Every grade seven kid in ORB knows that it is forbidden to possess things of suspicion like a Berserker would, and that the punishment was banishment from ORB. But they also learned that Berserkers were virtually wiped off the face of the earth, so how could HE be a Berserker? Even if there are any left, they would not be free people like he was, unless… he thought back to the story of his adoption.

His mother had been walking in the park, he was told, when she stumbled upon a basket containing only him and a note. Neither of his parents had any idea where he was from. Could it be that he was secretly set free by his biological parents? _No! It isn't true. The court will find me innocent, and I'll just be able to return to a normal life. NOTHING IS WRONG… _but a little part of his mind wanted to differ from that, especially when the facts were going against him.

The police parked in front of a dome-shaped building. Kira was led out of the car, through the gradually growing crowd, through the grand front doors, and into the prisoner's section of the courtroom. People began filing in and looked at the young boy who had become famous, for this was the first Berserker trial for as far as anyone could remember.

The trial was such a high level of importance that the judges were the ORB Council themselves. Kira saw them all walk in, at the end of the line the ORB Representative, Uzumi Nara Athha. Kira had never actually seen him in person, usually just on the television screen and sometimes in newspaper articles. Of course, this might have been more appreciated if it was not such a terrible situation.

As the trial commenced, Kira looked at the surroundings. He was on the right-hand side of the room, if one was looking from the door. On the back wall of the dome were seats for the audience. Opposite those seats were the seats of the judges and the witness chair. The last side of the dome had seats for the jury. In the middle were seats for the prosecution and the defence.

Kira did not know when the trial began; he was far too lost in his own thoughts while the prosecution and the defence presented their arguments. He couldn't tell which side was winning or losing. He was so overcome with fear the other sounds he heard just became white noise, meaningless gibberish that reached his ears. His eyes were downcast, his face expressionless.

"Kira Yamato," the voice of the Representative said. Kira looked up.

"We, the ORB Council, have the final verdict, after hearing the arguments from the prosecutor, Miss Natarle Badgiruel, the defence, Mr. Mu la Flaga and the witnesses Cagalli Yula Yamato, Shani Andras, Orga Sabnack and Clotho Buer." He paused, as though he knew that Kira hadn't listened before, and was giving him a chance to digest the information now. "If you have any last statements that could change our minds, now is the time to say them. Remember that you still have the right to remain silent, Mr. Yamato." Kira chose the second option, not saying a word.

"Then it is settled. The ORB Council, with its ruling power over this Kingdom and all who reside in it, has made the decision. Kira Yamato, you have been found guilty of possessing Berserker-like traits."

"You shall be banished from the Kingdom of ORB."

* * *

What happens next is for you to wait (for about a month…) and find out. Please be patient!

EmbeRin


	4. Alone and Awake to the World

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Four: Alone and Awake to the World

Finally, an update! Yeah, I suck at that, don't I? I'm even ditching my other stories to write and it still takes me almost a month and a half to write one measly chapter that turns out to be shorter than my last one. I struggled with this chapter, mainly because I didn't plan on having it here in the first place, but plot changes wrenched it out of my control. But to all those reviewers who are still reading this, thank you! Yes, Alex Ikari, the last part was sort of rushed. I felt so too… but I don't really know how court works that much, and I'm not going to spend forever creating arguments for both sides and having witnesses come up and say all their stuff… I'm sure some other people would have, just not me. To Ookami Fuu, Attharun, asga, Yun Fei, i love athrun, KiraxLacus, vegetasprincess1, crash and burn, The Mad Dragon, KatYoukai and ritachi for reviewing Chapter Three! BTW, ritachi, love the stories… wish I could write like you do. sigh

I should also probably address the arguments in the reviews section. Kat and crash and burn, stop fighting! And The Mad Dragon too, if you're considering yourself included. The reviews section is for the story and the story alone. If you're going to do that sort of thing, do it somewhere else. And crash and burn, thanks for being a little kinder. Yes, I don't really like Lacus that much either, but I don't hate her, although I am going to torture her a bit, if that makes you a little happier. But Lacus fans don't worry; it's not that bad, and it won't appear until late in the story, but who knows when I'll post it.

Now that's over with. Presenting: Chapter Four!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

_"You shall be banished from the Kingdom of ORB…" _

The words echoed in Kira's head. Banished… from the only place he had ever known, the only place he could call a home. All his friends, his family, his memories, happy or sad, started to flash by, like they do when a person is on his or her deathbed. That day when he burped so loud the class next door heard him… that day he saw Cagalli win at track and field where she jumped up and down like a maniac… that day when Miriallia won the spelling bee… all the happy moments he shared with all he knew slowly began to slip away, like grains of sand falling through his fingers. Everything around him began to fade away.

He left the courtroom in a daze, lavender eyes bewildered, staring off into the now raining sky, unaware of the cameras and microphones pointed his way. Silently he stepped into the car waiting by the side of the road and left to return to his home – for the very last time. Kira knew he had only 24 hours to leave ORB.

Wordlessly, he went to his room and began packing away his belongings. One by one he picked each one up and tried to conjure up a memory. After he went through three items he was in tears, salty droplets of pain and sorrow splashing onto his bed that he would never sleep in again. But still he went on, packing each small item into his bag. He only had a few precious items, so it did not take long, but each memory seemed to span an eternity.

His packing was interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door. Kira turned to see Cagalli walking into the room. Her eyes were puffy, like she had been crying as well. The amber eyes of hers were sad, yet tried to comfort her brother like he had so often done for her before. Wordlessly she sat down on the bed beside him.

There was silence between the two of them as they gathered their thoughts. Neither had ever imagined this happening… the sudden realization that they might never see each other again caused even Cagalli to watch her words. But even though she opened and shut her mouth several times she could not say a word out loud.

Finally, she took a look, a deep look, a curious look, a scared look, at her brother's face. She saw a boy, a thirteen-year old boy who had tears in his eyes and was biting his lip. The lavender irises were looking at his feet, but were not focused on anything – they were just wondering, lost, looking for support. But his voice belied all this fear he showed.

"If you don't have anything to say, you might as well leave, Cagalli," he said coldly. "No one should have to waste time with someone like me. No one wants to be with a Berserker." He said the word with disgust, as though it had cursed him for an eternity of eternities.

"But I care for you, Kira. I'm your sister – "

"See? You only care because we're siblings. We're not even blood related. You don't really care, do you? I'm supposed to be so dangerous and deadly, so stay away from me, is that what you're thinking? Tell me, Cagalli! Don't hid yourself. I want to see you, no matter how ugly you may think yourself as."

Cagalli, who had turned away, looked back at her brother. And suddenly, she felt several things: a sharp pain at her chest, an explosion of thoughts and a feeling so unexplainable and unbelievable, it wiped all her pain, physical and spiritual, completely away. Yet the next thing she knew, she was embracing Kira. And this feeling drove her to tell Kira something she never would have done.

"Kira… there's something I have to tell you."

Cagalli found herself drifting away from her self when she snapped back to reality. What was she doing? However, she had no control over it, so all she could do was watch in horror at her body – rather, listening in horror at the words she was saying.

"I… I… I have these feelings. Feelings for – for you, Kira." Cagalli gasped in horror at herself, mentally, of course. "But… they're not a bro-sis thing. These feelings, they don't belong to a sister!" At that moment, she had control returned to her. "Kira, I –" But she was cut off.

Kira had Cagalli's lips locked in a kiss.

Cagalli could feel Kira's gentleness and kindness. Yet there was another feeling, one so strong and strange that it overwhelmed her. The feeling was so unique but so familiar. It lasted only a second, but it went on for a universe of time. And when Cagalli broke off from the shock, she saw Kira's eyes, full of understanding.

"I understand," he whispered. "Now, please, Cagalli. I have to pack up, before I… leave ORB."

_Kira…_ Cagalli thought as she left the room.

* * *

An hour later Kira emerged from his room, clutching a black duffel bag in his right hand. There was a stoic silence etched in his features. He walked down to the doorway, where his family waited with sad looks on their tired, tear-streaked faces. Cagalli looked away when Kira's eyes met hers. 

For a few moments, no one made a sound. Words never spoken seemed to have been heard. Actions that were never done seemed to have happened. Thoughts never voiced seemed to have been read. Kira's father was the first to speak amidst all the unsaid feelings of anguish and sadness.

"We'll miss you, son," he said quietly. Kira, who had been staring at the ground, looked up to see his mother crying and his father looking calmly at him, but behind his eyes Kira sensed a sadness as deep as his own. A hand suddenly came down on his shoulder. "Wherever you go, remember this; you will always be our family, and no matter what powers, what genetic code you have, you are human. Nothing, not even the fact you're a Berserker, can change that."

Dumbly, Kira nodded. He felt his mother's arms wrap around him in an embrace. "I love you, Kira," she said in her motherly way, then added, "Thank you." Her voice, full of tears and pain, choked on those last two words before she began to cry uncontrollably once more. Before he went out the door, Cagalli grabbed his hand and put something in it. He glanced at it. It appeared to be a small, portable mirror, with a piece of paper wrapped around it. Kira pocketed it, in case someone wanted to confiscate it.

Kira looked back once more to see the people who he had called family for thirteen years. He took his time, knowing that once he was on the other side of the door that now stood in front of him he would probably never see those three people again. Finally, he twisted the doorknob and left the Yamato household – forever.

* * *

Year EE 213, May 31 

Morganroete Airport, KINGDOM OF ORB

ZAFT Sky Kingdom… one of the world's wonders. It consisted of several clear spheres within which soil was put and constructed upon. Each sphere housed several hundred thousand people. These spheres, called PLANTs, were connected with tubular pathways through which ran two rails for shuttling, as each 'skyway', as they were called, was very long and would take a person three hours to walk across. All these complicated and wondrous structures floated in the stratosphere, of course, as implied by the name. The source of this levitation was a strange mineral known as zephyrite, and was embedded within the spheres. Gravity still operated on this plane of Abyss, and every so often there would be an excursion to the surface outside the dome. It was easily one of the most desirable places to live in, and Kira now had a free pass to it. To wish it were under happier circumstances.

Seeing that ZAFT was the closest country that allowed Berserkers to live there, ORB had arranged for an emergency residence pass. All Kira had to do was pass through the test gate which scanned him for health problems. If he couldn't pass the test, he had to be taken to the Kingdom of Scandinavia, and frankly, he didn't like the cold that much. But he passed through with no problem. They gave him a new ZAFT passport, since he was no longer with ORB. The front of it had the ZAFT insignia lined out in gold, and inside was a picture of him taken five minutes before.

"Flight 292 to Aprilius-1 is leaving in five minutes. That is Flight 292, leaving in five minutes," the loudspeaker blared. Kira checked his ticket to the PLANTs, then began running like the wind for Gate 27, all the way on the other side of the airport terminal. Two minutes later, a gasping-for-breath, sweaty and leg-tired boy slammed his new ZAFT passport at the counter of Gate 27's passenger registration desk. The shocked service representative quickly scanned Kira's passport and boarding pass, then ushered him inside the connecting pathway.

Orb, although banishing Kira, retained some respect of him once being a citizen. They treated him to first-class seats and $100,000 of survival money, enough to last him until his working age. Best of all, to all the customs officers, flight attendants and the average Mr. Smith on the street, Kira was just a rich kid. An extremely rich kid for his age. But all this luxury gave him no extra comfort as he looked out the window of the airplane, watching them fly high above ORB.

* * *

Year EE 213, May 31 

Vesalius Airport, Aprilius-1, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

It was late afternoon in ZAFT when Kira arrived at the Vesalius Airport. The immigrations officer was quite sceptical about his Kira's claims, but he let him go, seeing as ZAFT didn't have laws against minors signing up as residents alone. He silently dragged himself to the baggage claim and watched various briefcases, bags, suitcases and boxes pass by his eyes. As he arrived at the arrivals area, he saw people waving and holding up signs to greet other people. It saddened him that nothing was for him. He was just a stranger, all alone. No one knew who he was. No one was there for him. No one.

Aprilius-1 was larger than most cities on the Aprilius PLANT. It had huge looming towers that shrouded the rest of the city in shadows. The streets were in a grid pattern, very neat and precise. Buildings lined the streets, leaving no space in between except where there were parks. Cars bustled around constantly, and the air was full of chatter and car horns. However, amidst all this hubbub of a city, the air was still clean. ZAFT had very advanced technology in the air pollution reduction area.

Many buildings in the core of Aprilius-1 were old, made when Aprilius first ascended into its position above the Kingdom of Eurasia. They represented years of rebellion and upheaval, until the Supreme Council was formed in EE 180. Before that, all the rest of the world of Abyss knew ZAFT for its bickering. Of course, Kira didn't really get the chance to savour all this information, just skimming through the page from the tourist package he picked up before leaving Vesalius. He looked up at the Council building. Perhaps they would try and help him? He doubted it.

Stopping at a traffic light, Kira looked at the cars. There were sleek, black sports cars, chipper orange cars and large green vans. Even the garbage trucks were nice-looking. Suddenly a car pulled out of the Council building, towing along hundreds of reporters, most likely unintentionally. If you looked carefully enough, you could see a few girls fighting off the reporters, trying to get in front. Kira didn't really understand what they wanted with some old senator until he saw inside the car that stopped by to the left of him at the traffic light.

There was a boy sitting in the car. A man, dressed in a greyish-purple military uniform, sat beside him. It looked as though the man was yelling at the poor driver, presumably to go faster. Kira instantly felt pity for the driver. Judging by the look on the man's face and the boy covering his ears, he could say the man was one who needed anger management. But it was the boy who interested Kira; what was he doing in the Council building while they had a meeting? Surely he wasn't a senator? He looked his own age.

The boy had dark blue hair and a pair of emerald green eyes. He wore a uniform similar to his father's (Kira assumed they were father-son related), except that it was red. To the casual eye he seemed calm, even a little dazed, but in the eyes Kira saw something else, something deeper and darker about him. He didn't know what it was, but Kira also sensed a feeling of loneliness about this boy.

Then the boy turned to look in his direction, and their eyes met. It was as though they could instantly understand each other, like they knew what the other was going through. Feelings of pain, sorrow, anger and hate rushed through Kira. But under all these outside feelings, inside was that feeling that Kira had, that neither of them belonged where they were.

But the traffic light turned green, and before either could ask the other a question, the car drove off into the sea of vehicles. As Kira nearly got trampled by the reporters and the girls, one question remained bouncing off the walls of his head, playing itself like a bad recording tape.

Who was he?

* * *

Well, that's chapter four for you folks who still have enough patience to read this. Athrun debuts! And as for Lacus, she might not appear until chapter seven or eight. So keep waiting, Lacus fans! 

EmbeRin


	5. Diary Entry 01: Cagalli Yula Yamato

The Lone Berserker

Diary Entry 01: Cagalli Yula Yamato

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 213, July 2 

Onogoro, KINGDOM OF ORB

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been a month and two days since Kira left us. It hasn't been the same at all. The house is quiet, mourning still and desolate. The school is all rowdy over the trial. Our group of friends, Tolle, Kuzzey, Sai, Miriallia and I, is silent and bleak. None of us jump around happily anymore, even after the end of school and track and field. Kira's banishment has changed EVERYTHING._

_At home, we try and make it as though nothing ever happened. Mom still puts out a place for Kira at the dinner table, and made his lunch for as long as we went to school. I knew it would make her feel even worse if it was left at home to rot, so I take it to school along with my lunch. Dad still calls for Kira to do his work and pack his bags. It's only me that seems to acknowledge that Kira's gone. _

_Today's the National Day of ORB. The five of us friends headed out to the park, the very park it all started in. We sat down in the grass, waiting for the fireworks to start. Sitting by the edge of the river running through the park, my past self, the self that existed within my body a month and a half ago, when I turned thirteen, saw a reflection in the running water of the present self, possessing the same exterior appearance, but with hollow, soulless eyes. How I have changed since Kira left!_

_Bangs went off, turning heads to the darkened sky. As the patterns of light dazzled my eyes, playing a visual melody of joy, the falling sparks looked like the sorrows of wandering souls that were being showered on us. The song kept on playing in the sky, and sadness continued to rain on me. _

_Kira, since you left, you have dragged us all from the fantasy world we once dwelled into the cold, harsh world of reality. You are gone from us, but we cannot do a thing. The chariot that carried you away has cast us off, leaving us as empty shells of the people we once were, happy, joyful people, and leaving behind only the sadness within our hearts._

_And while the patterns of light flashed by my eyes, a song of tears played in my heart. Each note carried the grief of a person suffering from Kira's absence. Each note struck at my heart greatly. Kira, the person who had cared for me when I hurt. Kira, the person who brought cheer to me when I was sad. Kira, the person I had loved, as a brother, as a friend, and something even more. Kira, look at what has happened to us all… look at what has happened to me.

* * *

_

Part of this chapter was brought on from 'Akatsuki no Kuruma', the fourth ending song. If you read the translation of the lyrics of the song, you'll see the similarities. I just love that song, and the words were sort of running through my head as the idea of this insert unfolded. That, and the fact I was watching fireworks the night I thought of this… take it as a treat I bring to repay my tardiness. Hope you enjoyed it!

EmbeRin


	6. Alpha and Omega

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Five: Alpha and Omega

I feel horrible… I actually had to have someone review me saying to hurry up to spur me on. That's just the worst… here it is, though, Chapter Five!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 213, September 4

Somewhere on Aprilius, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Four months had passed since Kira Yamato, formerly of ORB, was banished to ZAFT.

He hadn't seen that boy again, that boy with the strange green eyes. Kira walked and wandered about Aprilius, but he always went back to the same place, a small copse outside of Aprilius-1. He felt at home with the birds and the trees. Even when he spent a week travelling in the PLANT Maius, he returned. Kira would just walk for miles and miles with no purpose. He slowly grew untrusting of everyone and everything, from food to shelter to even his money. After living a life built up on a web of lies, he could not trust the very genes he had.

Kira didn't know it, but during this period of solitary contemplation on his outlook of life, he was beginning to drive himself mad. He would wake up panting and sweating, saying "Who am I?" again and again. He was beginning to lose all sense of identity. But one early morning he remembered about a particular small parcel shoved into his backpack, given to him by his sister… his sister… his sister! He had a sister – but did she still have a brother?

It appeared to be an ordinary pocket mirror, but Kira saw a miniscule flap. Lifting it, he saw a small screen with a speaker underneath. He took the piece of paper and unrolled it. It was a plain white piece, with some writing in black ink which he recognized to be Cagalli's untidy scrawl:

Kira,

This is a two-way visual speaker. Say the name of the person who has the other one, and the line will be connected. I saw it at the festival in the park and spent over 500 bucks on this, but it was worth it. Just make sure you say my full name and don't let anyone hear you.

Cagalli

Desperately looking for support, Kira said, "Cagalli Yula Yamato!" But no answer came. He yelled her name three more times, but not a sound came from the speaker. _Even my sister doesn't want me anymore… she probably wired the speaker to the government and said it was my fault or something… _Huddling next to a tree, Kira cried.

* * *

Year EE, 213, September 13

Somewhere near Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Kira saw a city ahead.

It was a suburban area of the city called Aprilius-2 on the map of ZAFT Kira retrieved from the airport. He saw many houses and there was a park in the middle, complete with stone paths and curbs, sapling trees, water features and a playground. It seemed peaceful enough, so Kira walked further in, hoping to find a place to restock and possibly, a home. But at the park, there appeared to be a conflict. A boy with green, wavy hair was being picked on by two others, one with straight silver hair about shoulder length, and one with blondish curly hair. Both appeared to be older than their victim. As Kira got closer, he heard their voices.

"Stop it! You're bugging me," the younger boy wailed, trying to shake the other two off. But by the looks of it, he had been enduring it for a really long time. The other two, however, seemed tireless of enjoyment. The smirks on their faces as they pushed and shoved they boy were clear signs of cruel pleasure. They jeered and sneered at him. Kira heard what they said:

"Aww… is poor Nicky scared?" the silver-haired boy said snidely. "Missing his mommy now, is he?"

"Maybe little Nicky can't hit us because he's too weak to," the other said."Hey, Nicky, aren't you gonna get us?"

Kira couldn't take any more of this, and was about to go up to them when another boy approached them. He spoke in low tones, so Kira couldn't hear what he was saying, but judging by the facial expression he saw Kira could tell he was angry. But what really shocked Kira was that boy. He – he looked just like that blue-haired boy with the emerald eyes… no, he WAS.

"So, Athrun's going to help little Nicol again? The weakling and the hotshot… strange combination, don't you think, Dearka?" the silver-haired said to his companion, who sniggered. The curly-haired boy, apparently called Dearka, suddenly put on a false face of instant inspiration. He whispered loudly into the silver-haired boy's ear, obviously intending for the other party to hear. Kira moved in closer.

"Hey, Yzak, why don't we do a two on two match? Me and you against little Nicky and Athrun! We hit two birds with one stone: we humiliate Mr. Top-of-the-class, and we still get to beat up little Nicky. How perfect! And we still have blackmail material!" Dearka glared evilly at Athrun, then continued whispering to Yzak. "You'll be able to claim top spot again, like it was BEFORE that snotty son of the Chairman moved here."

Athrun narrowed his eyes.

"We accept the challenge," he said coldly.

Instantly, Yzak and Dearka ganged up on Nicol. Nicol tried to dodge their blows, but a kick to the head knocked him senseless. Athrun gritted his teeth. He knew Nicol wasn't a fighter, but as he tried to take out one of his attackers, they took Nicol out of the battle. He was in a tough situation.

Athrun tried to think as Yzak and Dearka circled around him, closing in like two sharks circling their prey. He took in deep breaths and tried to calm down. Then as he looked at Dearka's face, he saw him nod. Athrun got into a fighter's stance, anticipating a double attack. He was right, of course. Ducking just in time, Athrun avoided Yzak's kick and Dearka's punch, causing Dearka to get squished in the face. He fell and soon passed out as well. Yzak was furious.

"This has been going on for way too long, Zala!" he yelled in frustration. "It ends now!" With that, he pulled a gun out from behind his back. The barrel was pointed at Athrun. Shocked, Athrun tried to calm Yzak down, but to no avail. Slowly, he backed away, with Yzak closing the gap between them.

Kira didn't know why he wanted to meddle with matters he didn't understand, but using a gun was going way too far. His footsteps were silent until he stood behind Yzak. But suddenly, Yzak pointed the gun at the unconscious Nicol lying on the pavement of the park. When he spoke, his voice was full of grim pleasure.

"On second thought, why don't I make you feel absolutely miserable knowing you couldn't protect your sissy of a friend and then kill you?" Yzak spat. "It'll give me the pleasure of knowing the last thing I hear from you is a cry of dismay before your bloody corpse is delivered to your parents…" He laughed wickedly like a madman had possessed him. "Say goodbye to little Nicky!"

Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Kira gave him a swift punch to the head. He stumbled, and the shot fired into a patch of soil next to Nicol's body. Whirling around, Yzak came face to face with Kira. He was surprised by the unfamiliar cold face that he saw.

"I don't know who you are, but don't you think killing is going too far for a personal vendetta over grades? I mean, isn't there a way you could just be friends? I think that your fellow schoolmate here, lying on the ground, wants to be friends with you. There's already enough fighting in this world we live in, too much exclusion. If we were friendly to each other it wouldn't happen," Kira asked.

"Don't preach to me! You can't be more than a year older than me, and you think you're going to boss me around, stranger? I'll do whatever I want!" But before he could point the gun somewhere else, Kira used a deft wrist flick, while grabbing the gun, to turn the gun over to him. Yzak felt a smooth metal surface touch his forehead.

"Take this piece of advice: you don't want to make me mad. But, I suppose the choice is yours…" the brunette said airily. Yzak could feel the boy's eyeballs burn into his face. He shuddered. This guy wasn't playing around… Yzak raised his hands up in surrender. Kira lowered the gun and returned it to him. Yzak glared at his new-found enemy, then turned and left the park dragging Dearka behind him, leaving Athrun, Kira and the unconscious Nicol.

An awkward silence fell between Athrun and Kira. Although he wore a black jacket with two white clips holding it at his collar and a green shirt underneath along with a pair of black pants, Athrun was still recognizable to Kira. Kira saw Athrun look at him like he was trying to figure him out, like he saw him before (which, if Kira was right, was true). Becoming aware that the other boy saw him staring, Athrun regained his composure.

"Thanks for your help," Athrun said, extending a hand. "My name's Athrun Zala. Have I seen you before?" he asked. His tone was warm and friendly, and the smile on his face was sincere. Kira decided that Athrun just wanted to be friends, and he would need all the friends he could get. He took Athrun's hand in a handshake.

"I'm Kira. You do seem familiar, but I don't think we've met before. Déja vu, perhaps? I'm just wandering around on ZAFT now, trying to find a place to stay. Please don't ask about any more. I'm uncomfortable around that." Athrun nodded in understand. This mysterious boy with lavender eyes made him feel less lonely, and he didn't want to make him feel sad.

"Do you want to stay with me? I mean, if you don't have a place to stay, you could live in Aprilius-2. I could ask my parents and all," Athrun proposed. "It's the least I could do to thank you, and you could go to school with me and Nicol here," he said, gesturing to the boy lying on the ground. "I'm not trying to probe here, but I think you need to go back to a more normal life." He smiled again.

_A normal life… a normal school… normal friends… a normal family… _things he had lost. Unknowingly, Kira's tears poured down his face from his eyes. He seemed to remember who he was, and for the first time since he came to ZAFT, he wanted to put his trust in this green-eyed boy. This person, who helped him to remember his identity, the Kira Yamato everyone knew before that was shoved behind the false, nameless, cruel and ruthless self that was made in his despair. But more importantly, would he be able to live like that again? Would he be able to start over? And leave Milly, Sai, Tolle, Kuzzey, Mother, Father and Cagalli behind him?

CAGALLI!

The single word hit Kira like a brick in the face. He fell on his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Athrun knelt next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. This stranger who he barely knew, he wanted to help him, even though he didn't know why. He just felt that the boy was like him.

After a while Kira stopped crying. He turned to the emerald-eyed boy next to him. "Why… are you helping me?" he whispered.

"I feel like we're in similar situations," Athrun replied. "I want to help."

Just then, the unconscious Nicol woke. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"Thanks, Athrun, I was dead back there… who's your friend there?" he asked. "I have a feeling I should be thanking him instead…"

Kira was taken aback.

"Oh no, I just – "he began saying, but Athrun butted in.

"Kira here just saved BOTH our lives, Nicol, from the mad rampaging Yzak Jule and his accomplice Dearka Elsman," he explained, complete with gestures. "I was just going to ask that, since he doesn't have any place to stay in Aprilius-2, to live with me…" he said. "That is, if it's all right with you, Kira. It'd be nice to have a friend like you around. Or is there somewhere you have to go?"

"I think I'll like it here. It really seems like a nice place. That's if I'm allowed to, of course."

"I could never let you do that!" Nicol exclaimed.

"But Nicol… why not?" Athrun asked the green-haired boy.

"For saving my life, Kira must stay at _my_ house. Taking on more than you can handle is bad for you, Athrun. I know with all the work you're doing at school and the upcoming meeting your father has in Aprilius-1 that you're assisting him with, you still need to introduce Kira around, and even though it's too much I know you would do it anyway. You're always looking slightly pale nowadays, and besides, you shouldn't have to. By helping me, you've already paid your due." He then turned to Kira. "Pardon my rudeness – my name is Nicol Amalfi. It's an honour."

"The pleasure is mine, but please, you can leave the butler-like courtesy. It drives me mad," Kira insisted. Of course, the reaction from both Athrun and Nicol on the request was like an 'it'll never happen' feeling. Athrun sighed, and Nicol smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey, it's what the girls like about Nicol, you know? He's short, cute AND polite…" Athrun nudged Kira and grinned. Obviously Nicol did not enjoy this, as he retorted, "And what about you, 'Mr. All-the-girls-talk-about-me'? Or as Dearka would put it, the 'chick magnet'?" Nicol must've struck home on that comment, as Athrun began showing signs of anger.

"Eh heh… oh, would you look at the time! Kira, we really should start heading over to my house to make sure you can stay! Athrun, you're definitely – uh – welcome to come with us. Now, shall we go?" Nicol said with increasing speed and anxiety while looking at Athrun.

"Uh… Nicol?" Kira said. "Three words for you: RUN FOR IT!"

* * *

Year EE 213, September 13

Amalfi Household, Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Mrs. Amalfi opened up the large oak doors to the Amalfi mansion to see a strange sight: her son, panting and bruised, Lenore Zala's son Athrun attempting to cool down from what appeared to be an anger burst, and a brunette boy with strange purple eyes. Nicol looked up from the ground after panting and smiled.

"Mother, can I talk to you inside?"

Nicol's mother led the three of them through the splendidly decorated halls of the Amalfi home. Kira couldn't help but stare at the lavish trims on the edges of the stairs and ceiling. Nicol motioned for Kira to sit down in one of the couches in the room they had arrived at, presumably the living room.

"Well, apparently Kira saved me from a gunshot today, though I was unconscious at the time, Mother, so I don't know the details, but I'm sure Athrun here can relay the details…" As Athrun retold the story of Kira's timely arrival in the fight, Kira bowed his head in embarrassment. Who knew that taking taekwondo lessons would help?

"Now, Kira doesn't have a place to live right now, so could he stay with us? We have the spare room…" Nicol pleaded. "I know it's irrational to ask of such a favour for a stranger, but I didn't want Athrun to go to the fuss, since he's helped me enough. If not, could I at least earn money back for you after getting an apartment for him?"

"It would be a huge hunour to have the person who saved my son's life to stay with us," Mrs. Amalfi replied. "Please if there is any other request you have to make, I will do everything in my power to repay my debt." She hugged her son in a motherly way. "They constantly bully my son, those two… but at Nicol's insistence, I don't report them…"

"Please, I only ask this small request: Don't report them this time either," Kira said. "If I am to go to school here, no doubt they will be there as well. "I don't want to cause any extra trouble to Nicol or Athrun, after all their help to me. And it doesn't appear wise to try and make a bigger enemy of Yzak than I already have. He seemed particularly infuriated at my interference."

"Very well. That is small payment; are you sure this is all you want?" At Kira's nod she said, "Nicol will lead you up to your room."

He settled down into the large bedroom painted a pale green. The four-poster bed was draped with a royal-looking red satin. Kira laid out the contents of his duffel bag onto the bed. Catching sight of the visual speaker, he held it in his hand. Was he going to be able to finally leave it all behind? Deep inside, he knew he couldn't, so he put it on his bedside table. It was fated to never ring, but neither of the two holding one knew that.

* * *

Year EE 213, September 14

Glenn Elementary School, Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"Class, this is our new student, Kira Yamato."

"Nice to meet you. I hope that we are able to all be friends," Kira said humbly, taking in his surroundings. A plastic sign on the door to the classroom had said 7/8 A, so he assumed this was a split class. He was standing at the front of the rectangular classroom beside the teacher. The teacher's desk was cluttered with papers and books. On the walls were posters and sayings of learning. Bookshelves and cupboards were stocked with books and rain day games. There were four clusters of six desks all around the room where the students sat at.

"Kira, why don't you take the seat next to Yzak? He's the boy with silver hair sitting in the middle there," the teacher said to Kira. Grabbing his notebook, binders and pencilcase that Mrs. Amalfi generously got for him, Kira walked over to the empty desk and put his stuff in. He pulled out a maroon coloured plastic chair with metal legs and sat down. The teacher walked by and gave him a set of textbooks and a schedule. He looked at it, seeing Tuesday first period was Math class.

After the morning anthem and announcements were over, the teacher called for the class's attention.

"Okay, class, today we'll be starting in on place values," the teacher said. "Now, who can tell me…"

Kira took this time to take a better look at who he sat with. He sat at the corner of the group of desks. Next to him was Yzak, the fiery, jealous and temperamental boy, not unlike that certain sibling of his. Across from Yzak sat Dearka. His feet were propped up lazily, and he had a sleazy look on his face. He seemed to be paying more attention to the girls than the lesson. The first thought that passed through his mind was, '_What a playboy…_'

Across from Kira was Nicol. He was listening intently to the teacher's lesson, his chair turned around so he could see the information being written on the board. The other two people at the table were a purple-haired, ponytailed girl and another girl, the latter appearing to be shy and unnoticed. She had shoulder-length hair that was a stunning crimson.

The recess bell rang after second period, and Athrun volunteered to lead Kira around the school so he could know where to go. Just as they were about to go down the stairs to the main floor, Yzak and Dearka caught them in front of the door. With a cry, Yzak hurled his fist at Kira when he was sure no teachers or tattletales were watching. Kira was about to duck when a hand came in front of his face to block the punch. It was Athrun's.

"Instead of getting mad at Kira, you should be thanking him for not reporting you to the police," he said slowly. "For what you did yesterday with the gun, you would have spent quite a lot of time in juvenile hall, I suspect… be grateful that you're still in school."

Gradually, the angry fist fell to Yzak's side. There was a moment of silence between the four of them. Yzak was the first to speak.

"I suppose I owe you an apology… maybe the gun was a little too overboard. And I'm sorry about Nicol too... I won't bug him – as much," he added to the apology. Dearka said the same. "But trust me, Zala – one day I WILL be on top again!" Yzak shook a fist, and they walked off.

"Well, that went well, didn't it?" Athrun commented. "Usually it takes a lot more than that to get Yzak to admit he was in the wrong."

While they passed through the halls, Kira noticed that lots of girls stopped by to chat with Athrun. And while he treated everyone kindly and exchanged a few words with them all, Kira could tell that his new friend was not exactly enjoying being swamped by all this attention.

"Hi, Athrun!" they would squeal, not unlike rabid fangirls.

"Uh… hi," was the usual response.

Every so often one of the girls would ask, "Hey, who's the cutie?" and give a smile and a wink at Kira. He would shyly wave as Athrun introduced him. The girls would giggle and walk off. After about the fifth group of girls, Kira asked Athrun, "How can you stand all this attention? You're constantly bugged by everyone."

"I don't really know," was the reply. "Everyone just does it, and I can't stop it, so after a while I get used to it…"

But Kira knew that there was probably something else behind this, and so he asked Nicol about it during lunch, while Athrun was talking to the teacher.

"Well, part of it has to be because he's the Chairman's son," Nicol said as he took a bite out of a sandwich. "I mean, since the Chairman is the head of ZAFT, being his son is a pretty big thing. But the big thing is because he's so good at everything from track and field to making solutions that it's amazing. People go to him for help on their work, and although he would rather not, he helps them anyway. He's such a nice person people can't help liking him. And even when they're not exactly on good terms with each other, they still admire him – take Yzak, for example. He and Athrun have been at each other's throats since Athrun came three years ago. But they can still work together if they're put in such a scenario… oh, and there's also the fact that all the girls think he's hot," he added. "But being in his position, it's hard for Athrun to make friends with people. All the girls just want to be his girlfriend, and all the guys are either holding him in an extremely revered position like he's a lord or extremely jealous and mad at him. I'm one of the few in between, and he was the one helping me to deal with Yzak and Dearka when I came a year later. See, I skipped a grade, so I should be a grade below you," he explained. "So it was only natural Athrun and I became friends. He does all this work even when he's got a million and one other things bothering him…" Nicol ate the last of his lunch, guzzling it down with some juice.

Kira wondered if Athrun was happy the way he was…

"Well, I go to the music room during lunch recesses," Nicol told Kira. "Do you want to come?" Seeing as he had nothing better to do, Kira tagged along through the blue locker-lined walls of school. Not long after they started their walk to the music room, Athrun joined them. By then, everyone else was already outside on the courts playing ball or chatting in corners.

The music room had two doors, but no windows. Half the classroom was desks while the other half was a clutter of music stands and chairs. Nicol took a flute from the stacks of home-brought instruments and began to play. Kira had never heard anyone with such skill in the instrument. The notes seemed to weave a picture in the air, one of sadness and melancholy.

It made Kira realize how alone he was.

He turned and saw Athrun, staring off into the middle of nowhere like he was longing for something. And Kira wondered if, perhaps, that he and Athrun could help each other out of the lonely boxes they had trapped themselves in. Those green eyes… Kira tried to picture what they looked like when they were happy.

_When was the last time I'd been happy?_ Kira thought to himself. It seemed so long ago, like ORB was an eternity away. It was at the festival… when he was with all his friends, and it appeared that nothing could go wrong. But usually in those cases, something always went wrong.

For some reason, Kira just wanted to be with Cagalli. He wanted to hear her voice, that loud, rambunctious voice that would ring in his ears. He wanted to smell that rough-and-tumble scent that came from her sports-playing. He wanted to see that blonde with the blazing amber eyes. She was his link to the world he once knew, the one he was violently torn out of with no true goodbye. Deep inside, though, he knew that being with her was next to impossible. It was time for him to sever that link. He had to try and erase this ache in his heart and move on.

"Kira? Are you all right?"

He hadn't noticed that the music had stopped.

"The bell just rang, so we have to go," Athrun said as Nicol packed his flute away. Kira walked out with his two new-found friends, hoping that this new life would leave his old worries behind.

* * *

_In the darkness, two blonde men were talking…_

_"Alpha and Omega…" one voice said. "The first and last letters of the Greek alphabet, representing the beginning and the end. Perhaps that phase of his life has ended, but a new and more violent future is what the fates have in store for him… or rather, what we have in store for him, is that correct, Murata Azrael?"_

_"Yes, Rau Le Creuset… let phase two of our plan commence!"

* * *

_

I have to say that I think this chapter was dragged out and just boring… but without it, there would have been a huge logical jump here. And I know it makes no sense either… I struggled with this chapter a lot. But I think it's going to be a lot smoother from here on in. Thanks for the support on this story! I feel like it's so transparent though… and of course this isn't the end… I mean, what about the two evil men? Don't expect any updates before mid-August, but I'll try and write more, I promise (but every time I say stuff like this, it never happens…)!

-EmbeRin


	7. Attack and Escape

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Six: Attack and Escape

Haha! Finally, I have managed to update a story within two weeks of the last update! I suppose I might not update this again for a while, as I have to get to work on my other stories for at least one update… seeing as I half-ditched them.

But for now, enjoy this chapter!

To the reviewers (thanks, first of all):

ritachi – Unfortunately, I had no idea how to introduce Kira in the fight, since Athrun seemed to be holding his own very well. I didn't like the gun part either, and it seemed OOC of Yzak to do something like that, but I needed some sort of dire situation to get Kira involved and meet Athrun again. And Athrun was CUTE? But I do admire your way of making Athrun insane and evil.

Alex Ikari – I updated Chapters 4 and 5 together, but Chapter 6 came quite a while after, if you really needed to know…

Athruns Girl – Whether Cagalli dies is for me to know and you to find out. And if you think my chapters are long, you'll be surprised at the amount some other people write.

And to Jenniyah, Attharun, RVD, XCrimsonAngelX and iris24, thank you for reviewing and waiting! Also, a big thanks to the silent readers – you've been a huge support!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

_It has been three years since Kira Yamato arrived in ZAFT Sky Kingdom's city of Aprilius-2. With the help of his friends Athrun Zala and Nicol Amalfi, Kira quickly settled into his new life. He soon rose to a high level of popularity, gained excellent grades, and attracted his own group of followers (who somehow made an alliance with the current Athrun Zala followers and continued to trail the two around school and irritate them both, most of this group made of squealing girls). He even made peace with archrival Yzak Jule and Dearka Elsman, and had a sort of friend/hate going on between Yzak and Athrun, which was an almost impossible feat. Now, Kira is in grade ten, thinking that he had built himself an almost new identity, but he knew and feared that someday, somehow, his friends would find out about his terrible secret – that he was a berserker.

* * *

_

Year EE 216, September 27

Voltaire Secondary School, Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Kira sat at a table in the school cafeteria, eating his lunch of ham and macaroni while talking with some friends he had been introduced to not long after he had arrived in Aprilius-2, by the names of Shinn Asuka, his sister Mayu Asuka, Lunamaria Hawke and her sister Meyrin Hawke, and Rey Za Burrel. They were in the cafeteria connecting Glenn Elementary and Voltaire Secondary. To avoid being overflowed only the intermediate division of Glenn Elementary were allowed in, whereas the whole of Voltaire Secondary used this cafeteria.

All of his friends present were younger than him, but Kira didn't mind. He was just happy not to be alone. One could say, though, that the group was a very strange assortment of people indeed. Ranging from grades seven to ten, the company was a mixture of hotheads, half-unspeakables, slightly vain and open-hearted people. He was glad he had such a group, but he could never stop wondering about what happened to Athrun and Nicol…

_Year EE 215, October 14_

_Voltaire Secondary School, Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_"Kira…" Athrun had called out to Kira one day at recess. He was with Nicol. Kira looked up from his book, entitled 'The Living and the Dead', to see his two best friends come over. They didn't seem happy… rather, they seemed to be the bearers of bad news. And for Kira, it was._

_"Kira, we're going to join the army," Athrun said first._

_"You're going to WHAT?" Kira exclaimed. He turned to Nicol. "Not you, too?"_

_"Our fathers are in the ZAFT Supreme Council. This is a very hectic time in the council, especially because of what happened at Junius-7…" Nicol explained. Everyone remembered what happened a little more than half a year ago, when terrorists planted several bombs within the city of Junius-7, causing many casualties and decreasing the amount of zephyrite useable to levitate the PLANT. The Earth Alliance was suspected._

_"We have to go… we have no choice. Besides, my mother died while she was in Junius-7 doing presentations on her research… I will get back at those Earth Alliance fools!" Athrun snarled. "We could easily work with them but they insist on taking our technology instead of sharing! They think that ever since the Supreme Council was formed, we haven't been paying our dues to them, the dues to the Earth. The Earth Alliance just wants to take advantage of the environment we are in and experiment with us like guinea pigs! I don't want to fight, but I'm not going to let them do this to us! Do you really think I could live with that? Could I deny my father's call?"_

_"Athrun…" Kira could only whisper._

_"Are-are you going to join the army too, Kira?" Nicol asked him. And to be honest, Kira didn't know either. What was he going to do? He still felt that he had a larger obligation to ORB than to ZAFT, even after being in the PLANTS for over two years. Not being able to answer, Kira remained silent. _

_The next day was the last day of school for Athrun, Nicol, Yzak and Dearka, who also had parents in the Supreme Council. During their last recess together, Athrun pulled Kira to a corner of the field and presented him with a mechanical bird. It was painted green with yellow-tipped metal feathers on its wings. Two small red eyes were on each side of its small head, which also sported a small yellow beak. It opened its beak and the sound "Torii!" came out melodically. _

_"Since we might never see each other again, I wanted to give this to you," Athrun said, so different from the person Kira faced yesterday. "Here, hold out your hands," he told Kira. He did so, and the bird hopped into his hands. It chirped again as Kira held it close to him like it would be blown away._

_"Thank you," Kira said quietly as he marvelled at the little creation._

_"Kira, will you join the army too? Will you come join me and Nicol at the academy?" Athrun persisted._

_"Athrun, I don't want to fight, or to take part in this war, but maybe I will, when the situation changes," Kira answered. "But… we will still be best friends, right?" _

_"Always. I pinky swear," was the answer, then the two hooked their pinky finger on the other's._

"Are you all right, Kira? You seemed dazed," Lunamaria asked worriedly. She had short magenta hair that framed her face. She was an open, friendly person who had the occasional temper flare, more often than not directed at one Shinn Asuka. Her younger sister Meyrin, who was younger by a year, had slightly redder hair, usually up in two pigtails. Sharing the same energy as her sister had, Meyrin also had a vain streak, which usually resulted in a scolding from Lunamaria.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine," Kira reassured her. "Just reminiscing, that's all…" He turned to listen to what everyone else was talking about, which happened to be the ongoing war. ZAFT Supreme Council had declared war the day after the terrorist attack on Junius-7, when it was confirmed that the terrorists were working for the Earth Alliance.

"Hmm… the latest invasion on the PLANT Januarius seems to have failed," Shinn commented as they took a look at the day's papers from The Aprilius Daily, the newspaper serving all of the PLANT Aprilius. Shinn's unruly black hair covered his startling crimson eyes. He was smart and athletic, but he was also rude and quite lacking of self control, making him a very dangerous person to even tease.

"Will the Earth forces attack Aprilius next? Seeing as it is where the Supreme Council is centred…" Mayu wondered out loud. Unlike her brother, Mayu Asuka had long brown hair which was nicely combed. She didn't share the hot temper that her older brother had; rather, it was interesting that the youngest person in their group was the one who kept him in check most of the time. The only other person who did so was Rey Za Burrel.

Often the silent person, Rey spoke quietly and to the point when he did choose to speak. He had long blonde hair which covered his eyes, giving him an extra sense of secrecy and mystery. His undeniable logic often solved disputes, and his calm resistance against Shinn's outbreaks was very admirable indeed.

"I doubt it," Rey chose to say. "Currently the Earth Alliance's air forces are low, especially now that over half their aerial strength was demolished in attempting the assault. I don't think they will attempt to attack the PLANTs again anytime soon. Forcing ZAFT to strengthen their bases on Earth appears to be, at the moment, a better objective." As usual, Rey's explanations left his listeners in complete awe and understanding.

"I get it…" Kira agreed in realization, jumping back into the conversation. "By attacking ZAFT-sympathetic and allied countries on Earth, ZAFT will be forced to send reinforcements to their bases of Carpentaria – " he pointed at a dot around northern Australia on the map they had of the world, " – and Gibraltar," he finished, pointing at another dot placed at the mouth of the Mediterranean Sea. "This will give time for the Earth Forces to regain part of their lost aerial force and launch another attack on the PLANTs…"

"… and even if it fails, they could still try to sneak in more bombs and blow up a PLANT," Shinn continued, unaware of Lunamaria staring… again. More than once, Kira and Shinn have been compared as brothers, with the similar appearance if you excluded hair and eye colour, and the uncanny ability to finish each other's sentences. Even the first time they met, Lunamaria managed to make the connection (LH: "Wow, you look so much alike! Don't you think so, Rey?" RZB: "…" LH: "Not again!").

Immersed in the company of his new friends, Kira could almost feel himself broken off from the cocoon of false truths he once called his home. He was slowly letting go of the past, and although he would never forget his old friends, he tried not to dwell on his happy memories. But despite all the attempts he gave, after every day of going to school, talking with his new friends, going home to eat dinner with Nicol's mother and sister (and occasionally, Mr. Yuri Amalfi, Nicol's father, whenever he could take a break from his Supreme Council work), he would lie in bed and think about that one person: Cagalli. He still couldn't let his foster sister go… in more ways than one.

_Year EE 216, April 19_

_Voltaire Secondary School, Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_Kira noticed that, for the past month, Hoshi, that shy girl with the beautiful red hair, had been tailing him. He did not fail to notice that she stared at him in the classes they did take together (which was about half of them) or that after the periods they didn't take together, she would always manage to be nearby when he exited the classroom, but she never said a word to him. Once, he even asked Lunamaria about it and whether it was a girl thing. _

_"Sometimes, I really do doubt that you're as intelligent as you appear to be, Kira," she said exasperatedly, when he approached her on the subject. "Isn't the answer obvious?"_

_"Eh?" Kira said, ever as clueless._

_Lunamaria only sighed and shrugged her shoulders, resigning to the fact that Kira would always be like that._

_After school, Kira saw Hoshi approach him at his locker. She seemed more quiet and shy than usual, and a red tinge hovered about her cheeks. Kira asked her if anything was wrong. The answer he got was quite unexpected._

_"I… uh… I-I'm in love with you!"_

_"Eh!" Kira really was clueless about his._

_But it wasn't as though Hoshi was mean. She was a shy, but caring person, and she was smart and pretty… yet at the same time, a picture of a certain blonde girl came to mind, and Kira just couldn't let go. Only when Hoshi looked at him, concerned, did Kira realize he was crying. _

_"I… I'm sorry, Hoshi, I'm sorry!" Kira whispered, and left her to stand in the hallway alone._

What was wrong with him? He can't see Cagalli ever again, so what was holding him back from someone else? Why was this memory pulling back at him like he was guilty of deserting her, of ditching her from someone else? He didn't even know if she had moved on… maybe she had someone else, but he was simply dwelling on a memory, and couldn't seem to leave it all behind him. _I can't believe how pathetic I am,_ he would think sadly every time this topic crossed his mind.

At recess, Kira sat on the hill on the west side of the field. It had two trees, one a straight, tall oak, the other a branchy maple. Kira watched the slowly colouring leaves fall and mingle together in the soft autumn breeze and then rise again as the little kids on the other side of the fence that divided the elementary field from the secondary kicked and threw the fallen leaves in the air. He then noticed a person waving at him from the walkway that led down to the nearby river's edge. At first Kira thought the person was waving at someone behind him, but when he realized there was no one behind him and that the person looked oddly familiar, Kira ran over to meet the 15-year old Nicol Amalfi.

"Nicol!" Kira exclaimed happily. "Are you coming to visit? How's life in the army? Where's Athrun?"

But the look on Nicol's tired, unhappy face looked as though he was, yet again, a messenger of bad news. It seemed to say, 'I'm sorry, but I'm not here to visit, life in the army's all right if you don't count Yzak fuming on how Athrun beat him in the latest shooting simulation and Athrun's not coming.' In fact, those were the very words that came out of his mouth. But before Kira could ask another question, Nicol motioned for his silence.

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm part of a squad being sent after you, Kira. It's for some reason I can't explain here, but I can tell you the others in my group are Yzak, Dearka and Athrun. Our orders are to either capture you alive or to return your body dead. And if you're counting on some friendship to keep you alive, trust me… you won't get any from them. Now hurry… you have to get out of here!"

Taking Nicol's word, he ran back to the school, wondering about what Nicol had said: _"If you're counting on some friendship to keep you alive, Kira, trust me… you won't get any from them." _Did that mean… that even Athrun, his best friend, was against him? It didn't matter – Kira promised himself that he was going to get himself out of this mess alive.

He ran over to where Rey sat reading a book. The blonde looked to see his friend Kira panting. He got up and asked, "Is there something wrong, Kira?" Kira tried to say something, but Rey couldn't hear it over the huffing. After Kira had calmed down a little and Rey leant in closer could two words be heard:

"Punch me."

Rey looked at Kira, slightly puzzled, but laid down his book. "Very well, Kira…" he said, trailing off. Before he stuck his fist into Kira's face, he heard his friend say, "Come with me to the office later. I'll explain." Rey nodded, then hurled a swift punch at Kira's cheek. It stung, but there was only going to be a bruise where Rey's fist had connected. They both then left for the office unnoticed, as Rey had such skill to make a soundless punch.

The secretary looked at Kira's cheek as he explained the situation.

"We were playing volleyball when Rey accidentally elbowed me in the cheek while he was getting ready to spike a ball," Kira said fluidly. "It's all right now, but I don't think I'll be able to talk later in the day due to bruising. I was wondering if I had permission to return home for the remainder of the day…"

The secretary asked, "And your name is?"

"Kira. Kira Yamato."

"Well, Kira Yamato, you've been excused for the rest of the day. Go home and get some rest – be careful with that cheek of yours. Why don't you accompany your friend and help him pack up his things?" the secretary said to Rey, giving Kira a better chance to explain things in more privacy, but still omitting several details.

"I've been told by a reliable source that someone is out to capture or kill me for reasons unknown. They're coming, and I'm not going to put anyone else in danger," Kira said. "I have to leave here before they arrive. So I guess I'm going to have to ask you for some help again. Please, don't tell anyone where I'm going. I don't want anyone to follow me."

Rey didn't say anything, but nodded in understanding. Kira ran out the front door of the high school and headed straight for the Amalfi mansion, to plan his next course of action.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

ZAFT Temporary Base, Outskirts of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"The target has been spotted in the vicinity," Nicol reported as he walked back into central base. Around a map of Aprilius-2 sat his three fellow soldiers who had passed with him as part of ZAFT's elite soldiers. They were currently discussing how to acquire the target – in other words, how to capture Kira. Dearka seemed okay with the plan Athrun had outlined, but Yzak appeared reluctant to admit Athrun's plan was better than the one he had, which was what made Athrun the mission leader…

_Year EE 216, September 12_

_ZAFT Military Academy – Maius Branch, Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_"It has been decided that the mission leader of this operation will be…" Commander Rau Le Creuset began, as he looked at the four elite Academy students he had been assigned with, "Athrun Zala." There were various different reactions at this: Dearka snorted, Nicol gave Athrun an encouraging look, Yzak became absolutely furious, and the new mission leader simply said, "Me?" _

_"Athrun, you've been chosen because you have the ability to lead others while under pressure, and because your plan to acquire the target was the best out of the four of you. Since you are the plan's creator, you should be the one to command its execution," the commander gave out the reasons as to why he was chosen, as he could see he wasn't the only one who wanted to know the answer. "Is there something wrong, Yzak?" he coolly asked the hot-headed son of Ezaria Jule. _

_Even Yzak knew better than to openly argue with the commander on his reasoning. Strong, skilled and cunning, almost every month there was a new rumour about Commander Le Creuset's silver mask which covered the top half of his face. This month's favourite to freak the newbies a little was 'The commander has a scar which works like the face of Medusa, the ancient monster from Greek legend, and the commander wears the mask to cover the scar, so that no one gets turned to stone.' They were ridiculous, but they did seem to have some kind of relation to a story that was often passed along as well, making them sound all the more real. Apparently no one dared to ask or to find out by other means what was REALLY behind the mask, as the last person who did, according to a fellow soldier by the name of Miguel Ayman, was found dead in his bed the morning after he allegedly took a look underneath. But the mysterious thing was that there were no marks of injury or struggle… _

_So Yzak smartly kept his mouth shut and shook his head._

_"Right then, I leave command in the mission leader's hands," Le Creuset finished and left the room. Right after he left, Yzak flashed an angry glare at Athrun, who still stood there slightly shocked at his new role, but he did not attack. He merely turned and left the room, ignoring Dearka's "Oi! Yzak!" and walked straight out of the door._

_"Zala, you're a dead man," Dearka commented, and was about to exit the room and follow his friend when Athrun said, "Tell him our meeting to discuss plans will be at 0900 hours tomorrow."_

_"Of course, Zala," was the sarcastic reply. "Like he'd listen to me… especially with the mood you got him in…" Before Athrun could reply, Dearka was out the door._

_Athrun sighed. This was going to be a difficult first mission, indeed…_

The present Athrun Zala also sighed at the memory, wondering how on Earth (pardon the expression) he had managed to keep Yzak under control. In truth, he hadn't done anything but threaten him with a report to Commander Le Creuset reporting his actions, which would mean Yzak's days of being a commander would be reduced to nothing but dust and dreams, and his mother would NOT be pleased.

"Has the information been passed?" he asked, trying to use the same tone of voice the commander often used, but he usually failed, leaving a half-warm, half-cold sound that seemed extremely awkward coming out of his mouth. This time was no exception. Nicol couldn't tell whether he could be sort of chummy at the moment or if Athrun wanted an answer typical of the voice he tried to use.

"Yes," Nicol finally replied, as normally as possible.

"Operation Aprilius-2 Target Capture will commence now!" Athrun declared, finally feeling like he was in control. Yzak, Dearka and Nicol left their small base and went out to their positions, all dressed in military attire.

_Kira…_ Athrun thought as he too left the military trailer (complete with com-screen to ZAFT Military Headquarters, 3-D projection strategy planning map table and one-person cell) that was their base. He didn't want to think that he would have to place his best friend at the mercy of his father, dragging him back all the while in that small prison cell.

_… I'm sorry.

* * *

_

Okay, that's a wrap! About your extra comment, ritachi, on how it would've been nicer to see Kira live with Athrun instead… yes, it would've been nice (I thought about it too), but as you have seen, it would've also been a lot easier to get to Kira and capture him, and that wouldn't exactly be interesting... besides, if Athrun's father wants him, it would be a lot easier for him to be accessed… and the fact that I wanted Nicol to interact a little more, the shy guy.

Anyways, read, review at your pleasure… like I said before on my last chapter, don't expect another chapter till mid-August. At least this was a nice change… an early update… and chapters probably won't be as long as that last one.

-EmbeRin


	8. A Plan in Action

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Seven: A Plan in Action

Yes, this is EmbeRin again! Hello, dear readers and reviewers, I am here with yet another early update, simply because the drive to finish this story was far too strong… so, to thank the reviewers and answer some questions:

First and foremost, the issue of the ROMANCE. At the moment, yes, this does appear to be a KxC (if, on a scale of affection, 1 was indifference and 5 was sibling affection and 10 is full-blown obsession, Kira is at a 7)… HOWEVER, it's for you to find out whether it will remain this way or not! Just a side note… I am a big AxC fan… I hope this has cleared up a few things, and do NOT kill me for this. You have been warned… now, to the individual reviewers:

ritachi – Whoa, you review fast, first of all… second, about the names; there are three reasons I do this strange change between the two: one, the names I use are the ones I more commonly see, so I got used to calling them that. Two, I actually didn't know there was a difference between Miguel in English and Japanese. And three, simply because I thought those names sounded better… the Shinn and Kira thing, well basically I wanted character interaction… I always thought that under the correct circumstances they could get along well… maybe your stories shape your opinions, who knows. And yes, I do admire your way of making Athrun insane, evil, dying and/or extremely sadistic.

RuByMoOn17 – I suppose I could try and fit that somewhere in my plot

Alexs – I'll give you a hint (and this is for everyone else too): You already know why Patrick wants Kira, it just hasn't been told how he'll use Kira…

Alex Ikari – I addressed part of your review above, and as for the Kira and Lacus interaction, well, I suppose it will be interesting…

Susan – Cagalli WILL be coming back into the story, but that's all I'll say… and you might be surprised at why Nicol told Kira…

johnnyrox – I agree with you… but alas, there are things in the plot that will have to happen.

insane – There are no Gundams in this story, unfortunately… and Stellar, Sting and Auel will be making an appearance. As for whether Kira will return to ORB, I'll leave that for you to find out.

crash and burn – Gee, I never thought that Diary Entry 01 was of tear-jerking quality 0.0 Most unfortunately for you, though, Lacus is coming…

To Easy-Company-506101, Attharun, jenniferseedlover, Michiyo Hikari and nami.takami, thanks for reviewing and giving me support! And thanks to the other readers for reading this story! Wow, looks like I made lots of comments…

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

Voltaire Secondary School, Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Lunamaria saw Athrun Zala approach her at afternoon recess, wearing some casual-looking clothing rather than the proper ZAFT uniform. He also seemed very wary of his surroundings, like he was trying not to be followed by any of his screaming followers who might announce his return, even attempting to avoid being seen by wearing a ridiculous-looking beret, like an artist. _Gee, he's lucky he made it that far alive with that kind of a disguise,_ she thought. When Athrun noticed that Lunamaria saw him, he motioned for her silence.

"Ath – "she began, but felt a hand clamp over her mouth. Athrun stood beside her, glaring at her with his green eyes. Lunamaria instantly fell silent.

"Shh!" he whispered warningly. "If you say my name that loudly, I might as well have gone to the PA system and screamed 'Ladies and gentlemen, Athrun Zala has entered the building!'". He let go of Lunamaria's mouth. Then he looked around. "By the way, where are Kira and Rey? They don't seem to be with you…" he asked.

"I don't know… Rey just said he and Kira were playing volleyball and Kira got elbowed really badly in the cheek, so he asked for permission to return home. But the thing is Kira NEVER plays volleyball… he's more of a soccer person. Why are you here, anyways? Are you visiting?" Lunamaria replied. "And you do know that anyone can see through that disguise, right?"

Athrun shrugged. "Disguise was never something I was good at," he said dismissively. "I can only be here for a little while, so I just wanted to say hi to them. Thanks anyways, Lunamaria!" He turned and began to head out of the field when he heard what would lead to disaster: "Nice seeing you again, Athrun!" Lunamaria had called out loud. The words were out of the grade nine girl's mouth before she realized her dreadful mistake.

Before Athrun knew what hit him, a black-haired girl had pounced on him from behind, wrapping her arms around his neck to keep her up. Meer Campbell, the school's leader of the cheerleading squad, said by many to be the hottest girl in Voltaire High, who constantly had a group of guys at her beck and call, all of them always repeating "Meer… Meer… Meer…" like a bunch of lost zombies. Said person, unfortunately, also had an undeniable crush and obsession with one Athrun Zala and was the leader of the Athrun Zala followers (which, surprisingly, still had all its members).

"ATHRUN!" Meer squealed in delight. "How's school in the military? Did you miss me?" She bombarded poor Athrun with questions, with every other question somehow concerning her. Athrun shot a death glare at Lunamaria, who silently mouthed 'I'm sorry!' for accidentally unleashing the 'Thing', as they had dubbed her, onto him. Athrun sighed and used the same strategy as he always did; he tore her arms off his neck to prevent her from further strangling him, took a deep breath for all the lost air, and ran.

"To me, girls!" Meer screamed, and a stampede of Athrun Zala followers got into position. "For Athrun Zala!" they screamed, and began to chase Athrun down the field. Coming in from different places, the girls began to close off his path to safety, forcing Athrun to duck and weave through the people as well. _Well, at least they're being more strategic than before, when they just ran aimlessly,_ Athrun thought. _If I HAD to be liked by the likes of them, at least they're not complete idiots. _But Athrun was running out of options, and this was definitely going to put a wrench in the operation…

The girls had Athrun backed up to the fence, with Meer in front, smiling triumphantly as they closed in. In a desperate attempt, Athrun turned to face the fence and began climbing, with several girls hot on his heels. Halfway up the fence, Athrun took out a tape measure-like instrument and snapped it across the fence. When the girls tried to reach past it, a small shock reached them and sent them hurtling to the ground. Luckily it wasn't a long fall and it left no marks, so Athrun retracted the buzz wire and climbed over the fence to the other side.

VICTORY!

Athrun took in a few gulps of fresh air (the air while being suffocated by girls was simply insufficient) and made a quick getaway, the girls following him alongside the fence for as far as they could, jamming into the corner of the fencing while still screaming, "Athrun! Athrun!" and reaching at him through the fence with their fingers. This definitely reminded the blue-haired boy of ONE thing he liked better in military academy: everyone was far too disciplined and busy to form an Athrun Zala fan club.

Athrun checked his watch. He was going to be late if he didn't get to the Amalfi mansion in five minutes… he picked up his pace and headed for Nicol's home, which was to be their rendezvous point, as outlined in his plan…

_Year EE 216, September 13 _

_Briefing Room C, ZAFT Military Base – Maius Branch, Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_"So what's the plan, Zala?" Dearka began, as everyone sat down around the table. "And your plan better be REALLY good, because if it isn't, we all know what's going to happen," he warned, his eyes looking to the place where a particular Yzak Jule sat, looking extremely pissed. Nicol shuddered at the thought. An angry Yzak was definitely not a good thing, especially for Athrun. It was only their first day after transferring fresh from the academy. They didn't want a commotion to make them the talk of the day…_

_"When we arrive at the PLANT Aprilius we will set up base just outside of Aprilius-2, where the target is currently located. Seeing as Yzak and Dearka aren't completely trusted, Nicol will give some information to our target and thus start the operation. Be careful not to give too much – we don't want our target to know of our reasons, just enough to set him out of the school." _

_"Why don't we just capture him at the school?" Yzak butted in. "we know he's there during that time of day…"_

_"We can't drag him away where everyone will be watching," Athrun replied smoothly. "It would lower the people's trust of ZAFT Military, and naturally people would get suspicious of our actions and even rebel, in the worst case scenario." He activated the 3-D projection, and a green-grid holographic topography of Aprilius-2 and the surrounding forest appeared above the table. _

_"After Nicol has given the information, he will return to base. All of us will then head out to Aprilius-2 in a three-pronged formation, being able to cover all sides since the city is built on the PLANT's dome edge and thus trapping him in the area," Athrun continued, pointing at the map with a metal extendable pointer rod. "Nicol will circle in from the left, Yzak from the right, and Dearka down from our base. I will head for the school at around afternoon recess time and confirm that the target has left the school. In the case that one of us finds the target we will signal the others with these trackers." Athrun passed out PDA-looking devices with a grid on it. Currently there were four dots in one area._

_"If none of us finds the target we will rendezvous at the Amalfi mansion and gather clues to the target's movements. Do not tell anyone of our mission or its nature unless they are of the Supreme Council. Is that clear?" Athrun barked commandingly, although, inside, he felt like there so many things that could and would go wrong…_

_"Yes, I understand!" Nicol said energetically, while Dearka nodded and Yzak, still sitting cross-legged in the chair, said a loud "Hmph!" and left the room, slamming the door loudly behind him. _I'm glad he accepted it,_ Athrun thought, sighing. _Turns out even military life couldn't change him…_ but it was nice to have something constant in the ever-changing times, something to rely on to always be there… especially at a time like now, when even Kira's and his friendship might not be able to keep them together…_

Finally arriving at the Amalfi mansion, Athrun saw Nicol waiting at the doorstep. "So, has Kira left the school?" he asked.

"I obviously made a mistake in the planning," Athrun replied. "I forgot to take into account that the Athrun Zala followers could still be present. We must hurry… the end of school will be soon, and Meer and her group will surely want to launch an assault for my capture – they've grown smarter, but their leader is still a ditz. I'll be counting on that to get me out of here…"

Nicol smiled. Some things never changed…

Suddenly, a 'BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!' rang through the air, disrupting the growing silence. Athrun and Nicol reached for their trackers at the same moment, pulling them out to find two blips on the right side of the screen, slowly moving back and forth up to the large blue dot that was their base…

"Dearka, report!" Athrun said into the tracker, activating the 'speaker' option. "What's going on?"

"We – huff – got him!" Dearka's voice blared out of the small device. It sounded as though he was in a struggle and was exhausted. In the background signs of a fight could be heard, as well as Yzak's distinctive "YAARGH!" that he usually made when fighting. "Hurry… he's – "The speaker line disconnected. The blips were stationary at the moment, in the area that appeared to be the woods behind the Amalfi household.

"Come on, Nicol," Athrun beckoned. "Let's go!"

"Right!"

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

Forest just outside Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Meanwhile, with Yzak and Dearka…

A flying foot knocked the tracker out of Dearka's hands. He turned to see his silver-haired friend battling Kira Yamato, exchanging punch for kick, fist for foot, bruise for scar. Yzak sneered. "It won't be like three years ago, Yamato! This time, I will win the fight!" Kira only kicked out in reply.

"Why do you want me? What are you going to do with me?" Kira asked as he dodged a kick from Dearka, who had jumped into the fray. "Why couldn't you have just summoned me, rather than going to all this trouble of capturing me?" He lashed out at Dearka with a punch, catching him in the gut. Kira felt him go limp over his hand, so he carefully laid him down and stepped aside.

"Do you really think they would tell a frontline soldier like me why they would want a civilian?" Yzak replied, sounding annoyed, but at someone else, "Why don't you ask _Athrun Zala_ when we return to the base? HE probably knows…" _So Athrun's beaten him again, _Kira thought. _Some things really never do change…_ "So just come and you'll be able to find out!" Yzak lunged at Kira, who nimbly ducked. Yzak tumbled, rolling into a tree.

"I don't know what you're going to do, or why you're doing it, but I'm not letting you go without a fight," Kira answered, blocking a kick. They both jumped away from each other.

"HAAAAAAAHHH!" Yzak screamed.

"Nnngh…" Kira grunted.

And the battle wore on…

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

Forest just outside Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"Did you hear that, Athrun?" Nicol asked.

Athrun nodded. He too had heard the yelling coming from their left. Kira and Yzak… fighting each other, destroying the friendship they had all tried so hard to build. The sounds of their fight couldn't say who was winning at the moment, but they couldn't hear anything from Dearka. Did something happen to him? He couldn't tell.

"We're getting close," Athrun commented as he looked at his tracker. One dot remained still while the other jiggled around on his screen. It looked as though Dearka was out of action at the moment. "We have to hurry. It seems that Dearka is in trouble or something. He's not appearing to be helping Yzak, so he may be injured."

"All right," Nicol replied, and headed left through a thicket of trees. Athrun was about to follow him when he saw – no, it wasn't possible… he just THOUGHT he saw a flash of pink. He tore after the flash, trying to find out who or what it was. But by the time he arrived at the place that he saw it, the flash was gone. Then he noticed something.

There, hanging on a branch, was a strand of bright pink hair, the same colour as the flash he saw. Athrun slowly pulled it down and held it in both his hands, like it was a piece of valuable glass that would break the second he let it fall out of his hands. He only knew one person with long, pink hair…

"No, it can't be," Athrun whispered. "It just can't…"

"Is there something wrong, Athrun?" Nicol asked. "You just sort of ran off…"

"Huh?" Athrun said, snapping out of his daydreams. "Oh, nothing… I just thought I saw something, Nicol, nothing of great importance. Let's go, Yzak and Dearka need our help."

"Okay… if you say so…" Nicol replied, not completely convinced.

_So you decided to show yourself… _Athrun thought darkly, holding the piece of long pink hair tightly. _It's about time you returned…

* * *

_

Both Yzak and Kira were getting tired. Yzak had sweat dripping down his short silver hair, and he was breathing heavily. Kira had his head down, both hands on his knees to keep him up. Occasionally a tired punch would be returned with a sloppy block, but neither party was willing to give up, and Dearka was still knocked out. One could say it appeared to be a stalemate, but Yzak still had one more card to play…

In a surprise manoeuvre, Yzak mustered all his energy to rush up to Kira, grab him around the neck, take out his gun and point it at his throat. He smirked. "I've got you right where I want you, Yamato… now come with me quietly back to base, and I won't have to use this gun that is what will decide whether you're alive or dead in a minute's time."

"Resorting to guns again, Yzak?" Kira answered, grinning despite his situation. "Just like old times…"

"Well, I wouldn't say it was a cowardly move," Yzak said, surprising Kira. _Usually he would be extremely pissed at the moment…_ "I'm merely taking advantage of my resources for the mission's sake… and since I have permission to use this gun and the mission's been cleared by the Supreme Council itself, I'd consider your life to be in my hands."

_It's either they take me to do something, most likely something dangerous and possibly life-threatening, or I die in a minute,_ Kira thought with a false sense of cheer, trying to lift his spirits up. _As the saying goes, between a rock and a hard place…_ Time slowly ticked by, with not a sound except the panting of the two combatants. The forest suddenly seemed eerily silent and menacing for the boy threatened with death.

"The countdown begins," Yzak commented quietly. "Ten…"

Kira thought back on his life. Him finding out he was a Berserker… the life he had before he got banished from ORB…

"Nine…"

All of his old friends, Miriallia, Tolle, Sai, Kuzzey…

"Eight…"

Him coming to ZAFT Sky Kingdom and wandering around, lost, homeless and alone…

"Seven…"

His very first encounter with Athrun, seeing him at the intersection in Aprilius-1…

"Six…"

His involvement with Yzak, Dearka, Athrun, Nicol and the gun three years ago…

"Five…"

His first day at Glenn Elementary, and meeting new friends…

"Four…"

The day Athrun and Nicol, and Athrun gave him Torii…

"Three…"

His parents back in ORB, who raised him…

"Two…"

The most important person in his life – Cagalli…

"One…"

Kira couldn't take it, the thought of dying, and was about to surrender to Yzak when a large baseball bat came out of the shadows and hit Yzak soundly on the head, catching both Yzak and Kira in surprise. The gun fell out of the rookie soldier's hands as he fell unconscious from the blow. Rubbing the part where the cool metal had touched his neck, Kira bent down and took the very gun he had been threatened with mere seconds ago. Kira turned to thank the person who had saved him, but froze when he saw her.

His rescuer, a girl around his age, had bright eyes that shone with kindness and sincerity. She had a happy, chipper look despite what just happened, and there was an aura around her that could make anyone within ten feet of her smile with joy. But the most noticeable thing about her was her long, wavy, flowing hair… that was PINK. Never, not once in his life, had Kira ever seen anyone with pink hair…

"Come, we have to hurry," the girl told Kira, giving him a hand. "It looks as though one of them found me as I came here… it's lucky I wasn't too late." The girl wore a white dress with pale pink triangles along the collar, with a purple cloak over the top. But who WAS she? How did she know he would be attacked? And why was she helping him?

"Wait, how did you –?"

"We don't have time! Please, I'll explain after, when we're safe from the people chasing you," she cut him off urgently. Suddenly, a noise blared out from a strange device that was in Yzak's belt. "Yzak, can you hear me? Come in, Yzak…" it said.

"Oh, no… they've got trackers! We have to hurry, or they'll arrive here soon!" Seeing as he had no choice but to trust her, Kira took her hand and she led him out of the forest, but not before Kira left a note for whoever was going to find the knocked out Yzak and Dearka.

He said he was gong to get out of this alive, for everything he had left behind, and he just put his life at the mercy of a stranger. _That was smart of me…

* * *

_

CRACK!

Athrun was sure that was no twig that he had stepped on – it sounded more like something had been cracked over someone's head. Ahead of him, Nicol also stopped and checked his tracker. His eyes widened in surprise at what he saw.

"Athrun, Yzak's not moving, either!" he reported. "It's possible something happened to him… we're almost there!" Nicol tried contacting Yzak. "Yzak, can you hear me? Come in, Yzak…" But no response came. He tried again with Dearka, but again, there was no answer from the tracker.

"We should go," Athrun decided. "It's very likely the target has escaped from Yzak and Dearka… we shouldn't underestimate Kira."

The two comrades rushed through the brambles and bushes, not caring if they got cut by a protruding branch. When they could see a small clearing, they ducked behind a tree and peeked out at where the tracker said their other two teammates were. Scratched in several places, clothes torn at the edges and extremely dirty, Athrun and Nicol were greeted with the bodies of Yzak and Dearka, faces flat on the ground, appearing to be unconscious.

"Yzak! Dearka! Are you all right?" Nicol exclaimed, running up to the still figure of Tad Elsman's son.

"Nicol, be careful, there could be traps…" Athrun warned. He looked around the small clearing for clues as to where Kira could have headed. Walking over to where Yzak lay, he saw not one, but two pairs of footprints in the dirt. He also noticed that Yzak's gun wasn't in its holster and was nowhere to be seen. And nearby, caught on a twig, was another long strand of pink hair, identical to the one he held in his hand.

Something else caught Athrun's eye: a small piece of white paper. It wasn't dirty, meaning that it had only been dropped recently, and it didn't belong to either Yzak or Dearka, because ZAFT Military papers were decorated with the ZAFT insignia and had a black, blue and red border. No, this was Kira's… Athrun confirmed that fact when he picked it up and flipped it over, seeing thin, loopy writing that he knew to be of his best friend's hand. It said:

Tell Athrun Zala to go to the place where Torii lies.

Athrun looked again at the strand of hair, then told Nicol to take care of Yzak and Dearka until they became conscious and return to base.

"But Athrun, what about you?"

"I'm going to do some research for trails."

Nicol seemed concerned, but seeing as Athrun was the mission leader, he couldn't object. He wordlessly nodded and set to treating Dearka, opening the small First Aid kit. Athrun turned and walked in the direction of the base, clutching the paper in one hand, and the strand of pink hair in the other.

_It seems you've chosen to fight on Kira's side… I should have known, _Athrun thought as he parted bushes and manoeuvred around branches. _It's been a long time since we last met, hasn't it…

* * *

_

The strange girl led Kira all the way to the edge of the forest and stopped. "I think we're out of range for now, she said, panting, as she sat down to rest. The pale autumn wind blew around her pink hair, swirling it around her like a long ribbon. Kira didn't have time to notice before, but his saviour was very beautiful…

"Who are you?" he asked.

The girl smiled.

"I am…"

* * *

_...Lacus Clyne.

* * *

_

Another chapter done… if I'm really lucky I'll be able to actually finish this story before the end of summer, but I'll be taking a one-week break off the computer to write and write and write, so the next chapter may be a little late. I think this story is starting to spin out of my control, so forgive me if the later parts sound very strange and senseless! Anyways, thank you for reading (and reviewing, if you plan to do that) and to all my reviewers, thank you for supporting (or whatever you think of it) this story!

-EmbeRin


	9. Aligned Paths

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Eight: Aligned Paths

Dear readers and reviewers, EmbeRin is back again! Thank you to Michiyo Hikari, ritachi, crash and burn, karone-sakura, Susan, RuByMoOn17, XCrimsonAngelX, ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice, jenniferseedlover, Easy-Company-506/101, yuffiegal23, silverkaze013 and birdie101 for reviewing!

Thanks for the support you've all been giving me… I'm glad you liked it! And to crash and burn: I'd appreciate it if you told me why it sucked, but if the only answer you have is 'Lacus is in it' then don't bother. And yes, I read things too deep. Hopefully any other questions are addressed in the following two chapters – they reveal a lot…

P.S. Pay attention to the dates!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 26 

Yamato Household, Onogoro, KINGDOM OF ORB

Cagalli sat at the living room table, trying to write a letter to her parents.

She couldn't take it any longer. She had been trying to call Kira with the visual speaker for three years now, and she never, not once, got so much as a hello. There were days when she would spend days just staring at the thing, waiting for it to ring, only stopping for meals. Sometimes all her friends would come over and spend some time with her, trying to help her move on, but it never worked. Cagalli still thought of what became of her brother, after all this time.

So she had been saving money for a long time, trying to get a ticket for a shuttle to the PLANTs. And now that she had it and a lot of extra money to live on, she could try and find Kira. She didn't know how and she didn't know where and she didn't know what to look for… Cagalli only knew that she had to see him one more time.

But how was she going to tell her parents?

She had a pencil in her right hand and a piece of paper in front of her, but she just couldn't think of a way to say just how much she wanted to see Kira… she knew that it would remind them that he was gone, and Cagalli couldn't bear to do that. Deep inside her, though, she knew that she had to. So by the light of the sun's early rays, she began to compose her letter. After a few minutes she set down the pencil and read her work:

Mom, Dad,

I'm sorry it's so sudden. But I have to see him just once more.

I'm sixteen. I can do this. And I promise I will return.

Cagalli

Cagalli wasn't the best at vaguely saying things, being the type to just come out and express herself without the use of underlying meanings, codes or secret messages. But should the government stop by and find this note, it could have several different meanings, depending on the information given to them by her parents. Thinking that it would be sufficient, Cagalli left the small note of apology on the table, gathered her backpack of belongings she had packed for the trip, and quietly left the house of the Yamatos, the door making only a small 'click' as it closed.

* * *

"Lacus Clyne…" Kira whispered. "The daughter of Siegel Clyne, who was the chairman of ZAFT Supreme Council before Patrick Zala… attempted to pacify the citizens with her 'songs of peace'… when finding out plans of mass attack she escaped from the Supreme Council Headquarters with the plans, causing the PLANTs to go into chaos. She hasn't been found since…" 

"Until now," Lacus finished, merely smiling at all the comments made. "I suppose I should tell you more information as to what I'm doing…" She motioned for Kira to have a seat beside in the field of grass that lay beyond the deciduous forest surrounding Aprilius-2. She sighed and began to tell her tale of why she went against her homeland.

"My father and I agree that the Supreme Council is becoming far too hostile towards the Earth, even neutral kingdoms, such as the Kingdom of Scandinavia and the Kingdom of ORB, which I understand was your home before you came to ZAFT," she began. "I'll explain how I know so much about you later, but for now I'll tell you of the council's current condition," Lacus said at Kira's surprised look when she mentioned ORB.

"The Supreme Council is made of mostly three classifications of members: Radicals, Moderates and Neutrals. Radicals aim for major change, with strong ideals and sometimes radical plans as the name suggests. Moderates aren't as extreme to their thoughts and ideals. Then there are some Neutrals, who don't completely side with another member's ideals. Patrick Zala, the current chairman, is a Radical who wants everyone on Earth to be wiped out. Some members do agree with him, remembering the tragedy of Junius-7, but there are those, like my father, who don't think that total annihilation is necessary."

"How does ANY of this concern me?" Kira asked, thinking that Lacus was merely stalling him for someone to trap him. "I don't see the connection…"

"To fulfill his dreams, Patrick Zala needs a secret, strong weapon. They planned on using a large cannon codenamed GENESIS in the beginning, but calculations proved that GENESIS was too strong, which would destroy the PLANTs as well. But then, he remembered that ORB had brought someone to ZAFT three years ago, and he realized that this person could be the turning point in the war. I think you can guess now why they want you, Kira…"

"Don't tell me… they want to use my genetic code and alter soldiers to have the Berserker code?" Kira said, slowly realizing the importance and danger involved. "Since I'm currently the only known and most easily accessible Berserker, they chose me as their target, right?" Lacus nodded. "That still doesn't explain how you know all this…"

"I have connections, in both the military and political areas. I use those to gain my information. The reason I don't want you captured is because I believe sheer force will not get us a lasting peace. And I don't want anyone else to get hurt in the process, especially the innocent who haven't done anything wrong." She smiled. "So I'll do anything I can to stop this war."

"Even if it means going against your own nation?"

"If I must."

The sheer determination and courage that shone in the pink-haired girl's eyes reminded Kira of Cagalli. Although Lacus didn't appear to be bold or brash like his sister, she had a calmer undertone of strength that was admirable. Appearance-wise, she was stunning; her bangs held up on one side with a golden clip, leaving the rest of her long tresses to flow. Kira started to think of how nice her curves were… _no, I can't be thinking like this, _he reprimanded himself. _I promised myself to Cagalli… what if I let her down? Besides, I know that I still need her… she was why I'm in this fight to live. She's my support when I need it. Even if she's not there, I can think of her and everything would be fine. That's why I can't have these feelings towards this stranger I barely know in person!_

Lacus looked at Kira, concerned.

"Is there something wrong, Kira?" she asked with her gentle, flowing voice.

"Huh? No, it's nothing…" he said, trying to shrug the topic off, although in his mind he still thought of his blonde-haired foster sister. Even if Lacus knew or found out about this he couldn't talk to her, someone who was so easy to talk to. Besides, Lacus… she seemed strange, in the way that she seemed so confident in what she was doing and fully believed in it. Kira, he still had doubts in himself as to why he wasn't helping the nation that took him in when he was lost and alone. Was it for the better?

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

En route back to ZAFT temporary base outside of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Athrun was not in a good mood. His best friend had escaped with the traitor to ZAFT, the one and only Lacus Clyne… to think he had once thought of her as a sweet, innocent girl. How wrong he was! How long HAD it been since they last saw each other? Ah, yes. It was four years ago…

_Year EE 212, November 27_

_Clyne Aprilius Mansion, Aprilius-1, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_"Lacus… are you leaving now?" a twelve-year old Athrun Zala said. He wore a shirt of pale blue with a white collar, and black pants. He was talking to a young girl about his age, who had a pink head of hair and a matching pink dress. Anyone could recognize that she was the girl crowned the 'Pink Princess', Lacus Clyne. _

_"Yes… it is sad, but I have to go back to the PLANT September… it's for four years, but I'll try to visit, okay?" Seeing the glum look on Athrun's face, she tried to make him smile. "Oh, don't worry, Athrun… I just know that every time I look at the Haros you made me, I will think of you and how caring you are… I could never forget about a friend!" she reassured him with her soft voice. _

_Athrun was still uncertain. _

_"But now I won't have anyone to play with. You were always my only friend… everyone else just admires me for what I do, or who I am. Even if they wanted to be my friend, it's only to get some sort of connection to Father." He sighed. "But you will send letters and stuff, right?" Lacus nodded._

_"Athrun, we will ALWAYS be friends!" she exclaimed, smiling. _

_"Yeah…" was the slow reply. _

Lacus had once been his friend, in a time when he had been alone and secluded from other kids his age, just because he was the son of a very strong politician who was the prime selection for Supreme Council chairman in the upcoming election. She had comforted him when he felt lonely, and in this girl who was gentle, sweet and kind, Athrun found someone like him, excluded for who they were in that way when everyone included you for influential reasons. Both of them, happy that they weren't alone anymore, quickly became friends.

But the longer Lacus had gone, the weaker their bond seemed to get. Athrun hadn't gotten a single letter from her, no visits, and no other things that seemed to signify that she still remembered him. It was though she had broken her word that they would be friends, and that thought left Athrun broken in spirit, making him more subjective to his father's whims. The Athrun Zala that was not an advocate of war became war's pawn.

Of course, Athrun wasn't aware of this. He only knew that Lacus had lied, and he had fallen for her innocent looks and sweet talk. Lied, and betrayed both his and her home, first by leaving with all copies of the plan to attack the Earth Alliance, Operation Spitbreak, then helping the person he was supposed to capture escape from them. That was a reason he hated her.

But there was another reason he hated Lacus Clyne.

As much as he wanted to, Athrun couldn't think of trying to kill Lacus. Even after all those years, after the betrayal and mistrust, deep inside his heart he wished that he and Lacus were still good friends. For some reason, he just couldn't HATE her like his father had repeatedly told him to. He… it was like he had fallen for her. But that couldn't happen! She was the enemy now. And all enemies had to be defeated… he couldn't afford to trust her again, especially after how he had been lied to and treated like a toy! And yet, there was that nagging feeling that held him back, that feeling of caring and sincerity, which said that within the depths of his soul he wanted to be with her.

It was as though Athrun had been reduced to a mere shell of his former self, with no control over his actions, and barely any emotion, other than a cold, hard stare. He treated this feeling that he had as merely a hindrance to the mission that could potentially end up killing himself or his fellow soldiers. Even when that little spark of what he once was flared up and insisted he was in love with her, it never caught flame in the dampened walls of his cavernous heart. _Besides, _he thought,_ even if that were true – I know she will never like me that way. Never. If she had loved me she would have tried to give me some sort of response to me after all those years… but in any case, she is the enemy now. I fell for it, and so now I will have to treat her as such. _

His cool, calm and somewhat usual, old self was now only a façade to his conflicting selves inside, because Athrun Zala knew he was going to have to make that choice sooner or later, the choice of submitting to either his father's killing ways or what others would perceive as his feelings of love to Lacus Clyne.

Lacus… it was all because of her.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

Road from Aprilius-1 to Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

A lone figure could be seen walking down a road stretching between the two major cities of the PLANT Aprilius. She didn't appear orientated in the PLANTs, and she had nothing but a backpack on her back. Her messy blonde hair didn't look like it had been combed recently, but a pair of strong amber eyes shone beneath it. There was no denying it; Cagalli Yula Yamato had entered ZAFT Sky Kingdom.

One glance at Aprilius-1 said to Cagalli that she would never find Kira there. It wasn't like Kira to want to stay in such a metropolitan place. He would want to go somewhere more of a suburban area, with parks and the calm of the outside. So she walked out of the 100 percent urban city and went to Aprilius-2. It was a very strange contrast indeed when she left Aprilius-1; one second she was next to towering skyscrapers, the next she was walking alongside fields. The border between the two was so abrupt, even she felt uneasy there.

Seconds passed into minutes, which then dragged to hours. Every so often, Cagalli would sit down in the fields next to the road, which stuck out like a sore thumb amidst all the vegetation. For lunch, she opened her backpack and took out a slice of bread and some jerky, drinking out of a water bottle. It wasn't until late afternoon that she began to see signs of a city.

From a distance, Cagalli could tell that it was a calm, tranquil place. Aprilis-2 was surrounded with forest, and a river ran through it. There werew a few houses and some large, regal-looking mansions. But as Cagalli walked closer, she noticed a strange vehicle parked in the field in front of her. What was a large truck doing there?

Being naturally curious, Cagalli approached the truck-like vehicle and snuck around. And soon enough, she discovered a symbol on the side of the truck. It was a very familiar sign, a Z-shape that almost looked like an hourglass. In the middle of it was a blue star-like burst, and around it like an orbiting ring were the worlds 'Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty'… and the words 'MILITARY' were underneath the Z in small but bold lettering.

This was a ZAFT Military truck? Maybe their database had info on where Kira was… Cagalli went up to the truck front, where the door was. In the keyhole was a small key, next to a number pad. A small green light flashed above the keypad, while a red one flashed above the keyhole. It was probably a security precaution… but did green mean unlocked, or was it a special military code?

Taking her chances, Cagalli grabbed the key and twisted it in the hole swiftly. The light on top of the keyhole changed from red to green, and the door automatically swung open. _That was just lucky,_ she thought, extremely relieved it worked. Very cautiously, Cagalli stepped inside and opened the door leading to the truck's interior. She told herself that she wouldn't stay long, since there might have been traps.

She was surprised at the luxurious yet simple look. A table sat in the middle, with several buttons along the side. Cagalli assumed it was a strategy discussion table. For simple-looking chairs were rooted around the table, one on each side. On the wall appeared to be a screen, possibly a connection to Headquarters. And a larger screen on another wall was situated above a large keyboard. But what caught Cagalli's attention was the small jail cell in the back. It looked so foreboding and lonely.

Then, she saw a file on top of all the other things on the table labelled 'Operation Aprilius-2 Target Capture'. _Well, that explains why they're here…_ Cagalli slowly opened the file, getting a look at the picture on the top. She gasped and began to slowly back away from the table, the only words able to come of her mouth being, "No… no… no…" She bumped into the wall behind her, unknowingly pushing a button on the keyboard.

_They're after Kira… _was all she could think of.

_No…

* * *

_

Year EE 216, September 27

Fields lining Aprilius-2 forest, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"I'm going back to meet Athrun."

Kira stood up. He turned to face the forest of falling leaves of red, yellow, brown and orange that gathered into small piles at the bottoms of treas. It stood tall behind the field of rushing, swaying grass that he stood in. The lone standing figure, with his short brown hair and determined lavender eyes hid the scared sixteen-year old inside, the indecisive, trembling soul that was full or uncertainty and despair. But he was going to take a leaf out of Lacus Clyne's book, and believe in his path no matter what it may be.

"I left a note for Athrun to meet me somewhere. I just want to find out more about why he's doing this. And now, I'm ready, because I know where to go and why I'm doing it, but I just don't know whether this is right…" he said. Then he felt a soft hand hold his. He blushed a little, and he was glad that he was turned around.

"As long as you pick a choice, and follow through with your heart, then everything will be all right. If you believe the path you have chosen is the right one, it will be the right one for you. Even if it turns out to be wrong, if you acknowledge and do something about that, then you will be right." Lacus replied. "You are a kind person… I can tell by the look in your eyes. I know you don't want to fight. Just pick whatever you believe is true to your heart." She stood up to stand beside Kira. "If it's all right with you, could I accompany you, Mr. Yamato? I suppose I owe Athrun an explanation as well…"

"You – you know Athrun Zala?" Kira asked, surprised. He never mentioned him knowing the Pink Princess…

"It was four years ago when we last met, but we were good friends. Unfortunately, I had to leave, and I never returned," Lacus answered, sounding sort of… remorseful? "I never even sent him a letter in the last four years, because of all the work that I had to do and I feel that I must apologize…" She bowed her head. "Although it may be far too late."

"It's never too late to correct a mistake," Kira said, trying to sound positive. "Don't worry – the Athrun I know would understand." Lacus hesitantly agreed. But Kira, too, was worried.

_The question is, is he still the same Athrun I know?

* * *

_

Year EE 216, September 27

En route back to ZAFT temporary base outside of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

A small 'BEEP' sound was being issued out of Athrun's tracker. _What now?_ he thought irritably as he pulled out the small black device, widening his eyes in horror at what it displayed. He quickly placed back the trackter on his belt and began running as fast as he could toward the base, soon emerging from the forest into the field of grass.

Approaching the base, he saw that the key had been left in the keyhole. It looks like one was stupid enough to leave it in… but that didn't explain how the spy got past the keypad… Athrun tried to enter his ID code to get in: 285002. But he accidentally pushed the last 2 as a 3. Nonetheless, the red light turned green and the door silently opened. _The thing's broken?_ he thought disbelievingly. He tried again, this time pushing the 1 six times. The door still opened. _You have got to be kidding me…_

Drawing out a sharp steel knife from its sheath, Athrun readied himself by putting the knife in front of him in a cautious stance, quietly stepping into the vehicle and opening the door inside. He was surprised at who the invader inside the military truck was.

There was a blonde girl sitting at the table, poring over a file she had found on the desk. Upon closer inspection it appeared she was reading their mission briefing. But the thing was, did this person know Kira? If that were the case he could be in grave danger… _well, I suppose I'll find out sooner or later, _Athrun thought grimly, determined as he gripped his blade tighter and sneaked behind the intruder, who still wasn't aware of his presence, she was so absorbed into reading the file.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27 

ZAFT Temporary Base, Outskirts of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

_Kira Yamato… sixteen years of age. Date of birth: May 18, EE 200… objective: capture him and return to base with him alive, if not possible, kill… _Cagalli read silently. This couldn't be happening… they wanted Kira because of his genetic code… she had to find him and tell him about this! _Where did they put his address on the paper?_

But just as she found it and was about to leave, the edge of a sharp knife kissed her throat for the second time in her life. She froze.

"If you value your life, I suggest you freeze and surrender right now," a cold, calculating voice said dangerously behind her. Cagalli didn't dare turn around to see who. Her experience in this situation told her that she was subject to anything – including death. And her captor didn't sound like he was about to let her go.

* * *

Athrun called up the tracking screen on the computer. Kira had told him to meet where Torii lay, knowing that only he knew the programming code. So he recalled Torii's code and entered it into the box under the grid map, pushing the 'ENTER' button. A screen saying 'Locating… please wait' popped up on the monitor. As he took a seat in one of the four chairs, he noticed that the girl, whose backpack he had confiscated and who he had locked in the small cell, was watching the screen very intently. 

"What's so interesting?" he suddenly turned to her and abruptly asked. "Surely this doesn't concern anything with you?" The girl fumed and promptly turned around to face the wall. Athrun turned back to the screen. This girl… she was very interesting indeed. The fact that she actually had the nerve to sneak into a ZAFT Military Base… yet she readily gave in to his threat. What was her motive? He had to find out.

There was silence between the two for a few moments. Neither of them said a word, the girl staring at the wall, her back to him, him quietly watching the screen. The silence was broken when the computer let out an alarm signal telling them both that the target had been found. Athrun checked the coordinates on the computer and was about to leave when he heard a voice. It was merely a whisper, but Athrun managed to pick out the words:

"… Yamato."

_Who said that? _Athrun listened again.

"Kira Yamato."

_There it was again…_ Athrun slowly crept over to the other person present – the girl. He saw that she was holding a small device in her hand, repeating his best friend's name. _How does she know Kira?_ Walking up to the cell, he drew his gun and pointed it between the bars of the prison at her head. Becoming aware of another's presence, the strange blonde stopped talking.

"Hand it over," Athrun demanded. As the girl surrendered her strange machine, he asked, "And how do you know Kira Yamato?"

"What the heck do you plan to do to my bro – " she began as she yelled at him, then stopped mid-word.

"Bro… ther?" Athrun probed. "That explains how you know him. Kira has a sister? Well, he never told me that…" he said lightly, an attempt to hide his true emotions, that myriad of feelings that exploded when he saw her, confusion mixing in at her statement… but those feelings were only a strange burst of feelings his hormones produced that had nothing but an artificial reaction. It wasn't what they called love at first sight, or was it? _No, _his mind insisted. _Love has already betrayed you once. It won't hesitate to do it again, and you know it. Besides, what else is she hiding from you that you should know? She is obviously not your ally… _

But he didn't want to believe it! He wanted to believe that it would turn out all right. That small part of himself argued persistently with his mind. However, his mind didn't give in without a fight either… _Even if you wanted to believe that, though, isn't the simple action of this thing called 'love' bound right now by the ropes of duty? Whether it is Lacus Clyne, who you've known for years, or that blonde girl who you've just met, they're both not on your side. As a soldier, 'love', 'affection' or 'attraction' would only be in your way, right?_ Athrun really wanted to deny it, but thinking that this feeling was just a temporary thing, he tried to shrug it off.

"Well, that's a story for another time now, isn't it?" Athrun said in an attempt to dismiss the topic swimming in his mind, but also in anticipation of a question from the blonde girl about his remark earlier. Leaving the base after taking a last look at the computer screen, he had even more doubts racing around in his mind than he ever did before he met that strange girl.

* * *

Cagalli sat glumly in the small mini-prison located at the end of the truck. How could she let herself get into this mess? She was trapped inside a military base, at the whim of a boy her own age with a gun and knife! Worst of all, she didn't know whether Kira was safe. Did he know that those people wanted him? 

Her thoughts wandered over to her captor, that boy with the raven hair and green eyes. He had said that Kira never told him she existed, so did that mean he knew Kira? In that case, why was he trying to catch someone who could be his friend? Didn't he have any sort of remorse or sadness? He spoke of the topic so lightly, like it didn't matter anymore, like he had lost all his will to fight against it.

Cagalli could sympathize. She had changed so much since Kira left, from the fiery, argumentative girl to an almost non-resistant zombie. But, she wondered, who had left him? It was as though he had a double dose of the down in the dumps feeling, but he didn't seem the type to want pity.

At the same time, though, she thought of how – how could she put it? – HANDSOME he looked. The dark blue hair gracefully framed his face, complementing his emerald green eyes, the kind someone could just sink into and never return. She imagined his face with a smile. It seemed to fit so well…

_Hold on, Cagalli! _her mind screamed. _What about Kira?_

But to be honest, Cagalli's feelings for Kira, they seemed to be fading. She still loved him, but she had always thought that he had probably let go and found someone else, even if she hadn't, and that ate away at it. She still cared, but she was concerned now more out of sisterly relationship. As long as Kira was happy, even with someone else, she concluded, she would be too.

However, it still made her guilty, though, when she thought like this about another guy, like it dishonoured Kira. So even though several boys had already asked her out, she always refused, just for the sake of his memory. This time was no exception to her guilt. Just her thoughts were enough to make her feel ashamed, and usually she never thought like that about that person ever again.

Why was it, then, that her heart still wanted to be with that green-eyed boy?

* * *

I felt like I rushed the end part there, with Athrun's and Cagalli's thoughts about each other, so I tried to make excuses for both of them… but romance was never really my genre. Well, as they say, practise makes perfect, or in my case, practise will make you only a tiny fraction better… 

This chapter was supposed to be one chapter with the next, but it ended up being so long, so I had to split it. I think this is my longest chapter yet! -whee- Anyways, read, review at your leisure and have a nice day!

-EmbeRin


	10. Aimless Anger

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Nine: Aimless Anger

Okay, since I've heard about this new rule against authors answering reviews in chapters on I have decided to create a blog where I will answer your reviews individually. The URL will be placed in my profile, so check that out if you want. I have a big announcement there, so be sure to check that out…

Off to Chapter Nine! And I'm awfully sorry for making readers wait – I went through a phase of writer's block doing this chapter.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 27

Forest outside of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"ZALA, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Yzak Jule's angry voice rang through the speaker on the black tracker on Athrun's belt as he was walking towards the appointed meeting place that Kira had made. Athrun smiled; if Yzak was able to yell, it was usually a good sign that he was doing well. They had obviously seen the girl in the prison; actually, he could hear some background yelling in that connection. The voices sounded a lot like the girl and Dearka trying to calm her down…

"Ah, Yzak – it seems you've stumbled upon our prisoner," Athrun replied, slightly amused. He checked their location on the tracker. All three of the other dots were located at base. "So, tell me… how is she faring? Are you having any troubles at the moment? Is your head feeling better?" he asked, as though he were trying to make light conversation.

"The trouble is that YOU, Zala, didn't tell us about this, and the second we step in we get a huge long rant from a girl who looks like a boy!" Yzak then went on to spew a long string of inappropriate curses, obviously out of frustration and anger at his position, all of which Athrun calmly took in as he continued walking. Suddenly Nicol's voice took over as Yzak's faded into the background.

"Sorry about Yzak… it's just that he got pissed at you leaving us, and that ten minutes before he made the link your, ah, prisoner began attacking him with various cuss words, the last of which insulted his hair…" he hurriedly explained. Yzak's hair… it was a known fact to all those around him that his hair was probably the worst thing about his appearance to insult. Either one stood fifty feet from him and yelled the insult from there, or had to have extremely fast legs and reflexes. "He even threatened her with a gun, but Dearka managed to get him down before he made a bigger mess – ack, Yzak, get off – "

"I swear, Zala, I will treat all those insults as your own!" Yzak spat.

"Yzak, tone it down, would you? You're scaring away the birds…" Athrun said coolly in reply. It was true – while there used to be various types of birds sitting on the branches of the trees, now there were barely any. He saw on the tracker's screen that the green dot he had placed on the screen was getting closer to his. "Well, I believe I do have to get going. Your orders are to stay and keep watch over the prisoner, particularly you, Yzak – if I hear from Nicol that you've been threatening the prisoner again, consider yourself at Commander Le Creuset's wrath." With that, Athrun terminated the link.

If his tracker was correct, the meeting place should be just in front of him, beyond those bushes… he parted the leafy plants and saw, standing on the ground, a small yet familiar machine. Its wings were tucked in and it stood still, but its red eyes still shone brightly, and it chirped 'Torii!' as it hopped towards Athrun and perched on his shoe. Athrun reached down with an outstretched hand. The bird happily hopped onto his palm as it sang out again.

A rustle came up behind him. Athrun froze, his hand instantly on his gun. Slowly, he turned around to see who or what it was.

There, leaning on a tree trunk, was that far-too-familiar person, from the brown hair and purple eyes to the smile on his face. He stepped out from the shadows of the forest into the small clearing where a tiny patch of dim sunlight shone down on them, his feet making 'crunch' sounds as he stepped on the dried-up fallen leaves. Athrun quickly, but hesitantly, pulled out his gun and pointed it at the newcomer, arm shaking slightly.

"Well, Athrun," the figure greeted. He stared, unafraid, at the deadly mechanism being levelled at his head. His eyes full of courage, his body braced for the worst and his smile friendly, this person walked closer and closer to Athrun, until he was but a centimetre away from the gun. At a closer look Athrun saw he was unarmed.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Kira continued. "I guess both of us have changed in a year and a half. But I have questions, and I'm guessing you do too…" he trailed off, glancing off at the sky above them, which had turned into an orange-red colour. "First, though, put down you gun. I am not here to fight; I am merely here to talk. Even if I suddenly threatened you anyway, I am unarmed – what could I do against your gun?" Reluctantly, Athrun lowered the weapon, not once taking his eyes off of the person who stood in front of him.

A moment of tension passed between them. There was heaviness in the air that hung between them. One who stared angrily into the other's eyes, the other defiantly glaring back. Two friends, torn by war and tragedy, united at that moment through bloodshed and sadness. They couldn't seem to understand why the other had to stand across from them and confront them like there were in an interrogation.

"Why, Kira?" Athrun spoke first. "Why didn't you tell me?"

_So he decided to start all the way back at the beginning, _Kira thought. _Back to why this whole mess started…_ "I – I was scared. Of getting shoved out. Of being excluded. Just because ZAFT Sky Kingdom allows Berserkers, it didn't guarantee that people would welcome me in. So I built myself a new life, one away from the one I had before, so I could be normal again like everyone else. I didn't want to lose the friends I had made just because of who I was!"

"Ah… I see. So you don't trust me, Kira? You thought that if you told me, I would leave? Even after all we've been through?" Athrun's eyes were sad, but firm in their decision. "Maybe if you had told me, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"And where would I be?" Kira retorted. "In a lab, being treated like a lab rat? I'm not stupid, Athrun. I know why you want me, and I want no part of it! To make others go through that kind of torture for you father's own crazy ambitions… do you want to throw the whole world into chaos and war? Do you want uncontrolled anger kill and manipulate people's feelings? You don't know what it feels like!"

"I don't know what it feels like? I know what it feels like to be hurt and torn. I know what it's like to have anger rip my family apart. I know how it feels to have someone you loved leave you, in more ways than one. My life hasn't been perfect, and it's not about to be!" Athrun's voice shook with rage. "So I'm going to get rid of what made it all wrong!"

Kira froze. The sudden realization of something terribly wrong about the gene-altering plan that could potentially wipe out the whole human race can do that to someone. Sure, he knew Athrun wanted vengeance, but surely throwing the world into despair wasn't the key… He temporarily phased out, leaving Athrun to stare at his glazed eyes in befuddlement as he saw a world of chaos and sadness. If anything, he had to stop this project from happening NOW.

"Athrun… you can't do this. You can't let the project continue," Kira whispered, trying to pacify his angry friend.

"And why not, Kira?" he snarled, so far from the calm, understanding person Kira knew as his friend. "Why shouldn't I be the one to take the revenge I so rightly deserve? Why are you stopping me? You've felt the same way before… didn't you feel angry when you had to leave ORB? Don't you want to get back at ORB for what they did to you?"

That last remark hit Kira like a punch to the face. He had never thought of it that way before… was this all really to be blamed on ORB? Could he really say that it was their fault for being scared? Half of him thought that they had every right to banish him. He was, after all, a threat to their existence. They could have gotten eradicated.

But that other part of him agreed with Athrun. And that got him so confused…

Was Athrun just trying to psych him out? He had to keep focus.

"Athrun, the Berserker's supreme energy isn't released until the bearer gets extremely angry. Since that's how I operate, everyone using my DNA will have to also do so in order to activate the power, which I know is what you ultimately want. So how will you do that? Will you implant false memories in them? And even if you managed to successfully initiate a Berserk mode in them, how do you plan on stopping them all? And when you have invoked the effect so many times, what will you do with those stuck in Berserk mode? Will you kill your own fellow soldiers?"

Kira looked at Athrun, the look in his eyes daring his friend to argue. But Athrun just started laughing, that kind of evil laugh that a villain did when the hero uncovers his plan and it's too late to stop it. But it hadn't started yet – they needed him to start the plan… right? What was Athrun laughing about? They hadn't won yet, as long as he still ran from them.

"I think this is the point in time when I burst your bubble and tell you about ZAFT's plan, so I might as well... look at me, Kira," he began.

And Athrun closed his eyes…

* * *

He had only tapped into the 'seed' once before, and that had been during the initial testing. But Athrun still remembered the exhilarating feeling he got from entering his own Berserk mode. It was a sort of warm feeling, which was quickly replaced with a rush of cold that coursed through his body, running through his fingertips and wanting to jump out.

When Athrun opened his eyes again, he could see Kira's shock as his friend and enemy looked at his eyes. Inwardly, he grinned; he remembered the look he himself had when he first saw the blank pale blue-green look of his eyes that said he was in Berserk mode. He then saw Kira move slowly into a fighter's stance, expecting an attack from him.

"Oh, don't worry, Kira," he said calmly, making him jump. "Unlike you, I have full control at the moment. I guess we just got ahead of you there…" Athrun began to explain. "We knew what would happen if we just let the Berserker gene in – it would kill us. So for six months, our scientists and DNA experts fiddled with some extremely old Berserker DNA found from the first documents of Berserker exterminations. The researchers managed to succeed, but the DNA was only able to be implanted into one test subject before it wasn't able to be used any longer."

"Athrun… you?"

"I'm the chairman's son who's in the military. Since the chairman represents ZAFT Sky Kingdom and its step into the future of the world, who better to be a test subject?" he replied, ignoring the look of shock on Kira's face. "However, it does appear to be that this variant of the gene has the powers of the Berserker considerably weakened. I guess that's something one can fix… and that's why we need you to come with us, Kira. By using DNA that can work through modern era machines, we can implant the variant into others and find a way to boost the power without losing control over ourselves."

"No."

Athrun closed his eyes again, and concentrated on releasing the power he held from the 'seed'. When he opened his eyes again, that odd, numbing feeling had left him and if one were to look in his eyes, he or she would see that the usual emerald green hue. But these eyes were widened slightly now in surprise at his friend's refusal, like they were asking, 'Why?'

"No?" Athrun repeated, as though he hadn't heard right.

"I don't want people to die because of me!" Kira cried. "I'm not like you, Athrun. I don't want to kill. I can't kill. Even if it's for revenge, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it." Kira paused, then looked Athrun in the eye. "What has happened to you? You were never so obsessed about vengeance before – I mean, maybe you blew your top once in a while, but you weren't going to kill… you hated the idea of war! What happened… it's all because your mother died, isn't it? I know I'm not one to say it, but you should try and let go. You're changing just because she isn't here anymore, and I think if you keep doing this you're going to – "

Athrun grabbed Kira by the collar of his black shirt, his eyes unknowingly flashing the hollow green again. His face twisted into a snarl, he lifted the person across from him up into the air. Kira began to cough and choke from the tightness level at which Athrun helf him at. However, Athrun didn't seem to care; he was beyond caring. He was so full of anger that he had to unleash, and Kira was the closest vent.

"Don't you DARE talk about my mother that way," he hissed. "My mother was perhaps the most important person in my life – she LOVED me, unlike most other people… and when she died, Father's old self died with her! My whole life's been turned upside down because of those jealous Earth Alliance forces who can't handle things with just a talk! Besides mother and Father, there was only one other person who understood me… and she's gone."

For a brief second, Athrun stopped half-choking Kira, hesitating slightly. Kira sensed uncertainty and chaos in the around the raven-haired boy as he saw that, for a second, the eyes turned back to their usual startling green. Did Athrun really have control over the Berserker's powers or was there something even he himself didn't know about the effectiveness of the scientists' research? The look in Athrun's eyes seemed to hold confusion. This was still far too dangerous to let it continue… but just as Kira was going to break free of Athrun's weakened grip, it tightened again, this time tighter than it was before.

"My mother was who taught me to love and smile. She taught me to be happy. AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD FORGET ABOUT HER?" Athrun screamed in Kira's face, tears freely falling and streaking his face. "ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LEAVE BEHIND FIFTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE?" He shook Kira with immense strength, ignoring the fact that his friend had started to turn blue from lack of air. "You don't know what it feels like when someone close to you dies, do you? It's like a sword has split your soul. For some, it's easy for them to move on – they can get over it in a few days, even. For others, even a lifetime can't help. YOU DON'T KNOW THE AGONY I'M GOING THROUGH!"

Kira would have replied, had it not been for the fact that Athrun was choking him so hard he could barely breathe, let alone speak. Was this the Athrun he knew? It seemed like the Berserker energy was cutting free of the bonds the scientists had placed inside him. He had to stop Athrun before it was too late, or Athrun would be stuck in a world of blood, and he would be dead.

But why was Athrun acting so stupid? True, Kira didn't know that feeling of insecurity that he described, but the Athrun he knew didn't dwell on such matters, now matter how chaotic or sorrowful they were. Even after all the arguing, Athrun still refused to listen to reason… he was about to bring down the whole world with him and his anger, and he didn't even care… Kira's anger towards Athrun at that moment began to reflect in his eyes – the hollow, deadly look began to show. Just when Kira was going to see the seed explode, a voice reached both his and Athrun's ears:

"Kira, Athrun, DON'T!"

* * *

Lacus had been silently watching in the bushes, watching the confrontation between two reunited friends. Kira had wanted to talk to Athrun alone first, to try and persuade him to stop. Lacus wasn't so sure if Athrun would ever want to see her face again, but Kira reassured her, saying that it was fine, so she made a compromise: if Athrun didn't look too happy, she wouldn't reveal herself.

She stood in the shadows of the forest, where the dim sunset light couldn't reach her. As she waited, she heard snippets and pieces of their conversation, which started out peaceful enough, but soon turned sour. Their voices growing louder, she listened in on their arguments, which got increasingly personal.

"My mother was perhaps the most important person in my life – she LOVED me, unlike most other people…" she heard Athrun say. _Was? Did Athrun's mother die or something? I didn't know… _she thought sadly. _I don't know a thing that's happened to him in the last four years. I wonder what else I don't know…_

_**How would you know? **_a second voice rang in her mind. **_It's not like you truly cared… both you and I know you could have easily contacted him during those four years – you just put yourself before him…_**

_I was only trying to save lives!_ Lacus thought back in defence. _If I had contacted him I would have been endangered and most likely found out, and everything my father created would have been in vain, all because of me wanting to talk with a friend…_

"…and when she died, Father's old self died with her! My whole life's been turned upside down because of those jealous Earth Alliance forces who can't handle things with just a talk!" Athrun continued angrily. Lacus was in shock.

_I was right… his mother really did die…_

_**Yeah, and you weren't there, right when he probably needed you most,**_ that voice continued. **_You let him down. You are the one to blame – not your father, not anyone else, just you. It wasn't anyone else who promised him for you… no you were the one to do it. And you broke that promise. _**

"Besides Mother and Father, there was only one other person who understood me… and she's gone."

Was Athrun talking about her? He spoke of it with such pain and sadness, like this person mattered a lot to him. It resonated with sorrow. And if it WAS her, why had she never noticed how much she had meant to him? Was she really that blind, to not have noticed it after all those years? _I never knew… it IS all my fault. I've caused him so much pain._

_**This is an ideal time for me to say 'I told you so', Clyne.**_

_You're not making things any better!_

But Lacus knew that little voice was right. She had left Athrun alone for those four years, all for her own desires of peace. True, it was for the sake of others, but she had neglected her promise to her best friend. No, how could she even consider herself his friend any more? She had wanted to be a perfect daughter and a perfect friend at the same time, even though the two roles indirectly conflicted each other, and she had failed – miserably.

**_You're such a failure, Clyne. You messed up everything so bad… but, as they say, you made your bed, now go lie in it…_**

Lacus was so wallowed in her misery she hadn't noticed that Athrun had been choking Kira. She heard an angry, yelling voice but she didn't bother to match it with an owner. All she thought of was what horrible things she had done. She hadn't been there to comfort her friend in need, and maybe if she had, he wouldn't be so hell-bent on avenging his mother.

It was only the last sentence that Athrun yelled that snapped her out of her self-berating. She poked her head out from behind the tree where she stood to be greeted with a terrible sight: Athrun was choking Kira, the choked's face turning blue and the choker's eyes a pale, hollow green – the sign of the Berserker's action… and when Kira's eyes began to show the same look, Lacus knew she couldn't hide any longer, even if it meant exposing herself.

_Even if it's my fault… I have to be willing to fix what I've done!_

"Kira, Athrun, DON'T!" she cried, jumping out of her hiding spot and running towards the two. Both boys turned to the source of the voice, eyes returning to their normal colours. Kira had stopped resisting Athrun's grip, while Athrun simply dropped him to the ground, causing Kira to collapse out of weakness and deeply intake large gulps of air.

"Lacus…" Athrun whispered, as his face lightened up slightly at the sight of his long-lost friend. Memories rushed by, one particular one sticking in his head, one that resurfaced years of smiles and laughter…

_Year EE 211, December 25_

_Clyne Aprilius Mansion, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_"Merry Christmas, Lacus…" a young Athrun Zala said, standing in front of the Clyne mansion's main door, which swung open. It was snowing outside, and the afternoon sky was full of pale grey snow clouds. Small flakes of snow had gathered on top of Athrun's head, dotting his head of dark blue hair with bits of white. Decked out in a dark blue coat, he held in his hands a box wrapped in pretty pink paper and had a card with the words 'To Lacus' written in neat, tidy writing. His parents, Patrick and Lenore Zala, stood on either side of the smiling boy, also looking happy. _

_Lacus, who had opened the door, clapped her hands together in joy. She wore a white blouse with a light pink jacket over top, with a pale pink skirt that went down to her ankles and a pair of white shoes. On her face was a radiant smile, one that only she could ever make. Her long pink hair was tied up with a red silk ribbon._

_"Athrun! Mr. and Mrs. Zala, come on in!" she cheerfully greeted. "Merry Christmas to you too!"_

_Everyone walked into the large, luxurious mansion, where the usual emptiness was replaced with happy holiday music, festive decorations and a bunch of happy maids, cooks and such, who Lacus had insisted on spending the day at the mansion. Since they were all orphans because of some reason or another, they considered the mansion a second home, and were happy to celebrate with their 'family'. _

_The afternoon passed by quickly enough, with lots of festivities and games. If one were to have poked their head through a window on that day, they would have seen many happy faces and a house just full of Christmas spirit. Even Siegel and Patrick, who usually didn't get along well with the other because of their differing opinions, seemed to put aside their differences and laugh and sing along with everyone else, even if it was only for this one day._

_Dinner was eaten along a long table, with ehough room for everyone to sit comfortably on their cushioned chairs. Tons of food, including Mrs. Zala's famous rolled cabbages, was laid out along the table on beautiful porcelain dishes. Voices chatted all around the table, mingling with the passing of dishes, the 'clink' sounds of silverware meeting plates and the clashing of glasses. While reaching for the mashed potatoes, Athrun's hand collided into Lacus's, which was trying to get the turkey. Athrun could just feel his cheeks turning red, but when he looked at Lacus, she merely smiled. _

_After, everyone gathered under the enormous Christmas tree to give presents. The large fir tree was covered in silver and blue ornaments, along with strings of white lights that gave it a starry look. Lacus dragged Athrun to a spot under the tree and sat down on the floor, beckoning Athrun to do the same. In her hands was the pink-wrapped present he had handed her earlier._

_"Uh… I'm not sure if you'll like it, but I was thinking you would like this sort of thing," he admitted shyly._

_"Don't worry, Athrun! Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it!" was the chipper reply. _

_Lacus carefully unwrapped the paper and set it to one side. Opening the box, she found a round pink ball with a strange-looking face on it. Suddenly, Lacus saw the face's eyes light up, and the ball started rolling around in the box. It promptly jumped out of the box, bouncing around the hall and startling people, saying 'Haro! Haro!' the whole time until I bounced at Lacus's face and out of human defensive instincts she held her hand out to stop it._

_"What… is this?" she asked, still in shock. _

_"It's name is Haro," Athrun replied. "It's got a built in recording system so it can learn some words…' At that moment, Haro chose to interrupt Athrun's explanation with a 'Haro! Lacus! Haro! Lacus!'_

_For a few moments, Lacus just stared at the round pink machine. Athrun's heart was pounding. What if she didn't like it? What if she just pretended to like it for his sake? He didn't like pity; even if it was from someone close, the grudge he would hold would stay for a while. But would Lacus understand? Maybe. Maybe not._

_She looked at Athrun with her sincere eyes. Athrun thought he saw a teardrop form in her eye. Just when he thought she was going to cry, she began to laugh! The tear rolling down her cheek was one of joy. She jumped up and ran out from underneath the tree with Haro, running around with it while it sang 'Let's play!' cheerfully._

_"Come, Athrun!" she called out. He walked over to where she was, playing happily with the ball-like machine, which was flapping two circular ear-like pieces on its side while jumping up and down. She caught it in her hands and turned to him, explaining to the Haro something. _

_"See? You know my name is Lacus. His is Athrun. Can you say it?" _

_The Haro complied, hopping off of Lacus's hands to Athrun's, saying 'Athrun!' Then it jumped back to Lacus, saying 'Lacus!' _

_"Athrun, this is the most amazing present ever! Did you make this?" she asked. _

_"Well, I got some help from father…" Athrun admitted._

_"How did you know what to make?" Lacus caught a surprised Athrun in a big hug, squeezing him tightly. "This has to be my favourite Christmas of all, and it was all thanks to you!" Athrun blushed furiously at that moment, but slowly found the courage to put his arms around his pink-haired best friend in an embrace._

But this was but a memory, a memory of a time long ago. And the anger Athrun had kept in himself for four years just tore the happy memory apart, reminding him that this person was the reason he was suffering. Yet it was a thing that both healed him and hurt him at the same time, one that became a vicious cycle of love and hate.

"So I was right…" he muttered, his face returning to its angry look. "The traitorous liar has joined Kira's side. I wasn't seeing things when I saw your pink hair dangling off a branch…" At Lacus's shocked silence, he continued. "Why are you betraying ZAFT? Why are you doing it if you're only causing chaos in PLANT? Are you implying through your actions that you don't care about the country that loves you so much to call you the 'Pink Princess of Pop'?

"Athrun… do you really think this war will bring peace? Even if you eventually take over the world and place it under ZAFT's control, there will be those who will someday form a powerful enough group to start a new war and plunge the world into despair yet again! Is that what you truly want to happen?" Lacus replied, still surprised at what Athrun had said.

For a moment, Athrun didn't know what to say. Was what Lacus said true? Would war happen again? _Don't listen to her! _a voice in his head advised him. _The last time you believed what she said, she broke your heart. Do you think she'll just decide to change all of a sudden? Besides, what does she know of your sorrow? _This time, the anger within him won. He exploded.

"Always thinking about the situation without thinking about human feelings… that's you, all right," he began, voice full of nothing but restless rage. His shoulders visibly shaking, he glared at the pink-haired girl with indescribable fury, resisting the urge to hit her.

"This is all about me leaving, isn't it?" Lacus snapped in reply, something very unusual for her to do. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I never sent you letters… I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise. I put my beliefs in what was important before the promise I made to you. But you have to stop this! This war won't solve all your problems! It'll just bring more of – "

"What do you know about my problems? My mother died at Junius-7! Do you know the pain I feel? Oh wait, you weren't with me then – I had no one to pour my sorrows to, even when you PROMISED! Of course I would want to avenge my mother's death! We're not all PERFECT like you claim to be!"

"I do not – "

"You were my confidante, my support, my friend, my – "Athrun choked on the last word, beginning to cry a little. "I – I loved you…" His face reddened slightly at saying it in front of Kira, who had watched in silence, but he continued on, tears rolling down his face. "Couldn't you have seen that? Sorry's not good enough anymore!"

Kira hadn't known that the tension between Athrun and Lacus had been so strong. But then, Athrun had always been good at hiding his emotions… This was a side of his best friend he hadn't seen before. Was this why he never seemed to be attracted to another girl at school? Was this why when someone else asked him out, he would decline and look kind of wistfully away at the sky, like he was waiting for someone?

"Athrun, I…" Lacus tried to say something, but she just couldn't.

"I think we all understand each other a lot better now, do we?" Athrun said coldly, all traces of the sorrowful and angry person gone, hidden beneath the cold, unfeeling shell he had built around himself. "We'll get you somehow, Kira, whether it be by persuasion or force. And one more thing – we found a blonde-haired girl with amber eyes in our base poking her nose about our business. If what she says is correct, she's your sister. And I don't want to have to threaten her in order to get to you."

_My sister? Cagalli? _Kira thought, panicked. _No… what is she doing here?_

Athrun turned away from Kira and Lacus and walked from the two of them, heading back to the life of vengeance he had created for himself. As the two parties parted paths, they knew they would meet again, but their little talk in the woods hadn't made things better – rather, it seemed to move the whole war around them to a whole new level of importance, danger and chaos.

* * *

Ack, Athrun sounds quite weepy in this chapter half the time, and the other half the time he's screaming his head off. What to do… oh well.

By the time I update this again with a new chapter, school will have started… and it sucks that I won't be able to update as much, but I'm happy that I managed to get four chapters in during the summer. Anyways, the next update will be Diary Entry 02 (I don't consider them as chapters), so that will be pretty soon – I hope. Since I'm not posting it at the same time, I'll try and make it a little longer. But due to the nature of the chapter, it's kind of hard, so forgive me…

-EmbeRin


	11. Diary Entry 02: Athrun Zala

The Lone Berserker

Diary Entry 02: Athrun Zala

I should've known something would go wrong when I planned this story… I hated displeasing readers and I'm happy that people are being honest with their opinions, since I knew it would happen eventually… the same as last time, review responses are posted at the URL in my profile under 'Works in Progress'…

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED or any of the songs I will mention, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

_"Date: September 27, EE 216. Time: 23 hours, 29 minutes, 10 seconds. Recorder: Athrun Zala._

_"Nothing is going according to plan. The operation failed… Yzak and Dearka are injured at the moment, although they are recovering quickly. I sent Nicol back with them to base after I found a piece of paper written by Kira to tell me where he wanted to meet and talk. I thought that if I went alone and could persuade him, then maybe we wouldn't have to fight each other. That everything would be all right in the end…_

_"However, it didn't work. Kira seemed so upheld in his ideals of peace and not fighting that he didn't seem to believe a word I said. He said I was the one who changed. He said I wasn't so bent on vengeance before. Is it true? Have I changed so much? The truth is, I don't think I'll ever know… I feel like I'm not the same, yet exactly the same as I was before the talk._

_"And then there was Lacus. I couldn't believe she was there, after waiting for four years… just when I was going to try and let go of her memory, she comes back to haunt me. I want to hate her, but I can't seem to do so. All I can do is think of why I loved her so long ago… and why I'm still clinging to those useless memories. But thinking about her… it awakens a strange pain in my heart. I can't explain it. It can't be the same love… can it? _

_"I know how to shoot a gun accurately, and I've fired one before. I know how to kill with my own two hands and with a knife – and I've been trained to do so without remorse. I graduated at the top of my year as part of the elite. In matters of that kind, I was no beginner. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I feel like I'm a little boy, curled up and shivering in a corner. I feel inexperienced, insecure… and afraid. Am I afraid of love? Is that it?_

_"There were so many other things that went on then. I faded in and out at times as if I wasn't in control of myself. Both times when I returned, I had my hands on Kira's collar, squeezing his neck tightly. I don't know what was wrong with me… I can't remember much of what I said, just that it was something regarding how angry Kira had made me. He treated my mother like she was only a thing of the past, a trivial matter. I felt enraged at his words…_

_"There are so many things I want to ask Kira. What did I do? Why was I choking you? Tiny flashes of visions and sounds come to my mind every so often… I see a blue-faced Kira, choking because of lack of air. I hear my voice yelling, but I can't tell what the words are. And then when Lacus appeared, I had regained control of myself… why was that? Was this the Berserk gene's doing? Don't I have that restrained? What's wrong with me?_

_"No, I have to stop this. It's not going to help me… I should try to find some logical reason for this strange happening. I have to forget about Lacus, even when she's so deeply entangled in this. She's holding me back. Mother… if you could hear me now, what would you think of me? What should I do? Kira isn't agreeing with me and neither is Lacus. Are they the right ones here? _

_"I guess the best thing I can do now is just put this all behind me and keep walking down the path I feel is right. What is truly right, I don't know… but maybe I've been crying for too long and I need to start believing in myself. Maybe I'll try to turn back and run away, or maybe I'll keep moving on and be stubborn in my beliefs, but no matter what, I've realized now that I can't give up on what I'm doing and I have to go farther than I've gone before. _

_"I wish there was a way to rewind time and make things right… but a thing like this doesn't exist. Until it's the time then, I have to keep this all a secret to everyone else and lock it up inside me. Maybe someday, when I understand everything and all this is behind us, the world will come to peace, and I will come to peace with Kira and myself. _

_"Mother, if you're looking down on me right now, I hope you're proud of me."

* * *

_

In my opinion, I think this was a little strange… but I didn't know what to do about it (as usual, but it got fixed a little by a friend). I drew some inspiration from another song's lyrics from Seed… this time it was River, by Tatsuya Ishii (I hope I spelled that right… correct me if otherwise) I wasn't going to tell in the beginning and have someone guess, but I then thought that would be stupid… well, I hope this is enough to satisfy you for now, because the next update won't be for a while. Until then…

-EmbeRin


	12. Amidst the Anger, is Fear

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Ten: Amidst the Anger, is Fear

I've returned! At long last…

As usual, answers to the reviewers are posted on the blog. Just click the 'homepage' link on my profile and go to the entry called 'The Lone Berserker, Diary Entry 02', if my profile hasn't updated by the time you've read this. I'm taking the time to answer them, but some people don't seem to read them! Especially when people are demanding that I've got my facts wrong! I've answered, but you just haven't bothered to read them. But to sum things up, THIS IS AN AU. THIS IS NOT THE COSMIC ERA, TO THOSE WHO THINK SO! To those who already know, though, I'm not yelling at you. I'm really happy that you know when others have clearly not read the summary.

But thanks to all those who waited!

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 28 

ZAFT Temporary Base, Outskirts of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Cagalli sat glumly inside the small box-like prison, hugging her knees. There was a bed in the room, one of stone that she leaned against. A door led to a small, secluded bathroom, but that was about it. Trapped in a place all alone, at the enemy's mercy. It was ALL she could EVER want… she would never envy one of those heroines in adventure stories ever again.

She looked out from between the metal bars that kept her imprisoned inside enemy territory. Beyond them, at the table which she had spent half a sleepless night staring at, was the raven-haired boy who had captured her, the one with the strange green eyes. He had sat there, occasionally muttering to himself, all night, not going over to the bed of his on one of the further parts of the truck.

Why he was like this, Cagalli could think about all day and still not know. But she suspected it was because of the little meeting he supposedly had with Kira… he had not appeared very happy when he returned last night.

_Year EE 216, September 27_

_ZAFT Temporary Base, Outskirts of Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_A captive Cagalli lay on the cold bed in her room, her hands at the back of her head, supporting it so it wouldn't touch the hard stone. She stared at the grey ceiling, with only one dim light to brighten up the dark walls. Suddenly, a 'BAM' broke her out of her hours-long routine and sent her eyes looking towards the other end of the truck, where she had entered the base section from the driving space. _

_There stood the boy who had put her in the prison that very afternoon. He looked angry, with a frown on his face. But in his eyes, Cagalli saw a mist shroud his eyes, one which hid his true feelings. What was he hiding behind that hard face? What had really happened?_

_"So, where did you go off to?" the silver-haired boy who sat at the table asked. He and his two fellow soldiers had been silently discussing their next plans on the map, signalling to each other so Cagalli wouldn't know. Every so often the silver-haired would yell "Where IS he?" Of course, no one knew. Cagalli became much quieter once she realized that green-eyed boy could keep in touch with them. _

_"Shut up, Yzak. I'm not in the mood," he snapped back at him. He swivelled around the last empty chair around the table and sank himself down in it. For a moment, Cagalli saw through the mist around the boy's eyes. Even then, she couldn't see the emotions directly, but she caught a tinge of… sadness?_

Cagalli's eyes hurt after that sleepless night, but she continued to study the boy, since she had nothing else to do. He sat, elbows on the table with his hands cupping his face. His expression held frustration and anger. However, he kept all these feelings inside himself. The average person looking at him would just think he was very deep in thought.

What was his past? How come it seemed like he knew Kira? What had happened? She felt that she had a right to know. She wanted to find out about her brother. Should she ask the boy about it? This boy… how did Kira connect to him? Just how much did he change over the three years he spent in ZAFT Sky Kingdom?

Now that she thought about it, she didn't know his name, or who he was. Surely there was some sort of hint about him that slipped? Seeing as she seemed to have all the time in the world, she used it to think back on the hours she had been stuck in the jail, subject to the soldier's whim…

Wait.

Didn't the silver-haired boy yell 'ZALA' when he had talked through that speaker thing, and she heard that boy's voice back out? Zala was the name of the chairman, but wasn't he somewhere else? And she was sure that no boy would dare to call the chairman by his last name, so the next logical progression as to what relation the boy is to Zala would be…

… she was in a whole lot more crap than she thought she was.

* * *

Athrun thought grimly on what had happened yesterday. He planned strategies, plots, tricks, anything of the sort that could help him along with his goal. His mind raced with plans, sometimes putting mental marks on the map in front of him to see how they would work. It was to keep him occupied while the others allowed themselves temporary leave of the mission. He had no desire to see his father, so he offered to stay and watch over the prisoner while using this spare time effectively. 

Or so he tried.

With every passing moment, he became ever more aware that the one he was chasing was his best friend. Before, he knew, but it was different; his mind had been clouded with the excitement of the first mission. Now, everything was painfully clear and presented themselves to Athrun, causing him to rethink everything.

Could he bear to imprison his best friend? Just seeing him again after three years as someone like an enemy triggered some kind of strange feeling. He couldn't place a finger on it. His mind fought against it, but his heart welcomed it. Part of him believed that this would hold him back from the mission, when the other thought it could fill the hole of loneliness he had torn out of him when he had to leave.

That meeting with Kira had raised doubts of his. He didn't know who was right now. Uncertainty and fear filled his heart. _But the heart of a soldier should only be filled with unquestionable loyalty to his superiors and his homeland. Does this make me a bad soldier, or a bad friend? Where should my loyalties lie? The life and home I owe my loyalty to, or the friend I always wanted, the one who would TRULY understand me?_

Suddenly, a pain rushed through his head, and a vision came to Athrun's mind…

_Athrun was in side another person's body, his arms around someone's neck. He heard someone shouting and he felt his mouth move, saying things he couldn't control. Who was this person? Why was he strangling someone? As the person moved his head up, he saw Kira's face, wrenched in pain. Why was Kira being strangled by this person? But when he looked in Kira's eyes, the face in the reflection off his eyes was none other than his own._

That was just absurd. Him, Kira's best friend, strangling him? He never remembered such a thing.

But then he thought about it a little more. That reflection, how come his eyes seemed so… empty? He thought back to anything he had done that could have caused that, and his mined shuffled up yesterday's happenings. He had turned Berserker then, to tell Kira.

It made no sense, though. The scientists said he would be in full control. They couldn't have made a mistake – or, at least, the margin for error was really small. They were the best of the best. Yet he couldn't remember him ever doing such a thing, let alone to a best friend.

Was that margin of error the difference? He was so confused…

And then there was Lacus… she was the wild card in all this. He could never tell when he'd hate her and when he'd love her. It was that part of himself out of his soldier's control, that part that was implanted in his human self. He couldn't understand. His mind struggled to take in account what she actually said, rather than just go with her every word. What many called 'love' fought against all that he knew…

His thoughts wandered off to the prisoner. He looked at her for a second, while her head was down. Her radiant blonde hair fell around her face, which appeared bored. For a fleeting moment, Athrun thought of freeing her. But his pity was quickly wiped out by the drilled-in coldness of being a soldier.

Of course, it wasn't only pity… If Athrun hadn't drained himself of emotion to please his father, he would have turned red at his thoughts of lust. But it was only a human production. If he hadn't really thought of it, it was only hormones acting on a 16-year old boy, right?

Or was it really him?

* * *

This… this BOY was the son of the CHAIRMAN? 

To be honest, Cagalli hadn't expected any less. He held himself with an air of importance. He was quite clever and intelligent, it seemed. He was responsible, dutiful and loyal to his country. She just didn't think he would be serving in the military… she had thought that someone like him would be going to a rich, prestigious school now, studying, or something.

He was also undeniably cute… that thought crossed Cagalli's mind, but se swatted it away violently. _This is not the time to be acting like you're one of those giggly girls back at school! _She scolded herself. She scolded herself. _You're in a prison and you're thinking about boys. This is just insane._

She looked up to see the boy looking at her. He quickly whipped his head around back to face the table. For a second, she thought she had seen him redden slightly, but she shook it off, thinking it was only a hallucination. Being confined really was starting to make her crazy…

"Who are you, really?" the boy's voice asked her.

* * *

"Who are you, really?" 

The question just popped out of his mouth. Athrun had never meant to say a word, but his absentmindedness sent the words flying out of his mouth. It was too late to stop the thought of his that shouldn't have come out. At the same time, he didn't truly regret it; asking it would stop the question from bouncing around the sides of his skull.

Would this count as 'productive' strategy thinking?

The girl's head snapped up at the question. Her amber eyes glared with an angry look in them.

"Do you think I'm going to answer you?" she retorted angrily. "What makes you think that you will force it out of me?" She spat out her reply with such venom, it was a wonder the words didn't just melt the bars off her prison and let her escape. Still, he tried to keep his cool. He knew how people like this operated. Find their one weakness, and they crumbled away…

Athrun drew out a bit of his knife from its sheath so that the blade showed, remembering how she froze when he had placed it at her neck. She cringed, though trying to keep scowling at him. As he took the knife further out, the girl went further into the corner of the prison, staring at it in fright.

What made her tick so easily at the sight of a knife?

"I really don't think you're in a position to argue against me," he said coolly, in a way that instantly froze the atmosphere around them to silence. "I'm the one who holds your fate in my hands, so I suggest you answer my questions – fast." He slid the knife back into its sheath. The fire in the girl's eye returned, but it wasn't as bright and raging as before, and she fought with more of a silent battle. She snarled slightly, but she answered his first question.

"Cagalli," she replied, with a slightly reluctant tone.

"Cagalli…?" Athrun asked, raising an eyebrow. _Quite the defiant person here, isn't she?_ he thought as she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Suit yourself…" he replied. Then, he suddenly asked, "So, how come you care so much about Kira, Miss…" He trailed off.

"Yamato, and why shouldn't I? As you've already deduced, Mister I'm-So-High-and-Mighty, I'm his sister!"

* * *

Cagalli wanted to scream. 

This guy was really getting on her nerves. He couldn't be any older than herself, but she was being outwitted by him again and again and again! She just blurted out everything out through her anger. This guy was using her… and he'd only met her for less than a day!

"Why thank you, Miss Yamato," she heard him reply. He had on a small smirk, though it was cleverly hidden under an innocent smile. "So Kira is your brother? Well, I never knew that. What might a girl from ORB be doing here? I mean, ORB sure isn't about to help ZAFT in the war, is it?"

"I want to see my brother and make sure he's alright!" she yelled back. "I'm sure you don't know what it's like to be left like him; you're so cold-hearted and ruthless that you wouldn't even know what it's like to love someone like a brother! So what if I have concerns for someone other than myself?"

By the look on the guy's face, she had struck gold. Since he didn't immediately reply, she continued on her tirade against him.

* * *

Athrun didn't know how to react to that statement. 

Did he know how to love?

Of course he did. Didn't he love Lacus? Didn't he love his mother? Didn't he cry when they both left?

Or did he? Wasn't he just some sort of soulless form, someone who never showed his true feelings and hid behind a mask or indifference? He never showed how truly angry he was at Yzak, or how much he truly loved Lacus. No matter what way he looked at it, he had always hidden every feeling he felt didn't belong. He didn't want to be an outcast. He wanted to fit in with everyone else. And to do that, he had to be just what his father wanted.

He remained silent for a few moments. He had no comeback, no witty argument to shut the girl's mouth. He wasn't even listening to her now; the sound that reached his ears didn't have any words. Silence brought along all those feelings of guilt, sorrow and pain, the feelings he had lived with all his life. When Lacus left, when his mother died, they would take on entities of their own in his mind, yelling and jeering at him. He blanked out from reality, just standing there in front of the girl, and entered the world of his mind…

It was dark. He was blinded. He couldn't see a thing. Then, the voices returned. The harsh, haunted whispers blew in his ears the accusations that hurt him so much…

_If you hadn't been so shy about your feelings to Lacus, she might not have left you, _Guilt cried out. His voice was a strong, deep voice that resonated in his mind.

_If you had been able to stop Mother from going to the lab, then she wouldn't have hurt so much, and you wouldn't, either. You caused the people around you to worry, _Pain said. Hers was a voice that was high, broken and weak.

_If you had been true to yourself, you wouldn't be against your best friend. You would be able to be with Mother at home, with all your loved ones around you. Instead, you always followed Father. Look what you've become! _Sorrow accused Athrun cruelly. The quiet but commanding voice of Sorrow's was always the last to speak, but the most powerful.

But then, a new voice joined in, this one on his side.

_If this, if that! _it began. _Ifs never change anything. What's past is past. There's no point in drowning yourself in everything that went wrong. What you have to do now is take back what you lost. Take back the lives that took your mother's. Take back the heart that was stolen by Lacus. Instead of blaming it on yourself, blame it on them – it's not your fault! The important thing now is to take revenge…_

_But it IS my fault,_ Athrun replied, bewildered.

_That's the kind of thinking that will keep you down! _the voice persisted. _Join me. Then, I can help you get back everything. Your mother, Lacus, the father you once knew – they'll all be yours. All you have to do is side with me. All you have to do is follow the path of VENGEANCE…_

_Yes… _Athrun was weakened by the accusations. He could only accept this wonderful offer that had been placed in front of him. The roots of anger began to spread throughout him, awakening him from his blanking-out…

* * *

When the boy opened his mouth to speak, Cagalli stopped yelling at him. Was he going to admit his defeat? She was sure she laid down her solid arguments. She was sure she had won. Now, the boy would know not to mess with Cagalli Yula Yamato. But what came out of his mouth was nothing like what she had expected. 

"Well, at least I'm not someone who just left their brother to be exiled," he retorted. "I'm not like you, who didn't belong to a nation that scorned someone so. I'm sure you could have done something, but NO, your country's so heartless they set a 13-year old boy to a new place, a new country, all on his own."

That remark struck Cagalli hard.

She HADN'T done anything… the reality of the consequences of the banishment hit her.

Unknowingly, tears started to stream down her face, streaking her face with her silent cries of shame.

* * *

Despite Vengeance's promises of eventual happiness from his deeds, Athrun felt horrible for what he did. 

He had, intentionally, made a girl cry. One of the lessons he had learned was that intentionally making anyone cry was a horrible deed, but it was meaner to do it to a girl and expect tears. He had learned this from his father before he had turned cold and bent on destroying all Naturals. However, it was still in his son…

He had never expected that he would ever, ever change so very much. It was just assume that after war, he would return to who he once was, but he had been oh, so wrong. What else could change? His relationships with his father? Yzak? And then his mind rested on one face. Kira.

Would he still consider him a friend? Did he, right now?

_What kind of friend is he? _Vengeance asked him.

_I don't know…_ Athrun answered.

To keep himself from thinking of it, he decided to report to Commander Le Creuset. Taking one last look at the crying girl, he straightened his face of all soft feelings and turned on the comm.-screen to ZAFT Military Base. The commander apparently wasn't present at the moment, so he left a video message.

* * *

_"Commander Le Creuset. Currently, the target has left the area. It is suspected that he has allied himself with Lacus Clyne, although it is not certain. This makes the target much more manoeuvrable and protected. His current location is unknown. However, we do have a hostage found sneaking near our base. When interrogated, she has admitted to being the target's sister. As the person may have some DNA that could be of use to the research project, I have made the decision to return to HQ with the hostage first before resuming pursuit of the target. That is all."_

_The link terminated._

_The two men sat there again, in front of their many screens. The masked man looked slightly disappointed, but the still wore an eerie smile on his face. The blue-suit man, however, was laughing crazily, the sounds of his maniacal voice echoing through the empty spaces of the room._

_"I told you your little boys were completely insufficient!" he screamed in delight. "I do believe, then, that it is MY turn to try and get that dear boy…" He motioned to a person standing in the shadows behind the two of them._

_"Lorrnoke! Send your people out," he commanded. The shadow melted away. The blue-suit man grinned evilly._

_"Now," he said, "it's my turn to have fun."

* * *

_

"Stellar…" a voice woke her up.

"Huh? What is it…?" Stellar replied sleepily. They had stayed up all last night, awaiting their call to move forward. Not really the night-type person, Stellar had fallen asleep on duty. If Auel had found out, he would have teased her for not being able to stay awake – if it weren't for the fact that he too lay snoring on the cool grass.

Sting was the one who kept the group together. His cool sense evened out Auel's boisterous and sometimes obnoxious attitude and Stellar's occasional breakdown that happened between her times of childish innocence. They were all fourteen, orphans that had been brought in by the EA and trained to be secret assassins.

"We have to go," he said to Stellar, who was still rubbing her eyes. "Auel!" he called out to the blue-haired boy who had spread himself over the grass, flying squirrel style, over the course of his slumber.

"But why?" Stellar asked. "Stellar likes it here…"

Sting sighed.

"Because Neo's told us to go, Stellar," he said. Instantly, Stellar's eyes lit up. She ran over to the still-sleeping Auel.

"Come on, Auel!" she said, shaking him. "Neo's telling us to go!"

A few moments later, like three dark shadows, the teenaged assassins darted through the forest, searching for the target – one Kira Yamato.

* * *

And that's it! 

Sorry if it's a bit short. I wanted to make it longer, but I'm in a rush… -sigh-

-EmbeRin


	13. A Group of Lost Souls

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Eleven: A Group of Lost Souls

AHA! I am back, yet again, after another three-four months!

Anyways, this chapter was particularly bad in the fact that I stretched it out overly much and I got through ten minutes of the story in one chapter. Bad spacing and timing. But I couldn't bring myself to write any more because it would then grow too long… yeah, I suck as a writer.

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED or Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 29 

En route to Aprilius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Kira and Lacus walked along a side road of the Aprilius-3 highway, on the way to meeting the ride from part of her secret faction that would take them to the flagship of the Clyne Faction. The Clyne Faction was a union of many underground resistance groups to end the war, the main group under the command of Lacus. They hadn't surfaced yet, but soon enough they planned to launch a coordinated attack on the Januarius base, in charge of aerial military.

Lacus had put her long pink hair under her purple cloak, her eyes appearing under her hood. With her hand on Kira's, they looked like two young lovers visiting the countryside on a weekend. Although they held hands, they did not look at each other; Kira had his eyes ahead for the black car and Lacus had her eyes at the ground. Each was thinking their own thoughts.

They arrived at the meeting place early, so they went to the roadside to continue playing their roles as boyfriend and girlfriend. Kira took out some food from his backpack and laid out the picnic cloth. If a passing driver were to look closely, though, neither of them was actually saying a word.

_Kira seems so quiet today, _Lacus thought as she watched him eat his sandwich. _I wonder what's on his mind… _She had discovered a pleasure in watching him. Lacus wasn't quite sure what it was, but she just wanted to be around him. Being in his presence calmed her. He didn't have to talk – she just wanted to see.

She didn't want more, because she knew there was someone else in his life…

_Year EE 216, September 28_

_Forest outside Aprilius-2, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM_

_Lacus couldn't sleep that night._

_She tossed and turned, but it didn't help. She had just wakened up from a nightmare, one that kept on haunting her. She was in a house, a large mansion. A gunshot suddenly rang out and the next corner she turned showed a dead body. Half the time, it was her father. She was so scared, she would look down, and in her hands, she would hold the smoking gun._

_The truth was, she was getting too scared to sleep. She didn't want to. But she knew she had to, so she hoped the dreams would go away. Still they haunted her. _

_She turned to Kira, who slept peacefully beside her, face illuminated by the pale moon. Lacus calmed down. As long as one of them could sleep… she continued to look at him, watching him with interest. He looked almost like a doll, lying on the ground, still._

_A piece of hair fell onto Kira's face. Lacus raised a hand to move the hair out of his face, but hesitated. She didn't want to wake him up. But right at that moment, Kira turned over and grabbed her by the wrist._

_Lacus couldn't move. She couldn't pull back, because then that would wake Kira up, so she sighed and tried to take her mind off of it. She then heard Kira start to mumble in his sleep. She leaned in closer. The feel of his breath tickling her ear made her tingle._

_"No… don't go…" he said. "Stay with me, Cagalli…"_

Cagalli? Who's Cagalli? _Lacus wondered._

_"Cagalli, you know I love you…"_

_Then Kira pulled Lacus in by the arm and wrapped his arms around her. Lacus was stuck. Her feelings were also in a tug-of-war; part of her wanted to leave this embrace of mistaken love, but the other part of herself wanted to say in its hold. _**Leave. Wake him up. You're not the one he wants, so don't steal the love that is not yours, **_her mind scolded. _

But I can't leave._ Her less analytical, more impulsive self cried out. _I don't want to.

_She quickly wriggled out of his embrace and laid down again, her back facing him as though nothing happened. She heard him wake up and look around in his sleeping bag. Closing her eyes, Lacus tried to sleep again, but kept feeling Kira's arms around her. The name 'Cagalli' echoed in her mind. She shuddered._

"Mr. Yamato..." Lacus began hesitantly. Was it bad of her to ask? Was it someone from his past?

"Yeah?" Kira looked up from his ham and cheese sandwich. "And it's okay to call me Kira, Miss Clyne." He smiled. She looked so innocent-like…

"… who's Cagalli? I'm sorry, I just heard you say the name…"

For a second, Lacus thought she saw a twinge of shock on Kira's face. It seemed that this Cagalli meant a lot to him. But he quickly replaced the shock with a dark, moody look. Lacus was uncomfortable, seeing the Kira she knew vanish in front of her eyes. But maybe this was just another side of him, the side that triggered his Berserker…

"Cagalli is my sister. I haven't seen her in three years. She wasn't biologically relate, or she'd be with me now, but mom – well, her mom – found me in a basket and found we had the same birthday. I adopted Dad's family name Yamato. They were as good as real family – even better, or my parents wouldn't have left me. I miss them, my family."

Silence hung between the two of them for a long time. Neither ate or spoke, each thinking their own thoughts. Lacus thought of her father. What was he doing now? Ever since she stole the plans for 'Operation Spitbreak', she hadn't dared to go near Aprilius, except now, to get Kira. She hoped that Patrick Zala hadn't gone after him yet.

_How many people am I affecting?_ she thought. _How many people are suffering from my actions? _As a girl, her father had told her to always consider her options, because often there was no second chance to fix what she had done. Yet here she was, wishing that her life had a rewind button, so she could do things right. _Athrun…_

"… I see, Mr. Yamato. I'm sorry I brought it up…"

"Please, call me Kira. And there's no need to say sorry so much, Miss Clyne."

"Well, I won't call you Kira when you're calling me Miss Clyne. It doesn't sound formal, right?" She smiled. "So you can call me Lacus, okay?" Lacus picked up a sandwich and bit into the soft, cool cheese. Kira was shocked – she was supposed to be a politician's daughter, right? Shouldn't he call her that? But looking at her, who didn't seem any different from a normal girl at the moment, he couldn't help but think of her like that. She seemed so innocent, even though she had so much to run away from… in a way, just like him.

"Yeah, Miss – Lacus…" he replied, catching himself just in time. He blushed when Lacus giggled. But he couldn't forget how smoothly the name flowed off his tongue, like the water that flowed from a river into a lake… once again, he scolded himself. How come he kept getting lost when he looked at Lacus? Cagalli was the one he loved, with all his soul, even after all these years… so why?

_But, at least, now I can enjoy the company…_

Kira closed his eyes and sighed.

That was his biggest mistake.

* * *

"You see him, Auel?" Sting's voice crackled through the speaker attached to Auel Neider's right hip. Auel wore a loose white t-shirt and jeans. With his blue hair and carefree personality, anyone could mistake him for a normal teen going to a nearby school. But the only reason he was so carefree, even when facing blood, was a front for him to be brave… 

_Year EE 215, May 9_

_Karinga Alley, St. Paul, United States Federation_

_"Auel, get the heck out of here, now!" the gang leader, King, yelled. "Some git from the Ricochet gang planted a bomb in there. Just leave it! You have to go! Do you wanna get killed?"_

_"My pops' medication is in there! He's gonna die without it! I can't leave it…" Auel retorted. Only King knew that Auel's apparent lack of caring for his father was fake. After his mother died, his father fell ill, and Auel had to work hard to get money for the medication. The legal working age was 14, but Auel was tall enough to fake it. King, who had become his older brother type, wanted to help, but Auel would never let him._

_"No, Auel!" King shouted as Auel dashed back into the gang storage room. "There's only thirty seconds left!" _

_Just as Auel ran out of the room with a plastic container of tablets, the bomb went off. Auel was thrown forward by the blast, crashing onto the hard pavement. He heard a crack in his wrist. He must have broken it… but oddly enough, nothing had pierced his back or head. He got up and turned around. _

_There was King, his face bloodied by the wound on his forehead. His back had a sharp piece of stone embedded in it, and his face was contorted with pain, but he managed a small smile for Auel. Auel was speechless. King had jumped behind him as he ran out, covering him._

_"What did you do that for?" Auel screamed at him._

_King said nothing, only continuing to smile. His eyes closed, and his head rolled to the side. Auel couldn't speak. _Stupid!_ he thought. _WHY? Why… _he then looked at the few tablets in that little jar in his hand, and ran back to his father's place, fighting to hold back his tears. _

_However, when he arrived, he found his small home bombed to shreds by the air bombers of ZAFT Sky Kingdom. He ran through the ruins, carefully stepping over pieces of concrete and brick. He didn't feel secure – where was his pops? Was he safe? What if he was hurt? Or… Auel gulped. _No, I won't think about it… I WON'T!

_Auel tripped over a lump and stumbled, falling on the ground. His leg scraped against a jagged piece of concrete, tearing a big gash in his skin. He looked down as his leg dripped blood, and saw a head. He recognized it…_

_He started to breathe rapidly. _No… no…_ his mind kept on saying. _This can't be happening… it's not true! _Auel put his hands up to his face, staring at the blood they had on them from the ground. His tears mingled with the red liquid. _I… I… I'll get them! Those people who killed Pops are going to die, just like they killed him…

Auel brought up his binoculars. He thought he saw two people sitting by the highway, but he wasn't sure. One was wearing a hood, while the other had his or her head turned away from him. Then, he saw the person turn around and closed his eyes. He pushed zoom on the binoculars. Sure enough, there was their target.

"Got him," he said into the walkie-talkie. "Can I go blow him up now?"

"Stellar is finished setting up," a soft voice said through the speaker, grained by the poor quality of the walkie-talkie. "When should I shoot?"

"When Auel and I get in position, I'll send a signal, which is when you shoot. If you miss, Auel and I will run in with our guns. We must kill the target and whoever else is present in that case. However, our orders are to keep killing to a minimum."

Auel leaped up from his spot behind a bush into a closer area to the field, behind a tall hawthorn. He took out his two handguns from their holsters at his waist and held them at his side, ready for the start. He spoke into the walkie-talkie.

"I'm ready whenever you are…" he said, grinning. It was just another game, only this time, the shots were real…

* * *

Sting ran through the trees, keeping his mind focused on the task. He had to. He had to be the one to keep responsibility, because Auel and Stellar couldn't. It had always been this way for him – the burden was always put on his shoulders… but he was too used to all of this to object. And besides, he also thought of it as a punishment. 

_Year EE 215, January 17_

_La Fontaine d'Amour, Versailles, Eurasian Alliance_

_Never had anyone at the school seen such a sweet couple._

_Katie, the smart, intelligent girl of Niveau Trois in the elite École Bleu, had found love in her classmate, the English transfer Sting. Any boy would die to be with her. Sting could consider himself lucky. But then, Katie said that she loved him for being intelligent, rather than the others, who got in with rich parents and good sports skills._

_Sting, often quiet and calm, was exceptionally bubbly and nervous today. It was his very first date. He constantly watched Katie's face, wondering if she felt him sweating his palms crazy. The date was supposed to be perfect… _for a perfect girl,_ he added. She was smiling. THAT was good. _

_"Come on. There's something I have to tell you," she said as she led him to a chair in the park._

_"But Katie… we'll be late for the movie. Can you tell me as we go there?"_

_"No, Sting, I have a confession to make. This whole relationship, it's a cover. I love someone else, but I can't be found out. You understand about social standing, right?" She looked at him._

_"Katie – what's wrong with me? Was there something I did wrong?" Sting couldn't believe it. It was just a nightmare that would go away. "How could this end without even starting?"_

_But he believed her. He was wrong._

_The next day, gossipers were about._

_"Did you hear? The transfer's cheating on Katie!"_

_"How dare he? Stupid Brit…" _

_"He deserves a beating!"_

_After school, Sting was walking home to his host family's home. Suddenly, there was a sound in the bush next to him. He turned around to get knocked in the face. He stumbled backwards, only to get punched on his spine. He fell to the ground. A foot pressed firmly on his head. _

_"You know what? We don't need scum like you around, picking up girls and dumping them. We don't need trash like you here!" Sting felt hands pick him up and beat him again. And he knew it was because of Katie. She just wanted to get rid of him, he realized. She had gotten the highest marks before he came. And when he was out of the picture, she could get back to being that smart girl. _

_But then, it was his responsibility. He had believed her. How stupid he had been…_

So Sting was used to bearing responsibility for things he hadn't done. He took it as a part of himself, like a lot of other things. He learned to suppress his anger at sniping remarks all throughout his training. Thus, no one ever hung out with Sting, because they didn't know him.

But Auel did. So did Stellar.

They trusted him, and it was up to him to hold the team together. He had to…

* * *

Stellar heard the two signals emanate from her walkie-talkie on her belt. 

She stared down the gun, aiming at that brown head. In a few seconds, that head was going to explode with the impact of the bullet, sending a bloody shower in the air like a set of fireworks.

Fireworks…

_Year EE 214, October 16_

_La Baton Rouge, Geneva, Eurasian Alliance _

_"See the lights?" Stellar's friend Henri pointed at the bright-lit sky. "Aren't the fireworks pretty?" He turned to her and smiled. She smiled back. Henri was a good friend. He had always stayed by her, even when she had been cast out. She didn't know why, but he always stuck with her._

_"Stellar!" He grabbed her by the arm and led her to a bush behind a tree that blocked the view of the fireworks and other people. They were alone._

_"Stellar, are you still my friend?" Henri asked her behind the tree. She didn't like feeling this confrontation was giving her. Why weren't they watching the pretty fireworks? Why did they have to stand behind a tree that blocked the lights they had come to see?_

_"Y-yes…" she stammered._

_"Then you'll forgive me!"_

_And he suddenly moved forward. He grabbed her wrists and sharply twisted them behind her back. But Stellar couldn't scream, because her lips were sealed with Henri's own._

_She felt his hands twiddle with the tie that held up her loose dress. She couldn't move. Suddenly, he spat a strange liquid into her mouth. For fear of choking, her body instantly reacted by swallowing it. Instantly, she felt her mind float away from her body, and she sank into the darkness._

Stellar never forgave Henri. Maybe she would have then, when she was younger and more innocent. Maybe even more so when she had learned that he had done it to join the local gang. But she had learned it after the military had hardened her until she was cold, ruthless and forgiving. Besides, though this incident, she had met Neo. Neo, who comforted her and pulled her out of her despair. She had Henri to thank for that, at least.

She sighted down the deadly weapon once again, feeling the smooth, metal trigger on her finger. Ignoring Auel's buzzes from her walkie-talkie, she slowly pulled the trigger back. The all-too-familiar sound reached her ears, but she was too focused to have noticed it. The target was there, and so was her gun.

Stellar fired the shot.

* * *

Kira opened his eyes. Something was wrong. A faint noise… a gunshot! 

"LACUS, DUCK!" he screamed.

The bullet just missed Kira's head and whizzed past to hit a tree opposite the highway. Kira immediately ran over to where Lacus was. She was breathing and her pulse was just slightly raised, but she had a glazed look in her eyes, like something had been done to her. Kira squeezed her hand, trying to get a response. There was none.

"Lacus, Lacus… are you okay?" he asked.

He had to get her out of there.

But it was a little too late – by then, two boys, one green-haired, one blue-haired, rushed down at him with two guns in their hands. Kira was going to have to fight.

* * *

I added on the last part. It's all really rushed even after three months, which is bad. sigh Well, hope you enjoyed it somewhat… 

-EmbeRin


	14. All an Illusion

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Twelve: All an Illusion

After three months, this is the first thing I've updated. And this update is half a year from the last. I'd work on my other fics, but I have yet to find where the large notebook with the plots went. Don't worry! I remember most of it, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem…

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 29

Field en route to Aprilius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Auel sized up the competition. Some little purple riding hood and the target. No problem. The girl was so shocked, it was hilarious. However, if Neo was right, the guy wouldn't have a problem lugging around dead weight and still defending himself. He gripped his two handguns tighter. Tension got him excited.

Raising his guns, he fired at the guy, but he saw the target roll over. Sting fired the, but at that time the brown-haired boy was already running towards Sting, fists raised. Auel squeezed off a shot, firing through the thin space between the combatants' heads. The target backed up, allowing a clean shot for Auel. But at that moment the guy turned around to look at him.

Auel froze.

Why? He couldn't seem to push the trigger. It wasn't his first mission – he was used to the blood. Was it that this target was different? He was always killing off old men who were some politicians or other. Was that why? Because this boy was almost his age? He thought back to King. He wasn't so old. Could he really kill off someone like him?

The answer came to him instantly.

He must.

From the moment he had stepped into the military building, Auel had taken his first lesson to heart. _A soldier is only an extension of his superior. To feel for the enemy is to contradict your order. One does not think of or act upon thoughts of his own._ This was what King taught him through his death; Auel would not let his friend's life go to waste. It might not have seemed like it at times, but Auel followed this rule. Except now.

_Do it… do it… _his mind told him, as eh blankly stared out at the ongoing fight between Sting and the target. His guns now knocked out of his hands onto the ground, out of reach, Sting fought with his fists. The other was obviously trained in the way of martial arts, but he wouldn't last long. Not against Sting.

_Don't do it… don't…_ his heart told him, as he saw memories flash in front of him. King… what would he have done? How come these memories seemed so long ago? What was his father's face? How come he couldn't remember? What… what had the military done to him?

"Auel, what are you doing?" One voice rang over all of it. Sting's.

That was all that mattered now. Sting and Stellar were his family now. Nothing else. Not his mind, not his heart. He was their subordinate. He had no thoughts of his own. And he knew that this was what King would have done, the last shred of his past that had stayed with him. To him, he just needed to follow the orders of his family.

The target was open now, backing away from Sting's punches, trying to avoid contact. He had laid the girl down and placed himself in a position where he could both protect the girl and fight Sting. Auel, still at a distance, took aim at the girl, innocently sleeping. Innocent no more, that is…

* * *

Kira was getting tired. He already had his hands full with defending himself against the green-haired person, then having to protect Lacus as well. He was trying to watch the blue-haired boy with twin hand-guns – what if he shot Lacus? – but at the moment, his life was too much in danger for him to care too much.

He blocked himself from another of the green-haired boy's punches, raising his arms in front of him. A lump was blocking him from moving backward. Risking a glance down, Kira saw the prone form of Lacus, spread out on the grass, pink hair in waves around her. At that point, Sting launched a fist at Kira, which caught him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Kira landed on Lacus, and his eyes looked to the blue-haired boy – pointing a gun at him.

His eyes clouded over, and time seemed to freeze. Sound seemed to be blocked from his ears. He saw the boy pull the trigger, in slow motion. The bullet flew out, headed towards his face. For a moment, he could only stare in fear. Was he going to die? He wondered… how was Cagalli doing now?

_No, Lacus is here,_ he thought. _If anything, I have to save her!_

In the fog, Kira saw a strange purple seed. It seemed so vaguely familiar… he could have reached out for it, hovering in the air. But he stopped at the last moment, sensing something peculiar about that seed. What was it? Before he could get any answers, though, the seed exploded.

* * *

Auel could take a hint when something was off, but he had no idea that the Berserker's powers were that potent. He couldn't understand how the Berserker could possess such ability and not use it. What a waste… _but now that I have this challenge,_ he thought, _I might as well take it._

Still, he was shocked. The bullet was aimed perfectly at the girl's head, but the boy fell over, and he should have been dead. How could he have moved so fast that he rolled them both over? That was near impossible. Now he stared at Auel, purple eyes dulled to a pale, pupil-less, menacing stare.

Why was Auel hesitating?

He couldn't move. Transfixed to the spot, he could only watch the boy in fear. Why was he scared? He wasn't scared of anyone. He was a soldier. He wasn't supposed to feel. That was the commander's job. He was the commander's extension… right? Or… or was he just a scared little boy?

A searing pain shot across his cheek, snapping him out of his trance. The boy had taken advantage of his temporary inability to move and punched him hard. _I'm being weak,_ Auel scolded himself. _I can't believe I let him do that._ He could faintly hear Sting's exclamations of his stupidity, but he didn't use his usual retorts. Sting was right. He had to compose himself.

The boy shot his foot upward of Auel's chin, but this time Auel was ready. He grabbed the leg, hoping to twist the boy over and slam him into the ground. But when he was about to fall on the ground, the boy extended an arm out to the ground to stabilize himself. With that, he twisted his leg, slamming it down, and Auel went with it.

What was going on? There was some unseen force causing the boy to use insanely powerful tactics. Was the Berserker really that strong? For once, Auel couldn't rely on his cockiness to carry out his orders for him. Because he had finally met someone more powerful than himself…

But it didn't stop him from trying.

He spun into his custom 'Hurricane' move, whirling his fists in a spiral pattern that covered both offensive and defensive movements. Usually, no one could escape this move. But with the Berserker, who could know. _This lack of confidence is making me weak,_ he concluded. _Because I'm not confiding in myself, what I think will happen – me losing – is happening. I have to think that I will win!_

It almost seemed like it was working – he could feel his fists connecting onto the target's flesh. He grew confident. He stormed forward, continuing his hurricane movement, forcing the other towards Sting so he could shoot him. He was doing it! He was beating the Berserker! What need did Neo have with him, anyways?

The boy fell on the ground. Auel had won! He laughed. Berserker meant nothing to him. Something stupid. Irrelevant. Useless. Breathing heavily, he headed towards Sting. The fight was over, and he had come out on top. _He doesn't deserve a second chance to fight, because one should have been all it would take._ Auel turned away.

Behind him, the boy stirred.

Auel turned around. The body was still. _Well, it wouldn't hurt to check…_ he bent down on the figure, lowering his two fingers to check his pulse.

All of a sudden, the boy's hand flung out like lightning, grabbing Auel's fingers and bending them back. In shock at the sudden pain, Auel cried out, trying to wrench his fingers out of the boy's grip but ultimately making it worse. Before he knew what happened, he felt a dull object hit him on his head, and the world went black.

* * *

It happened so fast, Sting couldn't even catch what happened. One moment Auel was walking to him, the next, knocked out cold on the floor. He had to admit, though, that Auel was careless, and now his comrade would have to pay the price. Normally, Sting would have sent Stellar to care for Auel, but this time it was important for her to remain unseen. Auel would have to wait.

Auel's body slumped on the ground, the boy started slowly toward Sting, stepping over the prone figure. Sting fingered his gun's trigger. He knew that Auel had hesitated, and that was what had cost him. Still, he had no former relationships like Auel had with his gang that Sting had heard of, so he didn't get held back by those kinds of things.

The space was clear. _It's time to end this,_ Sting thought to himself. In one fluid action, he raised the gun and pulled the trigger on the gun. He couldn't miss… he was so close. Then, how could he see the boy getting up? It shouldn't be possible. It couldn't be possible. It WASN'T possible! It defied all that Sting knew. His focus, his stability, all gone in a moment. To Sting, the world might as well have turned upside down.

_I can't freeze like this!_ No one was unbeatable. Sting just had to find his weakness and target it. But, so far, none of his opponent's physical weaknesses had been revealed – as far as Auel knocking him down, he didn't show any signs of pain from that. He might as well have been bluffing to get Auel vulnerable.

Then Sting remembered the unconscious girl the boy had shoved to the side to avoid Auel's bullet. He risked a quick glance at her from the corner of his eye. When the girl had first fallen from the shock of the bullet Stellar had shot, the impact had pulled the hood off of the figure, revealing long, pink hair. That girl… was she…?

He cut his thought line off as he raised his arms to block a punch thrown at his face. Staggering back, he pulled his gun out again and pointed it at the girl. The boy instantly moved to protect her. Sting smirked to himself, skimming his finger on the gun he always kept hidden underneath his belt.

Sting fired the gun.

The plan was to force the boy in one direction, then pull out the hidden gun and shoot him while he was moving. It would have been foolproof on the opponent's part… but while he expected a bullet to fly out of the gun he had out, even if it didn't hit the boy, nothing came out. What was wrong? He couldn't risk taking the time to open the magazine of the gun, not right in front of his opponent, but judging by its weight, Sting figured it to be empty. _Of all the…_ he cursed his own stupidity.

But any other thoughts he had were thrown into pitch-black as the world around him started to fade. With the last vestiges of his strength, he reached for his walkie-talkie and pushed the emergency button. Maybe Stellar would get the message…

* * *

Kira woke in a daze. He couldn't remember much of what happened after the blue-haired boy shot the bullet. The only plausible answer was that he had gone Berserk, but he didn't relish the thought of it. He then remembered Lacus, who was conveniently next to him.

"Lacus. Wake up."

Kira stared pensively at the still body of Lacus Clyne, shaking her, doing anything he could to reassure himself that she was alive. Her pulse was good and she was breathing, but she still wasn't waking up. There was no injury done, and it had already been two minutes since she had fainted.

"Lacus…" Kira was beginning to panic. She hadn't shown any signs of responsiveness. He had dragged her into this… _this can't be too serious, right? _he thought, trying to calm himself down. _There's no blood, no signs of bruising… _but every second counted, and it wasn't looking so good.

"Ugh…" A moan escaped Lacus's lips.

"Lacus!" Kira exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"I…" Lacus sat up, rubbing her head. "What happened, Kira? I remember you telling me to duck, and a bullet, and then… did I faint?" She looked around for a while until she spotted the two bodies, lying on the ground around her and Kira. She gasped in shock in suddenly, but why? She knew they were there, and she hadn't reacted like that the first time around. So why now?

"What… what is…" Lacus began, completely in shock. Her mouth moved but not a word came out of her mouth. What was wrong? Had he done something he shouldn't have? Was it his fault? Kira reached out to hold her shoulder, to comfort her, but she shied away like he was poison. Realizing what she was doing, she suddenly straightened up and composed herself.

"Lacus, are you okay?" Kira asked again, this time with more concern.

"I'm fine," she replied in her usual manner, soft but brisk. "I was just… reminded of something," she finished, like she wasn't sure what to say. "In any case," Lacus looked at the two attackers again, "What are soldiers in the Earth Alliance doing in a PLANT? How did they get in at all in the first place…" She stared at their bodies for a while, for reasons unknown to Kira. "Although we should be thankful you didn't have to stain your hands with the blood of one's death…"

_Earth Alliance?_

They were after him too?

"Thank goodness I didn't have to use this," Kira said quietly, running his fingers over the smooth handle of the gun he had clipped onto his belt, the gun he had taken from the ZAFT soldier just yesterday. Such a frightening weapon… he knew he would have to use it sometime in the near future, but he couldn't stand the thought.

"You can't push it out of your thoughts," Lacus replied, almost as though she had known what he was thinking. "One day that gun's going to have fired by your hand, and since you know it, you might as well not dwell on it – we have more important matters at hand. But we can deal with the gun," she reassured him.

A strange silence fell between the two of them, but it seemed that they both revelled in the silence. They were far away enough from the side of the road that they wouldn't gather too much attention from the drivers, but close enough to the city to seek refuge in its numbers. No soldier would dare to capture them in plain view.

"What are we going to do with the two of them?" Kira asked Lacus, trying to break the silence between them as he gestured to the two bodies lying on the field.

"I don't know… normally, I would suggest taking them back with us – the least we could do is care for their wounds before we interrogate them. However, we can't afford to look too strange. We'll have to wait until another time to conduct such actions," Lacus replied. She felt bad leaving the two of them here, but they also had things to do.

A black car, appearing quite discreet, drove to the side of the highway, towards Kira and Lacus. Pulling her hood over her head, Lacus got up and began to clean up the picnic blanket and remaining sandwiches. Noticing the car, Kira also got up and went to help, although Lacus was already done packing most of it.

Kira reached for the basket to put everything in, but Lacus also reached for it. Just as her hand grasped the handle of the basket, Kira's touched right on top of hers. Kira felt his cheeks redden, and it took all of his willpower to look up at Lacus. Was that… was that a tinge of red on her cheeks? No, he was probably just imagining it because he wanted her to do that…

She straightened, taking the basket with her. Feeling her hand slip out from under his, Kira followed her like a puppy to its owner. Why was he feeling like this? He told Cagalli he loved her, and he did. So wasn't she enough? How come he wanted Lacus now too? Sure, she had a great personality and all, but she might as well be the opposite of Cagalli! How could he like them both at the same time?

_Because I don't,_ he told himself. He only thought of Lacus as a friend at best, and it was going to stay that way.

**_You're only telling yourself that to reassure yourself, _**a nagging voice in the back of his mind told him, a cynical voice who was the one to give him a reality check. **_Cagalli would be so mad at you, you know her. She'll hate you for eternity, and your whole life will fall apart. The reason you're still trying to live is not because they can't have your genes – you'd give them in a heartbeat if you could see Cagalli again._**

How could Kira respond to that?

If he gave up Cagalli for his mission, he wasn't loyal.

If he gave up his mission for Cagalli, the world would be plummeted into chaos.

No matter what, his conscience always got the better of him…

* * *

Sitting in the car, Lacus held the basket on her lap, buckled into her seat in the back with the seat belt. She stared emptily at it, completely engrossed in her own thoughts, of which she had many. But only few ever captured her attention and focus as the one of a particular brown-haired boy…

Lacus already knew Kira held someone else in his heart, but she couldn't let the thought go. To be honest, she didn't know why Athrun even liked her before – he made the right choice when he let his thoughts of her go. She didn't deserve either of them, or their love. She wasn't as sweet as everyone used to tell her – had trying to save their lives cost her so much? She was cast out by the only one she thought would ever understand what she was trying to do… Athrun. And now she wanted Kira?

"A penny for your thoughts," a voice said to her, surprising her. She jumped up and was flung back by the seat belt. At least she proved it was working… she looked to her left and saw the owner of the voice strapping himself in the car. He just happened to be the subject of her thoughts – not that she could tell him that.

"Nothing much, Kira," she quickly replied, running a hand through her hair, attempting to give off a casual front.

_For you, Kira, I'd give you anything of mine…_

Looking out the window as the car started up again, Lacus sighed. "I've just been having bad dreams lately, is all. I've been wondering about what they mean. Is there something bad about to happen in the future?"

Lacus wasn't actually lying. Her nightly ritual started to add waking up in a fevered sweat, hands trembling at the repeated nightmare of her shooting her father. The bodies she saw on the field reminded her of it. She dared not sleep much any more, because it scared her. How come she kept on hurting those around her? She was only trying to do good.

"You're thinking about Athrun, aren't you," Kira said, more like a statement than a question. Shocked at his response, she turned to find him staring at her, and they stared into each other's eyes. _His eyes hide so much under that misty veil,_ Lacus thought. _Yet they can penetrate my thoughts so easily…_ finally breaking under his gaze, Lacus turned around to the window again to see they were on the highway.

"We used to be the best of friends," she replied sadly. "I don't know what went wrong next, but I couldn't get back to him, when he needed me the most, and I let him down. Now he hates me… but he has ever reason to, so I can't hate him for it.' She couldn't fall apart in front of Kira, not when everything was building up… depending on her. If she broke down now, all she had done would go to waste.

Suddenly, she felt something on her shoulder. She turned to see Kira, calming her down.

"Don't blame everything on yourself," he said to her. "You can't control everything that happens. The fact that you're helping me is amazing enough. I can't thank you enough for it. So don't hit yourself so much. I'm sure that many people would much rather see you smile." He then smiled at her, and she could feel her heart lighten up.

"Yes… thank you, Kira," Lacus said. And ever so slowly, a faint smile appeared on her face.

* * *

Stellar was watching the fight between Sting, Auel and the brown-haired boy – well, she had been for a short time. After a while, she got bored – it looked like they were handling themselves well, and a butterfly caught her eye. She watched it dance in silent wonder, marvelling at its beauty and grace. Stellar was so lost in it that she neglected her duties for some time, and only when the butterfly flew away did she finally look back at her walkie-talkie.

The emergency button was flashing red.

_Oh no!_ Stellar thought in alarm. _Stellar's been a bad girl and now Sting and Auel aren't okay. I have to find them! _Turning around to where the opening in the trees was, Stellar quickly saw her two comrades lying on the ground – it wasn't hard to miss Auel's powder-blue hair. Shoving bushes aside, she ran across the grassy field. The brown-haired boy was nowhere in sight.

Falling to the side of Auel, she shook his shoulder. He looked in a bad way – his fists were caked in blood and his face had a large gash on his right cheek. _What do I do…_ hurriedly, she took out a piece of her uniform, gently lifting his head and wrapping the strip of cloth around his head. Another two strips went around his hands.

_Auel…_ Stellar thought worriedly. _Auel doesn't look good._ She shook him again, but his response – or lack of – was the same as the last. _Stellar was bad, and now Auel… _she continued to shake him feverishly, fearing for the worst. _If Stellar can't help him, Auel might never wake up… Auel might – _

Stellar stopped mid-shake, frozen. Her eyes began to glaze over in fear, and she started trembling. _Cold... it feels so cold… I'm going to… to… _She shuddered, coughing. Rubbing her arms to get rid of that eerie feeling, she huddled in a ball. Next to her, Auel stirred, but Stellar didn't notice. He brought his hand to his head, rubbing it, and sat up, not seeing Stellar at first.

"Ugh… been a while since I got beat up like that," Auel commented to himself, feeling the cloth strops on his hands and face. "Who did…" He trailed off at the sight of Stellar. Shifting so he faced her, he asked, "Oi, are you all right? Oi! Stellar!" He waved his hands in front of her face, satisfied when she looked up.

"Auel… Auel is all right? Will Stellar… die?" At saying the word 'die', Stellar immediately retreated into her huddle again. Auel sighed. _She can get herself into these moments even on her own… how she got in the military in the first place is a wonder…_ but he didn't have a clue on how to stop her. Sting was always better at this.

"No, no, Stellar, you'll be all right too," he tried in as comforting a voice as he could muster. "Come on, you're a good girl, right? Let's get Sting" – at this, Auel took a glance over at the green-haired boy, who looked worse than he did himself, then continued, "and go back to the _Lodonia_. Okay? Come on."

At this, Stellar launched herself at Auel, latching herself onto him and burying her head in his chest. Auel immediately turned red, not knowing how to react. Slowly, hesitantly, he brought his arms around her and patted her softly, all the while wishing that Sting were conscious so he could relieve him of Stellar.

"Really?" Stellar's voice came out muffled by Auel's uniform.

"Yes."

Stellar unwrapped her arms from around his waist, wriggling out from her position. Auel sighed again, this time in relief. He went over to Sting, examining the condition of his comrade. It didn't look like he had a spinal, so Auel grabbed Sting at the waist, flipping Sting over onto his back. Securing his position by looping his arms around Sting's legs and slinging Sting's arms over his shoulders, Auel walked back to Stellar.

"Come on, let's go," he said in his usual impatient tone, without as much as a look at her, sitting on the ground. After a few moments of walking back to the forest, he turned around to see Stellar still sitting down. "Stellar?" he called out, but she still didn't stand. Rolling his eyes, Auel said, "I'm pretty sure Neo's waiting for us on the _Lodonia _right now…"

Immediately, Stellar leapt up, running to catch up with Auel, away from the bloody battlefield.

* * *

Well, that's it for Chapter 12. Sorry if it sounds a little broken in places, but I've been struggling with this chapter. Hopefully, I'll be updating this with at least one more chapter this summer. A Diary Entry will come up soon, hopefully, Once again, my apologies for my tardiness.

-EmbeRin


	15. Diary Entry 03: Lacus Clyne

The Lone Berserker

Diary Entry 03: Lacus Clyne

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

_September 29, EE 216_

_My heart feels calmed at the sight of him, but it threatens to beat out of my body when he looks at me. _

_He looks to me for comfort and assistance, but more and more I feel that it is me who needs him to be there with me._

_He says he is the one who doesn't understand, but he knows what he has to do. He has something to go home to, if he ever can go home. He has a shred of hope to return what to what he once had. _

_Sometimes, I wonder why Kira can't understand he has so much. _

_But then I realize he has all his duties and such, protecting the world from the Berserker inside him. I wonder if all the Berserkers felt like this? That urge to protect the world from what they knew they had inside them. Of course, no human in recorded history was one to sympathize with their intentions…_

_Kira mystifies me. _

_He captures my attention. Fully. I absorb his every detail, watching him constantly. He seems to be left-handed. He makes funny sounds when he sleeps. He has this odd habit of fiddling with his fingers. He makes me feel at peace, something no one had ever been able to do, save one other person._

_Athrun._

_I wonder what went wrong between us. It seemed like we were almost inseparable back then, when we were still young and innocent. Of course, it was me who changed our thoughts when I had to leave for September City, but I thought I would see him again soon. Then word of the plan 'Operation Spitbreak' reached my ears, and I got so absorbed in it._

_His sorrows, his worries, his heart – they all went past me. And I didn't even care._

_Sometimes, I wish there was a machine that could turn back time and freeze it at that very moment I left Athrun. So I could step back into my younger self and manage to keep my promise to him. Then… maybe we'd still be friends and I wouldn't have caused this rift between Kira and Athrun. _

_As I write I'm sitting outside, enjoying the night sky that is sprinkled with stars. Athrun used to sit outside with me when we were younger, and we'd point out constellations together. The first one he ever taught me was Libra, the scales. I can see it right now, its ends forever representing equity and balance. _

_Athrun, can you see the stars? Or are you shadowed by the darkness of the inside? No, I have no right to truly ask that question. Who am I to say what is darkness and what is light? Perhaps it is me who is in the dark and he that is enlightened. _

_Maybe it is me who is in the dark. I can't even tell what it is that is most dear in my heart right now. I thought that completing this mission would be the most important to me right now, but I can't stop thinking about how I will apologize to Athrun. Not that apologizing worked in the first place. Just… his words still ring in my head. _

"_Sorry's not good enough anymore!" he said to me. But I don't know what is._

_And then there's… Kira. He has such a burden on his hands and I want to help him. But more and more, I keep getting distracted. Today, when he touched my hand, I could feel the strange tingle I felt so long ago when Athrun held my hand on the swings at home. It wasn't an odd feeling, but it made me feel… lost. Like I didn't know what my purpose was any more. _

_My heart feels confused. It has so many things it must tend to, yet it can only hold one dear. What is it that is most important in my life now? _

_I remember my father once told me, "Never lose sight of what is most important to you. That way, no matter where you are, you will always know where you're going." But Father, I don't know what that is any more. Where am I going to go now? I need someone to guide me. To hold my hand. And the only two people who would ever do that for me, whose hands I want to hold, would never want to hold my hand. One now hates me, and the other has someone most important who is not me. _

_Someday, there will be a time when all of this is over, and maybe I can start things over again, a clean slate. But for now, in this time, in this moment, I am still the bane of many people's lives, and until this whole ordeal has passed, I will have to keep my head high and show no weakness. This is the time for me to keep on going. My test._

_Kira… although in truth he could go on without me, I cannot let him down. I can't break down and cry. I have to be strong… so that maybe, one day, we can walk hand in hand towards the future.

* * *

_

Well, there you have it. Once again, I based this diary entry on a song, this time the second opening of SEED, 'Moment' by Vivian or Kazuma (and I do not own this song or the translation done of it). It's not as good as I would have liked it to be, but then again, I almost forgot to write it. I do have a new project I am working on, but hopefully I won't be too distracted from my fanfic writing. I won't be seeing this story for a while…

-EmbeRin


	16. Ardent Accusations

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Thirteen: Ardent Accusations

I suppose you all think I'm dead…

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own any of the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

_"It seems, Azrael, that your people have not lived up to the expectations either," the masked man said. "Your leader's reports have not been all that pleasant to my ear. I daresay my soldiers have been faring better than yours in accomplishing something." He glanced at the screens around them at the many faces of the world leaders. Many of those faces would mysteriously disappear, one by one. It would throw the world into chaos._

_Chaos. He thrived on it._

_"… just you wait, Creuset. When my people are the ones who catch the Yamato boy, you won't be so cocky!" the blue-suited man retorted angrily, sharply contrasting the masked man's nonchalant tone. He slammed his hand on the control panel, accidentally opening up a ZAFT military channel. He quickly hid his face and shut the channel. _

_"I suggest you keep your temper away from the equipment, Azrael. We don't need the pesky governments to know that the cross-alliance communications system has been hijacked."_

_"Hmph. Speak for yourself."

* * *

_

Year EE 216, September 30

ZAFT Temporary Base, en route to Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"Where are you taking me?"

"I can't tell you."

"What can you tell me?"

"I can't tell you."

"Fine, what can't you tell me?"

"I can't tell you, but I'm pretty sure you've figured that out by now."

"Argh!" Cagalli screamed in frustration. In accordance with the laws of ZAFT Sky Kingdom, a prisoner was allowed three questions that his or her retainer could answer. It was mostly useless because of the strict rules placed on what questions a retainer could answer, but it dated back to when the Berserker executions were still in effect, when the executors would retrieve information on the Berserker's behaviours based on the questions they asked.

Athrun didn't think he would be going through this process with anyone other than Kira. Now, he sat with an angry, impatient blonde who seemed nothing like Kira, although she had claimed to be his sister. The ID she carried in her backpack seemed to correspond with that, anyways. Athrun doubted that she had the ability to create a counterfeit and he didn't see what reason she would have for doing so.

_Unless… someone has found out about Kira other than us…_

He shook off the thought. It was highly unlikely. The dealings of Berserkers shifting weren't enough to make big news, and when Kira had come to ZAFT Sky Kingdom he wasn't old enough to have his photo or name released, not even in ORB. The only thing the media would have been able to say was that a Berserker suspect was found and that he was sent off to leave ORB.

Still, something felt weird about the whole situation, like there was someone behind the scenes, pulling all the strings. Why? Who could that person possibly be? It was too large a thought for a mere soldier. He decided that his superiors deserved such a thought more than he. He wasn't good enough to have opinions on how to dispense of others' lives.

"What's the point of having three questions if you won't answer any of them?" the imprisoned girl continued angrily, shaking the bars she held so tightly. It was a futile effort – the bars wouldn't be beaten by a mere human's strength. Athrun wanted to laugh at the girl. She deserved this for being arrogant, thinking that she could control everything.

"I'm only following orders," was his decidedly cold reply.

_Very good…_ the voice of Vengeance said._ No one deserves kindness in this world. You, never having received any, shouldn't have to give any, especially to an insolent girl who knows nothing of the reasons behind your actions. She has no right to chastise you – don't let her._

_But… she's only doing what would be expected…_ Athrun thought. _Does she truly deserve the cruelty for something that she hasn't done? I mean… how is she to know what I've been through? I'm forcing my anger onto her, and she doesn't even deserve it._

_You must apologize,_ the deep voice of Guilt said to him from a corner of his mind._ How can you expect her to understand if you won't even tell her what you think of it?_

_Can't you see how pained she is from all these hidden secrets?_ Pain commented._ She deserves to know the truth, the complete truth. She hasn't heard a word from her brother for three years – don't hide it from her._

_After suffering yourself, shouldn't you be able to empathize with her?_ Sorrow pointed out._ You're not even making an effort to understand her, yet you're accusing her of things she doesn't even know about._

_I… I…_

"Do you know why we want Kira?" Athrun decided to ask. One little prompt would be okay.

"Don't you dare use my brother for your sick-minded war games," Cagalli replied roughly. "He's an innocent soul and I'll make sure he has no part in your schemes to take over the world." They were probably trying to use his Berserker genes or something, she had figured. She would make sure they would never find him.

_But… he's not just my brother,_ Cagalli thought. _I mean, I thought he was something else before. All those feelings I had – they've faded away. I don't know why. I've tried to keep my memory of him alive, but it's failing, and now I don't see him as anything other than my brother any more._ Was she being a bad person for being like that?

"Innocent? He betrayed me!" Athrun screamed in reply, temporarily losing all control of his emotions. Realizing his mistake, he immediately quieted down, retreating within himself. "Never mind," he said coldly, in an attempt to shake off her attention. "I don't think you'd ever be able to understand what I mean."

"What do you mean, betrayed?" the blonde inquired, with an underlying tone of steel. It took a lot for Cagalli not to scream at Athrun – _Kira would never do such a thing!_ she seethed inside – but she wanted answers first and foremost.

"It's not my place to reveal," the soldier replied. He tried to stay cold, but Cagalli could tell she had gotten to him. All she had to do is provoke him enough, though he seemed like a hard nut to crack. He would tell her once he was stung.

"I don't believe you," she began. "Kira is an innocent soul. He has a calm manner, a pure heart – "

"You'll never understand," he interrupted sharply. "He lied to me. Screw his little angelic act; he said he was my best friend! Best friends are supposed to help each other! Now he's just making me chase him around and calling me wrong like he's some high and mighty god! What kind of friend does that?"

_This guy's got it all wrong,_ Cagalli thought. _Can't he see that Kira is trying to help him?_ But before she could speak, he continued.

"My mother DIED at Junius-7! The Earth Alliance is using us! Doesn't Kira see that we are being used?" the soldier continued, slamming his hands on the table at which he sat. "He doesn't even care for ZAFT Sky Kingdom, and they took him in! He was using us, just like we were tools at his disposal. And when he has no use for us, and we need him, he runs away, calling us the bad ones!"

He fell silent.

Cagalli didn't know what to say. She would have continued to yell at him, but in his situation he didn't deserve it. He was simply so trapped in his own ideals and thoughts that he couldn't see beyond that and what Kira thought. The death of someone close could do that, she figured.

"What about what Kira thinks?" she asked. "Fighting doesn't solve anything. What good is getting him to do something you want if he won't help you himself?"

"Don't try and understand me," Athrun snarled. "Kira couldn't do it. Neither could… she. You're just like them – so close-minded that you can't see what's happening around you. You hold your ideals in such high esteem, living in your own world. Not everyone can be so fortunate!"

"Fortunate? FORTUNATE?" Cagalli screamed back. "My brother was taken away by some stupid law just because he has some weird gene! He might as well have been dead to me! I had to get through all this myself. And now I find out he's alive, only to learn that he's probably going to die anyway! Stop thinking that you're the only one suffering here!"

Athrun didn't answer.

"You're talking about other people not understanding you and them preaching their own grand ideals. Yet what are you doing? They are trying to work things out, but you won't even try to listen! Always insisting you're the right one – if they are truly that bad, then what are you?" Cagalli took a deep breath. _Calm down. Maybe I should try to understand him first._

She heard a small sigh. The soldier looked down at his desk, littered with papers she couldn't see. He sifted through them, picking up a small square piece of paper that she assumed was a photograph. A wistful look passed his eyes as they misted up with the fog of reminiscence.

"We used to be the best of friends," Athrun said softly. "Why am I chasing him now?"

"Because you believe it will help do something."

He turned to Cagalli. The words had just popped out of her mouth.

"You wanted to get revenge for your mother, right? Vengeance is sweet – I wanted to get revenge for my brother when they forced him out of ORB. But I realized that for all the people who would suffer for Kira's sake, it wasn't going to bring him back to me. It took me a long time. I was really angry." She sighed.

"Isn't that kind of like what you're going through? Even if you kill all those people, your mother won't come back. Why kill all these people just to prove your mother is dead?"

She looked over at the soldier – no, Athrun. If she wanted to understand him better, she should try to be nicer. After all, it seemed like she would be stuck here for a while – allies in the enemy fort would be nice.

"But… this is their fault! They should pay with their own lives." Maybe she was growing crazy, but it didn't sound like he was the type to be a soldier. He seemed very… peaceful. But if he really was the son of the chairman of the Supreme Council, it wasn't surprising that his own opinions were brainwashed out of existence.

"And if everyone thought that way, the whole world would be dead," Cagalli stated simply.

Athrun slowly turned back to his papers in silence, but it gave Cagalli a certain degree of pleasure to know that she had given him something to think about.

* * *

All this time, Athrun had believed in his father.

He had no reason not to. Patrick Zala was the chairman of the Supreme Council of ZAFT Sky Kingdom, one of the most powerful nations within the Earth's sphere. A man in that position couldn't afford to be wrong, he had once said to Athrun. Too many people depended on him for that to happen. So Athrun believed in him.

Yzak, Dearka, and Nicol believed in him. His father had the power to unite him and his comrades together, they who were so different from each other. Even Nicol, the peaceful one, decided to join the army at Athrun's father's powerful words. He couldn't be wrong… right?

So when this stranger told him that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong, at first he didn't believe her. But she had told him he was blind, not willing to open his eyes. He was trying, even if he was only doing it to prove her wrong.

The people of ZAFT had done nothing to provoke the Earth Alliance. All of a sudden, the city of Junius-7 got bombed, shaking the entire Junius PLANT and threatened to throw it out of balance to crash on the Earth, killing even more people. They killed innocent lives and threatened even more, even those on their own side?

He no longer knew what was right and what was wrong.

_"And if everyone thought that way, the whole world would be dead,"_ she had said. Was that true? It was, when he really thought about it. Did that mean that somewhere on the enemy's side, there would be someone who felt exactly like he did, that ZAFT did something bad?

He looked over at the girl, who was staring up at the ceiling. She seemed so out of place in the cell, like she would never do anything to land herself in jail. It was as though this was another side to that fiery, explosive girl, one who was sensitive to the things around her. What else was she hiding under that bold exterior?

It was then he realized just how much he wanted to know about her. What ORB was like back at home for her, her friends, her school – he wanted to know what a peaceful world it was like. He found it odd that it wasn't that he wanted to know more about Kira's past. He simply felt an urge to know a life that he wouldn't be able to have anymore.

"So… what's it like, where you come from?"

He saw her head snap to look at him, those amber eyes staring right into his own, as though she were trying to analyze him.

"We just have a lot of time on our hands," he added quickly.

The girl sighed.

"Well, my house is in a quiet neighbourhood, with a park nearby. That was where mom found Kira…"

* * *

"He doesn't seem to mind watching the prisoner," Nicol commented as the other three members of their tiny squadron watched the road in front of them, along the Aprilius-Maius skyway. The three of them had only avoided treating the prisoner because of the incident with Yzak, but after a while Nicol felt guilty about leaving her with Athrun. Well, it seemed it didn't matter much.

"Hmph," Yzak muttered. "There's something weird going on between him and that girl, and I don't like it. He's been paying a lot more attention to her than he should be. He's not paying attention to his duties as commander of this mission, and he's been acting mysteriously around us. What was with him that other night, anyways?"

"Face it, Yzak, he's doing it so you don't have to," Nicol replied, quite unlike him. He wasn't about to let them bash away at Athrun when he wasn't there to defend himself. "He's probably just helping us out. We're almost at Maius PLANT. Get our entrance papers ready."

"One step ahead of you," Dearka chuckled, pulling out a sheaf of papers. "They're all done and prettied up. No need to stress, Nicol, unless I suddenly decide to drop all these papers out the window or something. Don't worry, I'm not that stupid," he quickly added. "You don't have to get all fired up."

Nicol's expression softened. He couldn't hold an angry face for long, and those two knew it. Inwardly, he sighed – what could he do? – but he knew Yzak wouldn't let Dearka be so stupid anyways, not at the risk of his hopeful, budding military career.

"Whatever," Yzak grumbled. "Just get the papers for the security check, and we can get this over with. The sooner I don't have to see that annoying girl's face, the better." His hands gripped the steering wheel more tightly, his face a grim look of determination fuelled by a burning hatred.

As they passed through the security checkpoint (without a hitch, thankfully – Nicol shuddered at the thought of what would have happened if something went wrong), Nicol went to the door of the trailer. Just as he was about to open the door, a sound erupted from the other side. He stopped.

He could have sworn that was the sound of Athrun laughing.

Somehow, Nicol couldn't put it together. Why would Athrun be laughing? Commander Le Creuset wasn't known for cracking jokes, and unless Athrun had suddenly become crazy and was talking to the commander, there wasn't any reason for him to laugh. There was nothing to laugh AT. Unless…

But Nicol doubted it. Athrun wasn't that kind of person.

* * *

Year EE 216, September 30

Cerberus Sector, ZAFT Military Base – Maius Branch, Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"Where am I going now?" Cagalli asked. The conversation she had with Athrun had actually gone well; they shared stories and such, especially concerning Kira. He hadn't changed much at all, he was still the sentimental boy that she had known and cared for. Cagalli was glad to know he was still him, even if the one who was telling her was the one who was hunting him down.

But she learned even more about Athrun. Despite being a soldier, he didn't want to fight. He didn't see his father so much any more, and lived with his fellow soldiers. Because of this, he'd feel a little lonely sometimes, but he wouldn't say that. The son of the chairman was expected to be strong, he said, and so he bore a face for the public.

"A cell," Athrun answered coolly, easily covering his feelings with a mask of reserve. "Where else did you think you would go?"

"Only asking," she said, without bursting. She wondered how Athrun felt. What made him so vengeful? Who was his mother to him?

They arrived at a cell no different from the last twenty they had passed, with laser-detecting, iron-barred walls. Cagalli was ushered in without so much as an 'excuse me' for getting shoved. She turned to yell at Athrun, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Still, the fact that he didn't try to resist the orders he was given made her feel somewhat angry.

Why, though?

* * *

Athrun didn't know why he had spent that time with that girl. What was the worth in it for him? He had gotten all the information he wanted out of her, and he knew Kira was with Lacus Clyne. It was a waste of time to spend all those hours talking to a prisoner when he should be creating strategies.

Still, it awakened something he thought he wouldn't see again, not feel again. It lit a flame strong enough to conquer the empty darkness that overtook him. How come? All this time, he had been on his own, and no one could fill the empty space that Lacus left behind. But with Cagalli, the sounds of Vengeance faded away into white noise. For those few moments, he had been back to his old self.

Then he remembered his mission and his father.

What did he truly believe in?

_No fighting. I want no more fighting. It's true – all the soldiers I kill won't make Mother return. Why didn't I see it before?_

_Do you really think you can stop a war? _Vengeance asked. _You're just grabbing onto loose strands because you're weak. You want to fill the emptiness in your heart? Your spirit won't rest until you've done the right thing, and you know that only the blood of your enemies will fill that empty void. To end everything peacefully is sweet, but a lie. Only by forceful conquer will things end._

"… will I see Kira again?" Cagalli asked.

"Who knows?" Athrun replied icily.

_But I want to believe…

* * *

_

I am seriously losing all my motivation to keep writing… I'm sorry if it sucks. I just feel bad if I don't put it up. Thanks goes to my dear friend Kat for her insight.

-EmbeRin


	17. An Inextinguishable Flame

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Fourteen: An Inextinguishable Flame

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, October 2

Clyne Faction Base, undisclosed area

"Lacus… what will we do now?"

It had been two days since Kira had arrived at the Clyne Faction headquarters, which was located right underneath the ZAFT military's noses. Since word had reached them that the pursuit force had ceased chase, the Clyne Faction relaxed. But Kira felt uneasy.

Something big was going to happen. And in his current position, he felt completely helpless.

"You feel the need to do something?" Lacus asked, sitting down next to Kira. "That's good. You are sure of your belief and what your path will be. When you are with no doubt, anything is within your reach. If your will cannot be bent, the ones searching for your power will never take it from you." She smiled, though Kira did not smile back.

"But, Lacus…" He sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone, even if the anger at their intentions wants to let out the Berserker in me. I can't let them get away with this, but I can't bear to injure a person if I think of those affected. Kids, wives…" He put his face in his hands. He understood what she meant, but did he really have such a strong will? Especially against… Athrun?

He didn't want to bring a gun up against him.

Suddenly, he felt a hand, a soft hand, prying his own hands open. He looked up at the clear, worried eyes looking at him, and wanted to say something that would make her happy. He didn't want to see her beautiful face marred by tears –

_No… _Kira thought. _I can't let Cagalli down now, when she probably needs me the most. Here I am, thinking about another girl…_ _I mean, I told her I understood her. I can't let her down. Not now, when she's all alone…_ He couldn't look at Lacus and think those thoughts, so he turned away.

"I probably can't help you, Kira, but I want to help," Lacus said to him quietly. "When the time comes, remember that I'm here for you. I don't want you to suffer alone."

They were sitting on a bench at the edge of the PLANT wall, within the boundaries of the Clyne Faction base. Kira found himself staring into space, observing the stars through the Earth's thin exosphere. Back at ORB, there were only a few places saved from light pollution at night. Here, the stars looked so different to him. He never found a lack of fascination from them.

Was his fate already written in these stars? Did he believe in a prefabricated destiny?

He found that he didn't know. He still had doubts.

But around Lacus, he felt so much more relaxed. He felt confident. He felt like he could do anything, like he was on top of the world. With Cagalli he was warm, but also worried about something or other. With Lacus, all his worries were banished away.

_I won't think about this anymore!_ he thought angrily. _I'm not being fair to either of them. Maybe I should just…_

A strange weight fell on Kira's shoulder. He turned to see that it was a head of long, pink hair. He smiled. Lacus seemed so worried and tired lately, it was only right that she get some rest. Deciding that now was the time to go back to the base, Kira carefully picked up the sleeping girl in his arms and walked back, a little unnerved by their closeness.

* * *

"We have reports of a ZAFT platoon forming near the border!" a voice reported through the platform's comm.-screen. "Our scouts have disabled one of their cohorts and seized communications. We believe that ZAFT has discovered our location and is seeking to launch an assault on the Clyne Faction!"

"Blast!" a tall, burly-looking man cursed. "How did they locate us so quickly? All stations, arm yourselves and take exits D, G and I! We will continue on to Plan Gamma!" Noticing Kira, carrying Lacus in his arms, he said, "You might as well wake the commander now. We must evacuate!"

The screens flashing in the headquarters changed to show another face, which saluted to the tall man.

"Sir!" the man reported. "The main ZAFT forces have breached the first gate! We must leave now!"

"Come! To the door," said the man next to Kira. He tapped Lacus on the shoulder lightly while hurrying Kira beyond a hidden door. Lacus's eyes flickered open once the three of them had entered, turning slightly red at how Kira was holding her. Regaining her composure, she stood up and nodded to the man, who replied with "Commander," and saluted.

Kira looked at the man. He seemed like an experienced leader – he kept his composure, even in this panic. Lacus didn't seem to be used to being called commander, though since she had been building the Clyne Faction for at least a year, she probably felt a necessity to keep a sense of structure in the party. _Still… she doesn't seem to like it much._

The man also seemed to notice this, and turned his attention to Kira.

"I thank you for watching over the commander," he began, inclining his head. "I've been so busy I haven't been able to meet you properly. It's a shame I have to introduce myself to you under such circumstances. I am Andrew Watlfeld."

"Where are we heading?" Kira asked. They seemed to be forever descending the second they stepped into the door.

"This is one of many secret exits in our base, which we call Eternal," Andrew replied. "We have initiated our emergency plan, known as Plan Gamma. We would have carried out Plan Alpha had we been prepared, but the plan must be executed at all costs."

"And this plan?" Kira said. "What is it?"

"We must eliminate the present danger that stands in our way," Lacus commented. "Left to their own devices, we fear that ZAFT will stage a large counterattack. We are going to attempt to force both warring sides to a ceasefire." She said it with such conviction that Kira was stunned for a moment with her commanding presence.

Then he realized the gravity of her words. A ceasefire between both sides…?

"But… how?" he managed to sputter. "That would be…"

"Special task forces have been dispatched onto the Earth. An allied force from Scandinavia is assisting our people in launching a raid on the Earth Alliance headquarters. It's up to us to handle the dissection of ZAFT forces here. This way the allied forces will seize control of both attacking spheres."

Lacus turned back to look at him.

"Kira, I can't allow you to get involved. I want you to stay with Andrew and get away from here. Doubtless your… pursuers know of your arrival by now." She avoided saying Athrun's name, Kira noticed. But he couldn't agree with it.

"You said that it was good for me to want to help. You said that it meant that I would be on the right path. So how come you won't let me help you?"

"Th-that's different, Kira," Lacus stammered.

"I know you want to take care of me and make sure I'm safe, Lacus, but I'll never be able to live happily again knowing that I didn't do what I thought was right. I'd never rest in my grave." Seeing her worried face, he added, "Be strong, Lacus. Your people need you. Don't worry about me. I think I've learned a lot over the past few days. And I have to make my own path, you know?"

The descending feeling stopped, the doors opening to reveal a long tunnel of metal. Kira blinked. Periodically lit by lights perched on the walls, it resembled a hall to a ceremonial grave. If he squinted really hard, Kira could see a ladder at the very end of the hall.

"Our escape route," Andrew said, gesturing.

Kira looked at Lacus again, seeing for the first time the teenage girl behind the strong exterior. _I wonder if she ever felt what a normal girl feels?_ he thought. _She's been forced to grow up so quickly… I want to help her. I want to give back what she has lost. _He found that he was surprised at this. Never had he felt so wholeheartedly about anything.

"… yes," Lacus said quietly. "Be careful, Kira. There are those who desire your power. It would be best that you do not fall into enemy hands." Those words were spoken with decisive firmness, a remote detachment from the girl into the commander. In a way, Kira admired her. Her strength was what kept her – and everyone else – going.

* * *

Year EE 216, October 2

Outside of Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"So, is HE there?" Auel muttered angrily, looking out at the people assembling at the field. He was going to take down that brown-haired git. That boy would pay for making a fool of him. He would make sure that the boy rested in a bloody, bloody grave –

"You can't kill him," Sting flatly replied. "We're under explicit orders to capture him. Meaning capture him _alive._ Don't ask me why our orders suddenly changed – first it's okay to kill him, now it's don't kill him…" He placed his binoculars to his eyes, scanning the area over. They had caught sight of some armed forces in the vicinity, though they couldn't tell from what party. Either way, one of those groups would have a lead to their target.

The trio of teenagers was at the edge of ZAFT's military headquarters premises, a little outside the city of Maius-3. EA spies planted in the area had reported that ZAFT forces were moving around in the area. Certainly, they thought, the only reason that forces would assemble within the PLANTs would be to attack and capture that which they seek.

_Which is exactly what we seek,_ Neo had told them plainly.

"Anyways, he's not there," Sting continued. "Probably with the opposing forces. I can't say I know who they are, but I've heard rumours of the Clyne Faction."

"Clyne Faction?" Auel repeated. "You mean those fake goody-two-shoes?"

Stellar looked from a flower growing in the grass to her two friends. They seemed so angry, but she didn't know how to make them happier. Was she being a bad girl again? She'd be good. Really, really good. If only Sting and Auel would smile every once in a while…

Grabbing Sting's sleeve, she tugged gently.

"Stellar's been a bad girl… right?"

"Hmm?" Sting turned to the open-eyed blonde, "You're a very good girl, Stellar. What makes you think that you've been bad?" He stroked the top of her head gently. It was odd to have to play the father figure. But Stellar depended on that support.

"Sting and Auel aren't smiling. They look angry. Did Stellar do something wrong to make them unhappy?"

"Oh, come on, Stellar. I'm sure Neo's very happy about you now," Auel threw in. "You're not bad."

"Neo is… happy?" Stellar asked.

"Yeah, and you know what?" Auel added. "He'd be even happier if you defeated the bad guys."

"Bad guys?" The blonde looked at Auel, slightly confused. "Neo doesn't like bad guys?" She looked at the people lining up in their green and red uniforms on the other side of the field, with the black objects that fired things out at their sides. At least, she thought so. Every time she saw them they were fighting and killing, whatever 'killing' was.

At that moment, Stellar spotted a head coming out of the ground.

"What's that?" she asked Sting. He looked at her, followed her line of sight and saw three figures emerging from the ground. From their angle, that was how it appeared to be, but Sting suspected that there was an underground tunnel. However, what interested him more was who was coming out.

First was a brown-haired man with sideburns and a scar over his left eye. While he didn't seem to catch sight of them, Sting decided to remain on his guard. Next was a head of pink. At the sight, Sting immediately stiffened. They had seen the girl before. And the target had been with her.

Sure enough, the boy carefully stepped out of the hole, looking around as though he had already sensed their presence. It was lucky that around the field lay small copses or this would have been a most difficult area to ambush.

"That boy, Stellar," Sting said, "is someone Neo wants to see. We have to bring him with us. But those other two will try to stop us. They are bad guys."

At that, Stellar unsheathed both her blades and jumped out of their cover. Sting tried to grab her, but he was a little too late. He sighed and put a hand to his forehead. _Some strategy that was…_

"So, what're you gonna do now, Sting?' Auel asked. Despite the severity of the situation, he couldn't help but grin a little at his partner's undoing. Relish every moment you have – that was his motto, because he realized that in a life of vengeance, your spirit never rests.

"We have to go after her now, don't we?" Sting answered, sighing. "The girl will be easy to take care of, and the old man won't be too much of a problem. The problem is keeping the target alive."

"Do we have to?" Auel complained. "One shot to the head would make everything easier."

"Apparently, the higher-ups want to rub some salt into ZAFT's wound by taunting them," was the reply. "I'm sure that once those scientists are done with him, you can do whatever you want."

"Well, if you say so," the blue-haired boy finished. Together, the two of them ran out from the woods to attack the unsuspecting target.

* * *

Andrew was the first to notice the blonde assassin.

Yelling, "Both of you, get down!", he reached for a knife on his right hip, withdrew it, and blocked the two blades probably meant for himself and Lacus. Pushing himself away from his opponent, Andrew jumped back, in order to get some time to size up his opponent. Doubtless she had been watching them from some cover, probably foliage.

She was young, very young; perhaps it did not surprise him any more because of the ages at which children came to help the Clyne Faction, but he had always watched over the children with care. It was hard for him to see the girl in front of him another way. The soldier's instinct in him wouldn't allow him to rest, though. He had not once been a reputable ZAFT commander for nothing.

The girl lunged again, her blades crossed, ready to deliver a shoving force. Andrew planted himself firmly, bracing himself for the impact. Just as she landed a strike, Andrew noticed two other boys running up to them. He didn't expect the girl to be alone, but he wouldn't win three-on-one. Not if they were all of this skill level.

There was only one thing he could do. He had to get the boy and the commander away.

"Hurry, you have to go!" he yelled. "Go to where the other troops will be!"

His assailant immediately turned to the two teens, blades at the ready. She gripped them tightly and dashed past Andrew. As he moved to follow, he caught movement to his left and met it with his knife. The boy, a blue-haired one, quickly jumped to the side.

"We're your opponents now, old man!" he said, grinning.

Andrew gave himself a few moments to turn and look at his commander. She was trying to get up, the boy Kira telling her something as he pulled out his own knife to block the attack. The commander pushed off the grass and stepped back, but the attacker was faster, dashing behind her defender.

"You're a bad person. Neo doesn't like bad people. Neo wants to see him, though, so you'll have to go away." The girl smiled, as though she had no idea what she held in her hands. "Sting said that if Stellar puts this in you, you'll go away. You don't mind, do you?"

The girl now stood with her knife poised to strike at the commander's throat. Andrew looked around for a way to help, but the blue-haired boy quickly blocked his view, causing him to instinctively raise his knife. He was about to move back when the green-haired boy leapt at him and twisted his wrist. Andrew was able to kick him off, but not before the knife had been forced out of his hand and kicked over to the other battlers.

_I hope that they will make it out alive,_ he thought desperately. _They have to stay alive. That is my sworn duty to fulfill._

Turning, he noticed a knife coming straight to his face. Without enough room to dodge, he grabbed the weapon by the blade, wincing at the sharp edge biting into his hand. He wrestled the knife out of the bearer's hands and slashed at the green-haired boy.

"Well, old man, you're pretty good!" the blue-haired boy commented.

"Thanks," Andrew replied as he parried a blow from the green-haired boy. "I make it a point not to get beaten by two teenage punks."

"I'll take that as a challenge," was the answer, and the two sides charged at each other with renewed fervour.

* * *

Kira turned around, but could only watch in horror as the attacker slowly closed in on Lacus.

"What if I don't want to go away?" Lacus asked apprehensively. "Ca I just stay here?"

"… but Sting said that you have to go away. If he says that, Stellar can't just let you go…" The girl looked distraught Then, as though she had new resole, she said, "No, if Sting says so, then Neo wants this. And if Neo wants this, then Stellar has to do it." She gripped the knife more tightly.

Kira spotted a knife being tossed over to them. It bore the Clyne Faction symbol on it. Now that Andrew has unarmed, he had to do even better to keep Lacus safe. Taking his own knife, he took aim and threw it at the assailant.

"Hmm?" The girl turned her attention to Kira just in time for her to jump back. Kira took that time to grab Andrew's knife and run to Lacus.

"You have to go," he told her, carefully watching the blonde girl all the while. "They're not after you, but you have to lead the troops waiting for you. Andrew is holding off the other two. I'll join him. We'll come, don't worry." He tried to shove Lacus on her way before it was too late, but she grabbed on to his arm.

"No, I want – " Lacus suddenly bit back her words. "I mean, as the commander, it is necessary to keep my charges protected. If they take you, all would be for naught – look out!"

The moment Kira turned around he felt an unsightly slash across his left arm. He blindly thrust his knife forward, grazing the girl on her cheek. Jumping back, he risked a glance at his arm. It was bleeding, but it wasn't anything that would cause him to faint.

"Look," Kira said to the attacker, clearly angry. "I don't want to hurt you, but if you keep trying to make Lacus 'go away' then you're going to die." He sighed. "I… don't want to make you."

"D-die?"

* * *

"Stellar's going to d-… d-…"

Stellar began to shiver, falling down onto her knees. The knife, with its bloodied edge, fell from her hand. She gripped the other blade she had, staring at her reflection in its shiny metal. Her face was panicked, and her eyes were wide with fear.

"N-no… Stellar doesn't want to d-d-die…" Stellar whispered, and it became a sort of mantra, which she whispered to herself continuously as she tried to recover from the shock. "Am I… will I… no… AAAAAAH!"

Stellar screamed. She couldn't take it! That cold feeling was coming back, and it wouldn't leave her alone…

* * *

Auel stopped in the middle of a double-team assault on the man. He turned to the source of the scream, whispering, "Stellar?" He had to jump back and raise his blade to defend himself from the onslaught he was too distracted to avoid.

_No, I have to keep my focus,_ he said. _It's already cost me to lose concentration. I am a soldier, and so is Stellar. We above all must understand that sacrifices are made for a bigger cause._ Against his heart's intent, he turned back to the battle and rejoined Sting. But all the while, his conscience doubted him.

Was he doing the right thing?

Mindlessly, he continued to carry out what he had been taught to do. It was instinct to him now – he was a soldier, and he couldn't remember being anything else any more. He was convinced this was true, so what was that feeling of anxiety?

Auel wanted to get rid of that feeling.

He broke away from the fight, running over to Stellar. Seeing her in a huddle, shuddering profusely, told him immediately what had happened to her. He looked over at the target and that pink-haired girl, who had taken this event to their advantage. Helping the girl up, the target cast a look at them, one of shock and something behind it; something like pity.

_Pity for someone they don't even know…_ Auel thought. _What kind of people are they?_

"Auel!" Sting called out. "You go. I'll take care of Stellar."

By now, the target and his two companions were long gone, having run away into the forest. Auel stood up and was about to run after them when Stellar tugged at his sleeve.

"Stellar doesn't want Auel to d-die," she managed to get out. "Stay with Stellar, please?"

Auel sighed. "Sting's gonna stay with you. I gotta go, all right?" Seeing that Stellar wasn't about to let go any time soon, he added, "If we don't, Neo will be unhappy…" Expecting an instant release, he was surprised when Stellar reluctantly let go only after moments of consideration.

"Okay…" Stellar said. "But Stellar will see Auel again, yes?"

"Yeah. Don't worry."

Finally managing to get Stellar to calm down, Auel walked over to Sting.

"So, do I go after them now?" he asked his friend. "That old man knows what he's doing – it's not that I can't find them," Auel grinned, "but you know, it might be tiring."

Sting was already reaching for his walkie-talkie, pulling it out. He asked, "Neo. We have loose mice. Should we get out the cheese or return to the Lodonia?"

"_Pursue them, but keep a low profile and take it slow. There's no need to rush. Apparently another force is ahead of you. I didn't know about another force being deployed, but that's what Azrael's saying. Don't reply to me – it seems the radio channels are being monitored."_

"You heard him," Sting answered. "We'll go together, seeing that Stellar's recovered. Nice job with that, by the way." He smiled, watching Auel's expression contort. "I never knew you were such a softie. Don't worry, I won't tell a soul."

"… I just had to get her off my back, that's all."

"Is Sting okay?" Stellar asked, getting up and brushing the dust off her clothes. "Are we going back now?"

"I'm fine. Thanks, Stellar," Sting said to her, and she smiled. "We're going after them, but we'll go slowly. Okay? We'll play games like we did before, okay?" _Just like before, when responsibility was light. Now I can feel the weight on my shoulders… but I can't let either of them down. They put their faith in me. And… it is my punishment for my naiveté. _

_Katie… you may have hurt me, but I've become stronger from you._

"Come on, Sting!" Auel yelled at him. "Don't be a slowpoke!"

* * *

Year EE 216, October 2

Corridor C, Topaz Building, ZAFT Military Base – Maius Branch, Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"From one cell to another, huh?" Cagalli said sullenly as she glanced around at her new surroundings. Grey walls, hard bed, toilet in the corner… yes, it was definitely jail. She could feel the confining atmosphere from the red laser bars in front of her. From the other side, the silver-haired boy – Yzak, was it? – was entering the pass code into a card. The other soldiers, Dearka and Nicol, were watching.

"Don't complain," Yzak sneered. "You're in one of the most luxurious cells of the base. This is where people are put when they're about to be put to some use, or tried. If I had my way, you'd still be in the truck."

"At least it means you won't have to stay here much longer," Dearka added. "Trials are usually quick. And it depends on how Zala deals with you." He snickered, as Yzak said an emphatic "Hmph."

Cagalli saw Nicol give her a sympathetic look. She knew he wasn't meant to be a soldier. But the look was also something else, something behind those eyes. What was it? It felt like a probing stare, beyond any protection her brain had in keeping her inner thoughts. He was curious, she concluded.

Then, he looked away, and Yzak's voice interrupted her musings.

"I suppose they'll try you soon enough," he said. "Criminal courts here aren't that harsh. Besides, they won't kill you, not if you're so important." He said this last statement mockingly, reminding Cagalli that she was imprisoned as a hostage. Cagalli snarled in response.

"Well, we're off. Right, Yzak?" Dearka interjected, as though to stop the tense moment. "You have to give the key to the _commander._ Zala doesn't like waiting." He turned Yzak away from Cagalli's merciless stare, leaving only Nicol behind.

He continued to stare at her eerily, until she finally asked, "What?"

"No, I just thought would ask more questions. You didn't ask why you keep moving cells, you don't ask where they take you. I probably just imagined you as much fierier person." The serene boy smiled. "You made Athrun laugh. You know, he hasn't done that for a long time."

Cagalli blinked. "You… heard?"

"You're not a bad person, I know that. It's great that you are helping Athrun become his older self. But you must know, he's hardened. Kira has become his – "

"Nicol, what are you doing?" Yzak yelled. Hurry up!" And so, with a last glance at Cagalli, he left, leaving her to wonder just what he wanted to say.

* * *

Year EE 216, October 2

Residence Room 1029, Ruby Safehouse, ZAFT Military Base – Maius Branch, Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Athrun fiddled with the key card in his hands, the one that Yzak had unceremoniously thrown at him angrily after storming into his room. Entrusted to the fate of the prisoner, be it confinement or escape… what was the Supreme Council thinking? Why were they giving him control over one person?

He readied the papers in his folder for presentation. It was one of the few times he felt nervous. The Supreme Council – he could not shame his father in front of them, but was his father still right? Sifting through his files, he found Cagalli's file. He stared at the picture attached to the paper for a long time, but suddenly realized what he was doing and recoiled.

_Have you yet seen the error of your false hopes? This girl is not going to bring your mother back. You have no hope. This is the result of your mistake to believe. You have strayed from your father's path._ Vengeance hovered around him, his foreboding atmosphere making Athrun shudder with fear.

… _no, I won't listen to you any more._

_No? Do you honestly think you have an option?_

Athrun thought this over, not because he was unresolved, but because he was determined to prove this voice wrong. He had made up his mind. Mindlessly killing would not change anything in the past. Perhaps love solved nothing for him; he realized it was all about risks. _You win some, you lose some,_ he thought grimly, not liking it. He didn't like chance. He lost, once. But he had been blinded from the voices of his friends by hate, and put the blame on them instead of looking at himself.

Hearing those stories Cagalli shared with him showed that there were still innocents at stake. It brought out the subdued flame in him, letting it spread like wildfire.

_I can try, and I will try. I've been sitting on this fence for far too long. I have to find – _

Suddenly, a loud 'BOOM' resounded through the walls, and the power went out. As the emergency lights flicked on, the crisis announcement came on:

_"This is a level three security breach. All stations are to execute anyone not of the ZAFT faction within the building. I repeat. This is a level three security breach."_

_A bomb?_ Athrun thought. _I have to get out of here…_

He was about to leave when he realized he had dropped the key card to Cagalli's prison. His soldier's instinct told him to leave it and save himself, but his peaceful heart disagreed. He stood in the doorway for a few moments, torn between the last vestiges of his former mentality and his new resolve.

"… tch!" he said finally, and ran back into the room. Slipping the key card into his chest pocket, he took out the gun at his side, undid the safety lock, and sprinted down the now smouldering hall to Topaz Building.

* * *

Finally, I managed to type it all. I had it written for a few days, but I kept on getting distracted and couldn't type it in one go. I don't think I have the motivation for long chapter stories any more… nevertheless, this story is almost done, so I'll finish it. Thanks to those who are bearing with me…

-EmbeRin


	18. Arson of the Soul

The Lone Berserker

Chapter Fifteen: Arson of the Soul

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own the characters of Mobile Suit Gundam SEED, and never will, so don't sue me.

* * *

Year EE 216, October 2

Corridor C, Topaz Building, ZAFT Military Base – Maius Branch, Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

Perhaps Athrun just wasn't used to it, but he was surprised at the calm, precise movement of ZAFT. There were no screaming masses, but controlled manoeuvres. He had deftly evaded the eyes of his team, and ran across grounds to the prison sector. What he was about to do would be treason under a level three security breach, but he was beyond orders now.

Why couldn't he have seen it earlier?

When the veil of war had cast itself over his eyes, he was blinded. He could not make the right decision. Only ever following his father's orders, the soldier mentality took him over. He could only follow orders of others, rather than making his own.

But the wind had come, blowing the veil away. And now he was going to save that wind.

She was trying to peer out of the prison, leaning as far out as she could without having the laser bars penetrate her skull. He ran to the cell and swiped the key card in the slot. The bars blinked and receded. Cagalli looked at him, as though an unsaid question passed between them.

"Why…" she began, but trailed off.

"We don't have time. Come on."

"But – "

"You want to live, right?" Athrun asked her. "Then come. I don't have the time to explain now. Bombs have been going off every three minutes. I expect the next one to go off in a minute or so. We have to get out of range." He started off at a run, looking back at Cagalli to make sure she was close.

Athrun pulled Cagalli around the vacant side of a building, making sure no one was watching them. He then consulted a portable map in his pocket, and led her towards the smouldered buildings with rising smoke. The blonde was surprised, and stopped.

"Why are we going there?" she asked. "There's attacks coming from there! It's too dangerous to go back. We should sit and wait it out."

"Take a look at this," Athrun replied, showing her his map. Several red dots were flashing on the map, which appeared to be a schematic of the base. "These are where the first three bombs have gone off. If we follow the current path at which they are set, they go progressively towards us." He pointed at a blue point. "Therefore, we move toward the points to avoid the next explosion."

Cagalli nodded in agreement, understanding Athrun's logic. "All right." He probably knew more about the current situation than she did right now, and although she was a little wary, she had no choice but to trust him.

The two of them continued along the side of buildings until they heard another explosion.

"The residences," Athrun said. "We'll be entering the rubble soon. Cover your mouth." He brought a sleeve to his mouth to avoid smoke and pieces of dust from entering his breathing, and brought his gun up.

A figure moved on his left. The dark-haired soldier turned around and raised his gun, steeling himself to pull the trigger if necessary. From behind the pieces of rock that formerly were walls came a person around their age. He wore an outfit similar to Athrun's, but what stood out most was his wavy green hair. Athrun blinked. What was Nicol doing here, all battered?

Nicol suddenly fell over.

"Nicol!" Athrun shouted, disregarding his previous warning about inhaling smoke. He ran to his friend, holstered his gun and looked over the injuries. Scanning his eyes over Nicol's body, Athrun bit his lip. Scratches and scrapes from crumbling debris lacerated his exposed skin. His uniform torn, a piece of rock had gouged a long scrape down the side of his leg. Another piece protruded from his left arm.

"… oh, Athrun," Nicol said, almost nonchalantly in response to his friend's concern. "It's good to see you're safe."

"Don't talk. Can you stand?" Athrun watched anxiously as his friend tried to push himself up. Deciding that it was going to open more cuts, Athrun lent Nicol a shoulder and let him drape himself onto his back. Suddenly remembering that Cagalli was still with him, he looked around for her. She was still standing there, watching. Taking the fact that she hadn't left as a sign that he could trust her, Athrun continued to help Nicol.

A shadow covered his left side. He reached for his gun –

"I'll take his other side," Cagalli said, taking hold of the soldier's arm and slinging it over her back. "His condition will worsen if you carry him alone."

A nod was the only response, but she could tell he was thankful.

* * *

"Where are we going to take him?" Cagalli asked as the group continued to trudge through the debris. She looked over her shoulder at Nicol. The green-haired boy wasn't holding up too well – she feared if they walked much further, he would fall unconscious. Cagalli watched as Athrun tensed, as though the comment had stung him.

"… I don't know."

"Isn't there some emergency base you can take him to?"

"Battle isn't like on your sappy dramas you might watch in cinemas," Athrun snapped. "I doubt it's left unscathed now. Bombs were unprecedented in the making of this structure." The sniping response made Cagalli mentally recoil, but she avoided doing so physically so as to not upset Nicol's balance. Walking quietly as Athrun continued to mull over his thoughts, her own mind wandered over to a wet feeling on her shoulder.

Blood.

It seeped into her clothes, staining them into a cross between red and brown. Cagalli didn't look any further; she didn't want to see where it was coming from. The mere thought of this blood already disturbed her. She shuddered slightly, drawing Nicol's attention to her.

"Am I… bothering you?" he asked in a quiet voice, so quiet Cagalli could barely hear it over the chaos around them.

"N-no," Cagalli immediately responded.

"War is… a bad thing. Terrible. Just… never thought… this would happen to me…"

He fell silent, and they continued on across the tattered remains of the ZAFT base. They passed by a sign that looked like it once might have said 'hospital', but the building was long destroyed by a bomb. Walking on, Cagalli felt a feeling of despair slowly sink into her. She began to slow down in her steps, almost tripping over a large piece of rock.

"… you – no, Cagalli," a voice interrupted, startling her from her trance. "Be careful. We don't have time for carelessness on a battlefield." Cagalli looked up to find hard green eyes staring at her.

A shout and a shot nearby cut through the tension like a clean knife. Athrun grunted in frustration, looking around for cover. Fruitless in his search, he reached for his gun again, careful not to jab Nicol's injuries. He extended it to her, offering her the handle.

"You know how to use a gun?" he asked. Cagalli nodded – after all, how hard could it be? Point the barrel, press the trigger, it does the rest – and was about to take it when Athrun pulled it back, as though he had second thoughts.

"I'm doing this because I trust you. The second you break that trust, I won't hesitate to kill you." He sounded harsh, but Cagalli knew Athrun would not kill her. He didn't want to kill any more; it wasn't in his nature to be so heartless, the talks in the truck taught her that. But it wouldn't be right to abuse that trust and run off and Cagalli figured she'd be safer under his protection anyway. She nodded, and he offered the gun once more, letting her take it.

_This Nicol must mean a lot to him,_ she thought, turning to look at the green-haired boy once more. He was calm and serene, even though wounds plagued him.

When the sounds and shouts disappeared, Athrun and Cagalli continued to walk, but she noticed that his hand remained at his hip, where a sheath could be seen, probably for a knife. Seeing him so wary made her feel uncomfortable. She understood now what it meant when people said they had a bad feeling.

How ironic, then, that it was at this time that the enemy chose to attack.

* * *

Athrun was hoping that this wouldn't happen, especially since Nicol was on their back. But he had been planning different tactics to employ should this scenario arrive, and he quickly placed the most accessible one into action. The enemy was armed with a knife, which was advantageous to them; he engaged in a spar with him and allowed Cagalli to cover Nicol.

The enemy was skilled; he deftly passed his knife between hands, constantly provoking his blind spots. Even though he was the head of the class at knife combat, the attacker's abilities pushed him to his limit. Athrun couldn't even afford to look back at Nicol and Cagalli. There only appeared to be one assailant, so he figured they would be all right.

But all of a sudden, his opponent switched gears, taking a sudden, unprecedented swipe at him, forcing him to jump back. Athrun had been so taken aback by such a reckless move, he forgot about reacting properly and catching the blade. The enemy took this chance to dash around him and streaked toward the injured Nicol and Cagalli. Athrun cursed himself for being so careless, but there was no time.

Anxiously, he watched.

Cagalli was standing in front of Nicol, not being able to pull the trigger even when the shot was practically point-blank.

Athrun wanted to scream "What are you doing?" but it was a little too late for that. Why had he entrusted her with a gun? Before the assailant attacked, though, Cagalli threw the gun to the ground.

The gun went off, shooting a bullet in the soldier's leg. Nicol pulled Cagalli back to avoid the bullet, but in her shock she fell to the ground. Athrun ran past the now injured attacker, quickly supporting Nicol again and urging Cagalli to stand.

Inside, Athrun was seething with anger, but at himself – how could he have expected a civilian, from a neutral country no less, to shoot at a person? His insistence at saving Nicol blinded him and led him to give away a dangerous weapon that may have ended up killing them all. All the same, though, it definitely wasn't all his fault.

"What were you doing?" he yelled when they were out of range. "You said you could use a gun. Did you think you were such a hot shot that you could just pull a trigger and not even have held a gun before killing someone? You almost killed all of us instead." He stopped, glaring across Nicol to her.

"Come on, Athrun, we can't argue now," Nicol said. "You should leave me here. You can't get out alive like this."

Athrun had been thinking of it, to be honest. He knew that Nicol was right and he wouldn't feel bad about being left behind, but his conscience gnawed at him. It was a soldier's bane to have a conscience about the things he did – weren't they only supposed to follow the orders and not think about them? – but he had felt like he would be empty without his feelings. He wanted to save Nicol, and he had decided his father couldn't stop him.

"We can't just leave you here," Cagalli insisted. She turned to Athrun.

"Look, I'm every bit as concerned as surviving as you are. I only wanted to reassure you," she began.

"Thanks for almost killing us."

"I don't know what's your problem," Cagalli retorted, starting to turn red. "Sorry for trying to help!"

Athrun suddenly stopped, mid-breath, as though he were just about to scream again at her. He let go of the air slowly. Why was he arguing? Nicol needed to get out of here alive. They needed to find a medic. He tugged lightly on his friend's sleeve, indicating that it was time to move.

Obviously miffed, Cagalli grudgingly followed.

The ZAFT ace found that he couldn't keep his focus. His mind was drifting – sometimes his thoughts went to the blonde to his left, sometimes over the pieces of the shattered heart his once-friend had left behind – and he found it hard to listen to the things around him.

One question hung over his head; why did he join the war in the first place?

As much as Athrun would like to place that on his father's head, he had made that choice. He had wanted vengeance, vengeance for the bombed Junius-7 that stole his mother away from him. Soon enough, that vengeance spread to the protection of his friends and his father. Coupled with his lingering feelings of Lacus, he was broken. It had been when he felt the most vulnerable, and he was willing to do anything to stop the fighting. His father merely used that to his advantage and turned him into a model soldier.

His father wasn't ruthless. If only he could convince him…

"… Athrun?"

Athrun turned at the sond of his name to Nicol. "Sorry?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Is it wrong to want to protect a friend?"

"Well… it's just…" A face of pain contorted over Nicol's face.

"There's nothing wrong," Cagalli added. "I would think that if you didn't want to, there's something wrong with you, right?" Athrun mulled the words over; he would have called her naïve, but now that she had even seen the circumstances war forced upon youth, he thought she was either incredible for being able to transcend those horrors or extremely stupid.

He wanted to believe them, those words that he himself would have probably said before he ever laid his hands on a gun. It was only now that he saw and understood the civilian thought that he found his own self again; Nicol seemed to have realized that too, and that was why he wanted him to leave. Nicol wanted to save his humanity.

"But if you keep holding me up like this, you two – "

"Don't you want to live?" Athrun shot, a rare scene with Nicol.

"Yeah, but – "

"Then live! You can only live if you want. Fight, Nicol! What about your mom and sister waiting for their son and brother to come home? How could you let them down?" Athrun probably didn't have the right to say something like this, since he was pleasing his father for being in the military, but it was his rediscovered conviction. And he didn't want to lose it.

He looked at Cagalli, who only nodded.

The three of them were suddenly interrupted by the sound of another bomb go off, further back.

"The people who planted the bombs will come soon," Athrun said, looking towards the direction they were heading in. "We need to hurry."

"Wait, where are we going?" Cagalli asked.

"… somewhere. Somewhere we can help Nicol."

"And what if that's your enemy?"

"We don't have the luxury of choosing," Athrun said finally, after what seemed to be a moment of deliberation. "Nicol, you all right?" Nicol nodded slowly, trying to conserve energy. Athrun bit his lip in anxiety. If facing the enemy meant facing Kira, then…

_… so be it.

* * *

_

Year EE 216, October 2

Forest outside Maius-3, ZAFT SKY KINGDOM

"I spy with my little eye something that is… blue!" Stellar chirped happily as the trio walked through the forest. Perhaps traipsing was more correct term for the way Stellar was moving; she was skipping, jumping and generally having fun. Even though they were on a mission, Stellar always found a way to enjoy herself, ad right now the fad was 'I Spy'.

To avoid their companion becoming mentally unstable, Auel and Sting went along.

"Uh… the sky?" asked Auel, feigning ignorance. In a way, it was mean of him, but since such things flew right over the blonde's head, he went right on with it. Sting sighed at the blatancy of such a thing, but explaining these things to Stellar would be too exhausting. Besides, it was characteristic of her, and ruining that sort of innocence would be a loss.

"Nope!"

"My uniform?" Sting pitched in.

"Nuh-uh…"

"… my hair?" Auel added, trying to sound interested. It was at times like these that he felt that Stellar was truly just a girl.

"Nope!" Stellar shook her head energetically, turning to Sting. "It's your turn now!" It looked like Sting was taking a while to think about this as they walked.

"… that butterfly we passed two minutes ago with the blue and yellow wings?"

"Yep!" The blonde clapped happily, albeit quietly. "Now it's your turn!" Sting mused for a few moments while he tried to think of an engaging object.

"Where did that come from?" Auel said, a slight bitterness in his tone. Amused, Sting raised an eyebrow and one could have sworn he was smiling.

"Well, well," Sting began, only the slightest bit of sarcasm dripping. "Are you jealous?" He revelled in the carefree attitude, savouring every moment, that for the moment, he wouldn't have to bear the weight of the mission.

Auel watched Sting. He kenw that his friend – he supposed that that was they were, after all – was feeling burdened. At times, he kind of wanted to tell Sting that he shouldn't take the weight of everything. Not everything was his fault, though something had obviously happened to the green-haired boy to make him think otherwise.

It wasn't like him to worry, though, so the blue-haired boy didn't say anything, only making a grumbling complaint about Sting's sharp eye for details.

Skipping in front of them, looking for signs of a trail, Stellar perked her head up at the sounds of a battle. She stopped, her soldier instincts making her hand immediately reach for a knife. Sting noticed, and ran up to Stellar. Auel followed.

"I hear… shouting," she said quietly. "What is it?"

Sting saw that the forest was thinning out. Poking his head through a smattering of bushes, he was able to see a base of sorts, makeshift by the look of it. He thought that it was an assault base of sorts, though he wasn't sure. Next to him, Auel was also squinting, trying to figure out the situation. Was this the other force that Neo spoke of?

"Neo," Sting reported through the walkie-talkie. "There's a large company in front of us. We can't pursue the target any further."

"_Stay put for the time, though I imagine you'll be coming back soon."_

"Really?" Stellar asked excitedly. "Stellar will see Neo again?"

"_Yes. The group in front should not be one of us, so there could be danger. Return to the Lodonia – "_

"_What are you saying, Lorrnoke?"_ a new voice erupted through the walkie-talkie. Aside from never hearing the voice before, the three were also surprised because they had never heard anyone address Neo by his last name. _"I want that Berserker boy now! I won't have that man and his z – uh, ninnies catch him first!"_

"_As you wish, sir," _Neo replied, obviously a little strained.

"_It better be!"_

"I take it we're back to chasing?" Auel said finally after the exchange. "Or can we just head back anyway?"

The sound of a cocked gun silenced any thoughts the three had.

* * *

I know, it's been far too long since I last updated, as usual. I also know that I said that this story was almost done; I revised the plotline to make it more understandable, and so it's grown at least another three chapters in length. Sorry if the story seems kind of disconnected at this point. It's been kind of touch and go.

-EmbeRin


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